I got "that" call only an hour ago


My doctor just called to let me know the biopsy from last week's colonoscopy was positive for simple squamous cancer.  His nurse is lining up the colorectal oncologist appointment now.  What can I expect at the first appointment? I thought he was calling to tell me all was fine.  I'm still in shock. My husband and I got back Sunday from celebrating our 25 yr anniversary, I just finished my mid-life crisis- I became an RN.  I'm supposed to take boards this Friday and begin in ICU July 23.  We have 3 kind children, ages 22,18, and 15.  My 18 yr old is a prodigal whom we've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars for her borderline personality disorder residential treatment centers to only have her end up being a stripper in a different state.  My 22 yr old struggles with opioid addiction and is in rehab in Florida and doing great.  My heart has had many heartaches but God has gotten me through and I know He will see me through.  I don't want to tell anyone but I am scared.  I am really scared. 


  • SophDan2
    SophDan2 Member Posts: 150 Member
    Sorry to hear, but don't panic

    Find out what treatment is recommended by the oncologist, research it (here and on your own) and then make the decision that is best for you. You don't have to tell everyone, but do it share the news with those that would want to help you with any support that they could offer.

    You will find this forum to be a wealth of information and friends.

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    edited July 2018 #3


    Do not be afraid!! Cancer can be beat with today's meds.  I was dxed at age 77,  Currently 86.  I;ve been NED (no evedence of disease) 

    for last 8 years.  If an old koot like me can do it, so can you.  Best of luck down your bumpy road!!!

  • Phoenix_66
    Phoenix_66 Member Posts: 118
    Be Strong

    So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis is a scary thing but it sounds like you have faced numerous obstacles in the past and can certainly do so again. Remember, the plans we have for our lives are not necessarily the plans God has for us but He works good in all situations. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,800 Member
    Its your time

    Stress and Cancer go hand in hand. Now is YOUR time to be taken care of.  

    My heart aches for the woes of your children, BUT, as much as you will still be concerned for them (so happy about your 22 year old), you must let them try to take care of themselves, while you take care of you. 

    This may or may not be a wakeup call for them, you never know.  

    Roll with the pain, shock, disbelief, horror, fear and all the other feeling that you are now experiencing.  Don't fight them, feel them. Just don't let them control you. You control them. 

    When I was first diagnosed and starting treatment, my fear of dying almost floored me, especially at night. I wept for my boys, my husband and myslef. It was so bad, I could hardly sleep. I knew I was feeding the Cacner with my worry, so I told myself that I get 10 minutes a day of feeling sorry, crying, anguishing, and then no more.  It worked for me. Find something that works for you. But you MUST lessen the stress you feel for your children and for what lies ahead. It will literally eat you alive.  

    Once you start treatment, whatever road that might take, you will be surprised at how normal life becomes. This, for a time, will be your normal. Treatments, surgery maybe, tests, scans - always tests. Lots of tests & scans -  you will roll with it, and you will laugh and smile and cry and fall flat on your face with side effects, but you will get through it, and SURVIVE. 

    I'm glad you posted strtaight away. Stick with us and we'll stick with you. 


  • Mommy T
    Mommy T Member Posts: 8
    I was also scared, too

    You are stronger than you think. I was not afraid to die but to leave my family behind to deal with life without me. It is okay to cry - I found myself crying at night after everyone was in bed.  My kids are learning from watching me deal with my diagnosis.  They are learning how to deal with life altering situations and how to have faith and hope by just watching me. Let them help you. My relationship with my kids have changed due to my diagnosis. They will all deal with it in their own way but remember, God has a plan.

    Take day by day

    "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand."  Isaiah 41:10

    Hang in there! Try to overcome the fear - less stress is better. I too, realized that I was allowing fear to feed the cancer. We can not stress over things we have no control over. We can't change it! I have had to learn how to "just deal" with it attitude. God's got it! Smile alot and live day to day! I wake up and thank God for another day. I embrassed the thought of fighting cancer and I was determined to fight it and so will you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.




  • betula
    betula Member Posts: 86
    You are strong!

