Butt is home sick............

Butt

I decided to create a separate thread because i didn’t want to hijack the previous thread and some people expressed the concern and I also received some private messages.   As usual typing from my phone.... No paragraphs. Sorry for typos.  I am very home sick. I miss my immediate family. I moved to the US years ago and my life is here. After I got diagnosed of course I could take time off work and move back to Europe for treatments. I am not going into details but the treatments I get in the US in this context are much better. My home and life is here. I used to travel to visit the family 2-3 times a year before the diagnosis. I have never been homesick because I could go there. I hold both passports.   I do not have any family in the US. Period. I have been going thru all treatments, side effects, surgery recoveries, important medical appointments alone. Of course, I have friends but many live in different states and busy professionals with family commitments. They can t take time of work and travel care for a friend. What makes things worst this is a long, hard saga. Someone asked a question about my former NED and prognosis. The NED was very short but gave me a lot of hope.......... The hope that I had lived for 3 months.  The prognosis? They think between 1-2 years. They know what drugs they have and fir how long on average they work plus or minus. No immunotherapies that are promising for MSS.  Of course, many ones would say they don t know exactly that is correct. With stage 4 chemo resolves the issue in only 2-3 percent of cases. Yes, I had a liver resection, got the pump and a mop up chemo. The beast re-appeared on my lungs.  Promptly. I get that there are very, very  people out there with stage 4 who gave  been clean for years. It is a very small percent. In my case chemo hasn’t  killed the cancer cells. Many people think that it is like an antibiotic for a step throat that will fix the issue. It is not. I can t even plan my trips home and look forward to them for well-known medical reasons. Just looking on an airplane in a sky make me burst in tears.  I can t just plan or look forward to things unless I have a reasonable indication that it would happen. Yours,  immigrant Butt.

Annabelle41415

Sorry

You are in a country with no family which has to be extremely hard.  Friends are wonderful, but family is family and know what you mean about being with them.  Almost everyone here has family so it's hard to relate with your situation.  As far as prognosis don't ever go by statistics.  Every day they come up with new discoveries and cures and you are right, the US is a great place to be in for treatment.  I'm sorry you feel the way you do but I'm glad you found us.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim

Canadian Sandy

It’s hard to be alone when

It’s hard to be alone when you have a sickness. I feel for you Butt and know that I am also very much alone through this. Keep strong.

Diane_K

Butt,

Butt,

I am sorry you're home sick and are going through this terrible time without family near by.  You are a very strong person and I'm glad you have friends, but I understand it's not always easy to ask a friend for help.  Let your friends know if you need help.  Not everyone, but some I'm sure, will be willing to help you.  Keep up your strength.  I'll pray for you.

myd

Homesick

Butt, 

I do not have cancer, but my wife had it.  It will be two years in June since she passed away.  I am an immigrant to the US.  The beast is an incredible adversary.  I believe you must enjoy the battles you can win to the fullest.  My wife truly enjoyed visiting with family and friends when it was possible.  We did have to time things well.  Take those trips in between treatments.  Someitimes, request to have treatments delayed (a week only) to accomodate our plans.  Coordinate with family abroad & friends here, perhaps you can take a little escape.  Don't delay, your body may weaken with the passage of time. You seem to be strong still, take a chance to go home.  I also agree that nothing can compare to the teatment here in the States.  Wishing you all the best. 

Christy76

I'm sorry you're homesick

I can't imagine what you're going through trying to fight this alone. I know it's not the same but you  can at least use programs like Skype to talk to your family back home. I wish I had better advice than that. You have this board of course as well. If you can try not to isolate yourself as that can lead to depression. I admire your strength in dealing with this yourself.