Last two CT scans bad

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KarenMG
KarenMG Member Posts: 109

My scan on November 30 showed quite a bit of increase in growth of what were "tiny" places in my liver. My CEA had started going up also and my Doctor was really flabbergasted. It's been rough since then. Outlook seemed terrible. I posted about having the Y90 treatment directly into my liver, have talked to the radiologist and he seemed very optimistic. That's great!

So I had a repeat CT Tuesday, my Doctor said he was afraid that we might have a tiger by the tail, he was very concerned. So I was freaking out by the time I had the CT done and got to my Dr yesterday. I was boo hooing in the office before he even came in. I ran my sister out, I just didn't want anyone to hear the "death" news.

Much to my surprise, the tumors in my liver had grown some, not a lot. He was afraid that I would have mets all over and be in a really bad situation. So that was a relief! Which means I can go ahead with the whole liver treatment plan, even though that will be no picnic. I haven't started to worry and dread that yet.

So, I had gotten myself so worked up yesterday that I was a complete wreck, just kept crying and couldn't eat at all until way late. The things we do to ourselves!

I still do not have a clear picture of what even having the Y90 and a possible ablation of the liver and a small nodule in my lungs might bring. It seems like the radiologist said 3 months to a year. I know that he does not know but certainly it does make me wonder if 3 procedures with pain and nausea would be worth being around 3-6 extra months. I would have never thought so a couple of years ago...

Sorry if I'm being totally selfish here on this board. There are the angels here that have the ability to do this and encourage others, I just don't seem to be one of them at the moment. I truly appreciate any and all thoughts and prayers here!

Karen

 

 

Comments

  • Woodytele
    Woodytele Member Posts: 163
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    Not selfish

    You are not selfish. We all have these conversations with ourselves, it’s good to get it off your chest.  All this stuff can be overwhelming, doctors, surgeries, terrible drugs. I wonder if it’s all worth it too.  Just try to stay positive. 

  • Northwoodsgirl
    Northwoodsgirl Member Posts: 571
    edited January 2018 #3
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    Decisions

    Karen, I am a visitor from the uterine cancer board. My 88 year old Dad has just been diagnosed with colon cancer. Biopsies not back yet. My heart goes out to you as you decide on treatment and quality of life. You will make the best decision you can based on what is most important to you. I hope that you can get relief from the anguish you are in. It has been 9 years since my surgery, chemo and radiation and there isn’t a day that passes that I don’ t think about and pray for people fighting for their life. Ask your oncologist if there is someone that can better help you make an informed decision about the Y90 and liver ablation? Sometimes health insurance companies have nurses that can help make informed decisions. Peace be with you....

    Lori

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
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    I'm not familiar with what

    I'm not familiar with what Y90 is. All I know is that I'd take every treatment they offered me in case it helps more than expected. Everyone has such different physiology that one never knows what the outcome will be, and neither do the doctors. 

    It's okay to be down sometimes, just don't let it take over youre life. You have to be positive and strong to deal with the crap cancer brings but we all get tired of the fight and have bad days or weeks. I was talking to an acquaintance lest night and she was doing the "you're so strong" stuff with me. I'm not stronger than anyone else, I just do what I have to do. She has to have knee surgery and is scared. I would be, too. Having gone through all this didn't make me tougher. I'm scared of any medical procedure, even needles, and always will be.

    Don't be so hard on yourself. We've all been dealt a pretty crappy hand and are doing the best we can to slog through it. You'll be okay and if you feel down and negative right now that's okay and normal.

    Jan 

  • BRHMichigan
    BRHMichigan Member Posts: 368
    edited January 2018 #5
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    Not selfish at all

    Karen, I am so sorry you've gone through all this anguish the past few months. We all know it in varying degrees. But we also know never to lose hope. Interestingly, no doctors have officially given me a prognosis... Yet. 

    When I read posts such as this, it is actually helpful to me. Gives me an idea of what can happen, and prepares me. You are truly helping others by sharing your terrible experience. I'm just really sad that any of us has to endure all that comes with this disease. 

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,800 Member
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    Selfish, we're all selfish

    but there is 'selfish' and there is 'SELFISH'.  In this case, I don't think you're being either. 

    Well, good news is good news, run with it. 

    I was going to have Y90 but ended up with an ablation. While my situation is very different than yours, with only one liver met to take care of; I am still alive and kicking almost four years later. 

    I do know folks who have had Y90 and passed, and I know folks who post here, who are doing well. They will be along soon, I am sure.  

    I can't speak for the Y90s but I can tell you that the only side effect I have from the ablation (Thermal) is a twinge, where the tumour is now a charcoal ball surrounded in scar tissue. 

    Don't ever, ever not post because you think you're being selfish. There, that told you. - The other day, a friend told me I was bossy. Guess she's right - You post whatever and whenever because we are here to listen and to be there for you. 

    Tru

  • plsletitrain
    plsletitrain Member Posts: 252 Member
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    Try to chin up

    I think its very normal for us to be afraid.  Heck, I'm afraid of even the smallest things.   I salute people who are willing to know of their prognosis.  I don't have that courage.  I also don't want it to rule my life.  Or I'm still in denial that this is happening.

    My advice would be to try anything, from scientific to non-scientific.  All these methods might just bring you hope and even prolong your life and outlive the prognosis.  Last saturday I gained encouragement from my aunt (but we're a religious bunch so this comes with a religious anecdote).  She knew someone who had breast cancer and was given 3 months to live.  Well, she died 20 years later! She survived the breast, ovarian, even brain (which is one tough area) cancer!  She relied to God and pleaded for her to live longer as her kids were still small at the time of diagnosis.  She prayed for her to just see her children finish their studies.  Well, she lived until they graduated! And that's also my prayer.  My kids are also young and I also only plead for longer life.

    What I'm saying is, anything can happen.  Anything may happen.  Nothing's certain.  Only God knows when our time's up.

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
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    Sorry

    Sorry that you didn't get the news you wanted but you aren't being selfish at all.  This board is here to help you get through tough situations and to get answers that have been through the same situation.  Come here anytime to get some comfort and answers.  Wishing you the best.

    Kim