Update on posted on another board but want to post here

Jtchristy

I recently found a few days ago out that bf was told in the beginnng of November that he had 6 months to live.  He told a few close personal friends and family, but not me.  They were told not to tell me. 

We broke up sometime in December and he reached out to me on Xmas, New Years and last week to which I didn't respond (Saying hello and such). 

Now his health status has changed where his chemo treatment has been modified to something more potent for a year; meaning he is not going anywhere in 6 months. 

On Monday he reached out to our mutual friend, saying he loves me, I was the best thing that happened to him, he misses me and wants to get back with me.  She told me that I need to "forgive and forget" and reach out to him in order to get back together.  I told her that I am open for meeting but I am not chasing him down and he knows where to find me. 

I have trust issues to begin with and in a perfect world we would get back together and be happy.  BUT I DO NOT TRUST HIM and without trust I don't think this is going to work since he needs to concentrate on his health and not worry about my trust issues.

I feel if he could tell his close freinds/family he could tell me; even if he wanted to break up I would have understood; tell him that I respected his wishes and I was here for him if he needed.  I would walk out with pride rather then the humilitation he bestowed upon me (Once I bumped into  one of his former coworkers who asked how he was since he was "on his death bed" and I reiterated that he was doing well.  What a fool I must have looked like!!!!)

I am sorry if I sound nasty, but I feel like I deserved the truth!!!

So this is where I stand, trying to move forward.  He has not reached out to me (ALthough he message the freind a few times to see if she spoke to me yet).  I feel bad for him and wish him the best, but I do not think after all of this I can ever get my trust back.  It is a shame since we could of had a great relationship.