Depression after finishing treatment

grace2017

Just wondering if anyone has experienced a bout of continuing depression following the completion of treatment.  I'm guessing this is fairly common, but if you anything you'd like to share, I'd be happy to hear it.  My husband finished treatment about 8 months ago and while he feels better physically, he still feels depression and discouragement regularly.  He spoke with a counsleor recently who recommended looking into an anti-depressant (an SSRI).  He is reluctant to take any other prescriptions at this point.  The counselor thought that maybe the chemo/radiation may have had some physiological affect on his brain.  He has also had continuous back problems since March and hasn't been able to exercise as he regularly would, so no good endorphins getting going there.  Feel free to PM.  Thanks for reading!

Pclark21st

I am so glad to hear this..

I am so glad to hear this...not glad for you both but glad to see Im not the only one questioning this same thing.  All of a sudden thete seems to be a switch that got flipped.  My bf is so lethargic.  He doesnt want to do anything that he used to do, hes very quick tempered and easily angered.  He could sleep most of the day.   His last tx was March 19th.  He actually did go on an SSRI, Zoloft, and Iam wondering if this is contributing.  Hope we can help them figure this out.  Its hard to watch such a huge change and not know how to help.

momall25ofu

We are all three in the same

We are all three in the same boat.  It is hard to see your loved one suffering and unable to come out of the fog.  A nurse friend sent me some info and it has helped a little in trying to encourage these things: being outdoors has healing power, watching comedy to promote laughter, and trying to be positive in every interaction with the patient.    That can be hard when the patient is your mate who is so depressed that it almost feels like rejection.    I know from reading on here, that when a non-sick companion is saying "Try Harder!", the patient feels like he/she has no support .... so my goal is to work at sympathy and compassion towards where my husband is emotionally.  I do not face what he does, so I can't understand completely, but I can be super supportive, rub his feet, rub his hands, be silently present.   Sometimes the pain I feel over seeing him suffer is smothering ... but we WILL get through this.

wbcgaruss

Tough Time

Well, this is a tough time we are going through when we get these treatments. For many of us, this is the toughest battle we ever endured in our entire lives. We are really beaten up and down and sometimes they practically kill ya you cure ya. So I think many of us if not all of us have had some degree of depression with this at some point I think. But remember they didn't do all this and you didn't go through this to stay depressed or be depressed. Get treatment if necessary, push yourself, push forward, get active a little at a time as you come out of this and recover. Get active, help others, love your family, move forward. This is a long hard process going in and coming out so just be patient it takes awhile but don't quit, don't stop, and never give up you did the battle now reap the benefits.

Dean54

I know all to well

Actually I feel pretty good but still get so depressed some days thinking about never enjoying a meal again or the fact that if and when it will be back. I don't think the 5 years survival rate is all that good for H&N cancers.

Anti-D don't work for me anymore or I'd go back to them but instead, STARTED DRINKING AGAIN. How stupid is that?

Hope you all have better luck with the depression than I do.

wbcgaruss

Dean54 Not

A smart decision as you properly acknowledge. I hesitated several times but have to answer this Dean get off the bottle and fill your life with something else. You beat cancer and got through all the difficult times and treatment I'm confidant you can beat the bottle-God Bless-good luck-Russ

Dean54

Thanks sir

I have beat it several times in the past and so hope I can find the couage to do it again...SOON.

SuzJ

Depression

I posted about this not long ago.

 

I got Cancer. I cried.. for a few hours.

I started fighting

I was exhausted

Kept Fighting

Still exhausted.

Finished treatment

Got serious "Why Me's?" Followed by "why not me?"

Cried because I think my puppy hates me.

Figured I was just a bit depressed so I went to my Dr.

She said "I wondered when you'd crash, you've been so busy fighting abd surviving, you've had no time for you"

So now I have Zoloft. I cant say I feel "better" I don't feel AS bad,  I don't feel as good as I did (even during treatment) I'm just "existing" at the moment - if that makes sense?

I'm not happy, and I'm not sad, I'm just.. here.

I hope it gets better, I need to get back to my Dr and see what to do. She suggested I talk to someone, I'm not good at that. You guys are different, I can talk to you, you know where I'm at. Not many do.

momall25ofu

SuzJ said:

Depression

I posted about this not long ago.

 

I got Cancer. I cried.. for a few hours.

I started fighting

I was exhausted

Kept Fighting

Still exhausted.

Finished treatment

Got serious "Why Me's?" Followed by "why not me?"

Cried because I think my puppy hates me.

Figured I was just a bit depressed so I went to my Dr.

She said "I wondered when you'd crash, you've been so busy fighting abd surviving, you've had no time for you"

So now I have Zoloft. I cant say I feel "better" I don't feel AS bad,  I don't feel as good as I did (even during treatment) I'm just "existing" at the moment - if that makes sense?

I'm not happy, and I'm not sad, I'm just.. here.