    Wow...you have been through a lot!  You will perserve through this challenge too.  At the beginning of this journey my husbands oncologist told us this treatment would be a marathon, not a sprint.  It has held true.  As you make your way through this marathon, you will find much support here as I have.  Come with questions, vents, etc and the wonderful people here will help!

  • plsletitrain
    plsletitrain Member Posts: 252 Member
    Its natural to be scared. 

    Its natural to be scared.  Just don't let it rule your life.  Compose yourself, think of priorities, and take one day at a time.  It feels so overwhelming at the start but know that dealing with cancer entails your physical and most especially mental and emotional health.  As soon as your doctor will provide you with your treatment plan, you'll start to feel assured.  You've hurdled a lot of challenges in the past so I'm sure this cancer stuff will also be manageable for you.  Good luck.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    edited July 2018 #9

    It's the words that no one wants to hear and it's ok to be fearful.  You will have to probably get a CT scan to see if there are any other areas affected.  I'm sorry that you have to be here but we can help you get through this.  It's going to be a whirlwind of many tests, doctors, and emotions.  Please come back on here and ask away.  We are here to help.  Wishing you well.


  • Mikenh
    Mikenh Member Posts: 777
    Cancer is rough stuff but

    Cancer is rough stuff but survival rates are quite good if there's no spread. You need to have imaging done to determine what stage you are and then treatment plans follow from the staging.

    Staging document:


    Treatment Plans:



  • Joan M
    Joan M Member Posts: 409 Member
    I believe stress can lead to cancer

    So sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  It sounds like you have always been a caretaker and no surprise you chose nursing.  Sorry to hear about the problems with your daughter, I'm sure you did everything you could to help guide her.  It's hard to watch your child make bad choices.  Dealing with all the stress is probably why you got cancer. I pray that it was caught early and you will be cured! 

    Stress did me in too.  I was running my own business, and my husband working full time and trying to start his own busines.  My business had been doing very well and then I had to cut back on my time at work to care for kids.  We had so many problems with children and grandchildren for almost 5 years prior to my diagnosis.  I was caring for my two youngest children, two step children, and two grandchildren.   There were medical problems with some, rebellious and deliquency issues with others, and hubby's ex-wife causing problems.   Way too much happening to go into here. I closed my business because it was making me ill in other ways too:  heart problems, always felt sick to my stomach which I thought was due to nerves, and I was diagnosed with fybromyalgia, arthritis, carpal  tunnel syndrome, bursitis, etc. I just  couldn't do it anymore.  My family life improved dramatically with me at home, and the kids have mostly grown up.  We only have 2 teens left at home. Yes I know adult children can cause alot of stress too.  I've had that as well.    

    Just when I thought I could get back out there and work again,  I woke up with a pain in my side, went to urgent care and then for an ultrasound and was told I had numerous spots in my liver that needed further diagnosis.  The doctor who biopsied said it was colon cancer, which meant it was metastized.  I could not believe it.  I was operating in a fog for awhile.  CT showed spots in my lungs, so I was diagnosed at Stage 4.  The first oncologist I saw said my cancer had started about 3 to 5 years prior to diagnosis - during the time my life was the most stressful.  He said I had 6 to 18 months to live.  Statistics at that time were only 5% chance of surviving 3 years.  I've been fighting cancer for over 2 years now.  Even though the side effects of chemo can be pretty hard, I have survived and my doctors now say I have "many years" left.        

    Many on this site have reached the NED status, and some have been cured.  Many others, like myself are dealing with treatment of a "chronic disease".  At any rate, I wish the best of luck to you in your battle. 


  • Mystimom
    Mystimom Member Posts: 10
    Me too.

    im sorry for your recent discovery. I too have just been diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer with mets to liver, lymph nodes, ovaries, the Works! I spent the entire night last four days feeling blackness all around me. Just watched House Hunters and Chopped all day. I had my first folfoxiri infusion earlier this week and have diarrhea. 

    Well! This was my last day to be in bed. It actually doesn't help. I was complaining about not be able to drink cold water from the chemo affects.... but what about those people who have no fresh running water at all?

    I am fortunate... cancer or not. 

    You are not alone. We can help each other.