just need to talk

debbiel0

I am 7 months out from my last rad (35) and chemo (2..couldn't do the third) I have been reading the posts and realize that I am luckier than some and worse off than others.  I dont feel like a victim, but need to vent!  I have a supporting husband and a circle of friends that try to be upbeat. When can I cry , be angry and just be scared, without having to be the strong one.

 

johnsonbl

I am almost one year out....

In fact, I think I might have started my radiation a year ago Tuesday.  Funny how time passes and dates that I swore I would never forget fade...  I have had scares and concerns...and days where i felt "weird" and wondered if something was up...  I've cried and stressed and been blessed to have a great family to pick me up on those days.

You should be able to vent when you need to...  If you don't feel like you can do that with your inner circle then find someone who you can do that with.  I'm sure your local cancer center can put you in touch with someone who has been in your shoes who will be able to relate to what you've been through.  Otherwise I'm sure people on here would be happy to communicate via email or phone if that's what you are looking for...

 

Brandon

donfoo

Check with the facility that

Check with the facility that treated you to get references to local support groups. 

yensid683

Talking helps

It was 6 years ago this past Friday (3/16) that my tumor was discovered and I can easily relate in having to be strong.  I came home to a teary eyed wife who'd spoken with my ENT and was told how serious my situation was.  She floored me when she said that she didn't think she was going to be strong enough to see me through this.

I adopted a protective role towards her, limiting what I shared with her and as a result I too had no one to really lean on, no one to be able to let go of fears.  Fears of treatment, fears for my life, challenges and needs to just be able to relax, be folded into her arms and feel simple comfort.

It does get better over time. It was more than a year before I was back to what I felt was a normal (or as Matt describes it "abi-normal" in terms of activities. 

I was helped by an organization called SPOHNC - Support for People with Oral Head and Neck Cancer.

Try a web search in your area or as Don suggested, see what support is available through your treatment center.

I have found that there is a lot of help out there, as well as this site.  I would not have made it through without the people on this site,

I'm 6 years out from discovery, I'm doing well and have adapted to the permanent side effects that are part and parcel of surviving the beast. 

Give yourself the time you will need to heal both physically and emotionally.  It will get better!

Peter

Tonita

Who says you have to be

Who says you have to be strong?  You only have to be strong enough for yourself.  Sometimes a good cry is therapeutic.  Have you considered counseling?  If not, maybe you should.  It does help to sort everything out.

SuzJ

I sent my son shopping..

Then went in my bedroom, head under pillow, bawled my eyes out.

 

Still have moments, not so bad now.

debbiel0

SuzJ said:

I sent my son shopping..

Then went in my bedroom, head under pillow, bawled my eyes out.

 

Still have moments, not so bad now.

Thanks everyone. I am feeling

Thanks everyone. I am feeling much better this week! I think a a bit of sunshine and less rain in the last week has really helped!

I was told months ago,  by one of my nurses that, one day I would wake up and not feel sick. I certainly didnt believe her at the time, but today, was that day.

I have had an almost normal day. I say almost because I had enough energy to wash my kitchen floor! And even my old normal self would think that odd.LOL

 

 

caregiver wife

Clean the kitchen floor test...

Now that one made me laugh!  I have used it often.  Some days all I seem to get done is feeding the cats!  I am so glad spring has arrived.  I noted seeing my first pair of robins and waking up to the singing cardinal this past week.

Glad you are feeling better,

Crystal

patricke

WHENEVER YOU WANT TO

Hey Debbie,

You can cry, be angry, and be scared anytime that you want to, but I wouldn't do it while in line at the supermarket.  Your family and friends need to understand that those emotions are a natural part of the impact and recovery of having the battle with the beast, and try to understand the magnitude of the challenges and losses that you are now dealing with.  It is important that you are able to feel comfortable to express those emotions and thoughts, and that they are comfortable hearing them. They don't need to have solutions, or any profound responses (you might want to tell them that), but to just be there to listen and support you; a hug or two wouldn't hurt either.  Whenever anyone deals with amy devestating loss, it is important to be able to share the thoughts and feelings that one experiences in the wake of the event(s) with the folks who we are close to in our lives. The open sharing/verbalizing/venting those thoughts and feelings with family and friends is a very important part of the healing process, enabling us to move on.  I wish you the best on your journey. 

Patrick

Drivingdaisy

Frustrated

I am 2 yrs out from treatment.   Many side effects.  Very Dry mouth with Sodium problems.  Thank you Chemo.  But otherwise aoK. Just get frustrated when it’s late, I’m hungry, but can’t eat any snacks.  Been one of My hardest things to get over.  A Pretzel, chip & dip would be wonderful but No can’t eat that any more.  Just get frustrated when that is all I want.  Hate theses side effects as I take 2 more salt “horse” tabs.   I realize. I am abi-normal now but tired of it.   Hate this Cancer.   Others I know with a different type eat whatever they want & do whatever......don’t realizehow lucky they are & What We go thru.   Just say to Me that sucks.   But really don’t understand. MJust frustrated......I would like to be somewhat normal tho I deal with the demon.   Not even My Family understands.  

debbiel0

Drivingdaisy said:

Frustrated

I am 2 yrs out from treatment.   Many side effects.  Very Dry mouth with Sodium problems.  Thank you Chemo.  But otherwise aoK. Just get frustrated when it’s late, I’m hungry, but can’t eat any snacks.  Been one of My hardest things to get over.  A Pretzel, chip & dip would be wonderful but No can’t eat that any more.  Just get frustrated when that is all I want.  Hate theses side effects as I take 2 more salt “horse” tabs.   I realize. I am abi-normal now but tired of it.   Hate this Cancer.   Others I know with a different type eat whatever they want & do whatever......don’t realizehow lucky they are & What We go thru.   Just say to Me that sucks.   But really don’t understand. MJust frustrated......I would like to be somewhat normal tho I deal with the demon.   Not even My Family understands.  

Hey DD..I hear ya. I am a

Hey DD..I hear ya. I am a peanut addict and it drives me crazy not being able to have not even one!  I have a little saliva coming back but not enough to eat anything that isnt soggy. Frustration is my biggest hurdle.  I was on track to have my PEG tube removed in a couple of weeks and had a major set back this week. Sore throat and not able to swallow. Back on tube feed 100% since tuesday. Looks like its back to square one.  I have to regear my thinking now and look forward to the day I can have a cup of tea again.

I hope you find something to eat that gives you pleasure.