Want to give up

I have had multiple myeloma for three and one half years.   It was caught very late, despite my going to the doctor about my symptoms for four years.  I have had many treatments including a stem cell transplant.  But, despite the fact that I am now in a remission, I do not feel better.  The treatments damaged my heart, lungs, and kidneys, and the myeloma caused a lot of bone damage that generates constant pain.

My partner of many years has grown away from me and no longer spends any time with me.  I am lonely and miserable with very little quality of life.

I want to go off treatment and die, but I am scared of the process of dying from multiple myeloma. Does anyone know if one can die a peaceful and pain-free death from this disease?  And how to go about it?  I would be grateful for suggestions.

Comments

  • Ripper666
    Ripper666 Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2018 #2
    MM—me too

    Try 6 1/2 years!  Here is what I think about. It is possible I had multiple myeloma 5 to 10 years prior to diagnosis. How did I feel during that time? The answer is, I felt a lot better than I do now! I wemy for that first lab, and then it was off to the oncologist,  and they’ve had me ever since—three chemotherapies, stem cell transplant, I’m in my second relapse (there is no such thing as remission). It’s funny but I was just reading an article today that stated we have a much better chance outside of treatment then in chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery, all very harmful procedures. I’m tired too, and I believe I’m going to tell my oncologist this week I’m done. Just remember this macro – comment. Think about nature and the world and who is the  only creature with consciousness? It’s us. We are freaks of nature, and the human race and consciousness should probably never have happened. I will welcome death and give back  to nature what it gave me—my life. Ripper666

  • Ripper666
    Ripper666 Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2018 #3
    Postscript

    PS  you don’t die from multiple myeloma. You die from one of the infections you get because of your immune system deficiency. And guess what working against that immune system? Been to the clinic lately?

  • acebass
    acebass Member Posts: 4 Member

    Hello,

    I had Stage 3 MM . I had chemo once,got my M Spike down to zero, and am now considered cured. Yes - The side effects of chemo can be awful, but you can reduce them drastically. First - You can have a neurostimulator surgically implanted - it will reduce your bone pain unbelievably. Another thing that works remarkably well is Medical Marajuana - You can get a prescription from a Pain Specialist (you can also get a neurostimulator from the paindoc. After chemo, they said I'd never walk again. I got a neurostimulator and quit the opioids - I was able to walk again and even dance Zumba!!! The MJ will take away the fatigue and pains, letting you get a decent night's sleep. In just a few years, I went from being bed bound to being Principal Bassist in a symphony orchestra and dancing Zumba. The docs really don't know how to help you once you're over the cancer;you have to become your own doctor and do your own research. Don't give up.

    Rob

    www.acebass.com