I hope it gets better, I need to get back to my Dr and see what to do. She suggested I talk to someone, I'm not good at that. You guys are different, I can talk to you, you know where I'm at. Not many do.

A big hug to you, SuzJ!!

A big hug to you, SuzJ!!

patricke

Depression Happens

Hey Grace, being depressed about the huge change in life that occurs after treatment and recovery is natural, in that we have suffered major loss(s) that need to be acknowledged and grieved, in order to adjust and move forward. As we move forward and are creating and adjusting to our new normal (which continues to evolve over time), we can still get smacked by unexpected consequences that we hadn't encountered before which bring on a bout of sadness.  I remember finally being able to hit the gym again, as a gym rat is want to do, after my laryngectomy and esophagus reconstruction project, and got cold cocked by a crash of sadness that brought me to tears as I became all too aware of what I would never be able to do again.  My left pectoral muscle had been conscripted and rerouted to provide healthy tissue and blood supply to my neck where the radiation had fibrosed the heck out of it.  Yes, I can still flex my neck pectoral, which is a hoot; just ask and I'll pump it for you.  That day I pushed through my sadness, and did a minimal, very light routine, which did feel good by the end of the session, and then I just kept coming back. I gradually accepted that I will never bench the poundage that I used to, which wasn't all that much to begin with, but at least I am still able to lift, which I have done for decades just for the sake of staying healthy and fit.  So, I'm still a gym rat, and hav'in fun, but it was a process to get out of the sadness about not being able to do what I once could, and feeling good about just being able to continue doing what I love to do.  Accepting that we are now different, and have to create a new normal, and most importantly, be happy with it, is an imperative part of the recovery process.  When one experiences ongoing clinical depression, that indeed is the time to see a therapist who has expertise in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is one of the most effective, evidence based therapies available. Even with antidepressants, it is extremely important to have CBT as part of the overall treatment in order to achieve the best outcome.  Oh, by the way, I don't believe that there is any evidence that radiation and chemo have an effect on the brain; that is an issue that I have never heard as being a consequence of the treatments.  As they say, showing up is a big part of succeeding in any challenging endeavor that we take on, so I encourage your husband to show up, and do what ever he is able to do exercise wise, and to do likewise to engage in the other activities that he enjoyed before his battle with the beast.  Let's get those endorphins coursing through his system again.  I have found that recovery takes patience, persistence, and is indeed a marathon, not a sprint, and sometimes you take a couple of steps back, and then spring forward.  Lastly, you may want to refer your husband to my post about Attitude; your call of course.  And, last lastly, really, I promise, tell your husband that I may not know him, but that I do know that he is a victorious beast warrior, and that I believe in him, He Can Do This, so let's rock and roll, and as again, I  am want to say, do what needs to be do'in to Keep It Mov'in Forward.  Well, so much for keeping it short and sweet; I got a bit carried away.......it was the radiation.

Patrick

Curlyn

Hi Grace, My take is that the

Hi Grace, My take is that the literature recognizes depression after treatment ends. We have been through such mental and physical trauma. It's one thing to be alive. It's another to actually feel like we are alive with quality. To go the gym regularly, look fantastic, release feel good endorphins, only to have the shock of our lives- the big 'C'- and then see this new skinny caricature of ourselves looking back from the mirror, is enough to drive the most stable among us mad. Not to mention that body image is everything today, worshipped almost in our society.  And to have constant back problems...well that would be the icing on my crooked cake. Give it time. Seek someone to talk to for your husband. Be supportive. Maybe physio can help c the back and to start light exercise in the process. Good luck, early days yet in my humble opinion. (And I am always surprised when the caregivers seem so together, such an incredibly difficult job!).

saint71

Hi Grace

Hi Grace

I am a caregiver and had to start taking anti depressants.  My husband was diagnosed with cancer and I was crying everyday which is no good to him.  He has the cancer he has to do the treatments and here I am depressed all the time.  It is a tough job because you want to help the one that you love but always feel helpless.  He just started treatments and it is tough on him.  I hope it’s get easier with time but he has to tell the doctors what he feels.  He does not always do that and it is frustrating.  So I get your frustration.  This cancer hit one body however effected 2 people.  My husband‘s family lives overseas so it is me and my family is trying to help as well when they can.  This is a tough battle I understand how you fee.

grace2017

Thank you

Thank you everyone for your kind and generous responses.  I so appreciate you taking the time.  Some days are better than others, but it seems the better ones outnumber the rough ones, so that is a good direction in which to be heading.  The back pain is an ongoing issue which effects what our family is able to do (i.e. go to places where much walking is required, take a trip, etc.), so I know my husband feels he is holding our family back from "normal" experiences.  It has been a challenge, but we are slowly making it.  I think sometimes we try to pretend that this past year has never happened and everything should be the same as it always was, but that is not reality.  Slow and steady progress, and trying to maintain an encouraging attitude!  Thanks again and blessings to you guys.