Lynch Syndrome and depression

deeper1138

I was diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome at the age of 25 after having discovered a tumor in my colon. It's been 13 years since it was cut from me and I'm still afraid for my life. I eat anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds like candy. I haven't been able to function as a normal person since. I'm a mess of anxiety and emotionally I'm a disaster. I use as much canabis as I can possibly afford to help with the psych med side effects but insurance doesn't cover a plant so I am canabis free as of last weekend. Over the last 13 years I have only been able to keep a job for a few months to a year due to the constant anxiety attacks, lack of sleep and just general fear of life. My Dr's don't seem too interested in me getting better. They sure are quick to give prescripts though. This has lead me to today; I'm unemployed and will be homeless in a few weeks. Do any other survivors out there feel like they are less of a person now? Does anybody out there know what it's like to fear being alive just as much as they fear dying? Is there hope beyond this or am I just going to get swept away and forgotten? Is there somewhere for a survivor to go and get help dealing specifically with diagnosis?

plsletitrain

Please try to distract yourself

Keep yourself busy, either by binge watching movies, or engaging with friends, travel, or just have fun in general.  I know its easier said than done but you can overcome it, you are much stronger than you think.  You control your mind, not cancer, not depression, not your doctors, and not cannabis.  It is YOU who should control your life, and you should tell cancer or unemployement or whatever it is that bothers you that you are much stronger than it and that it will not beat you.  Because YOU are more powerful than these problems.  Problems exist, they will never be gone, but how you control your life is something that rests in your hands and these problems will definitely win if you let it get to you.  

I'm no psychologist and I don't even know if I make sense but I'm trying as much as I can to help you and others who undergo depression.  I hope that by offering my ears, if you want someone to talk to,  I could be of help. You can message me anytime.

BRHMichigan

Stay strong

So sorry to hear about your terrible anxiety. Seems it is more of an issue than the cancer. I was also prescribed some anti anxiety meds but didn't like how they made me feel. Didn't experience any relief from them. Cannabis seems to help me a lot. Shame that it didn't work for you.  

Have you expressed what's going on with a specialist? You may need a good psychiatrist or maybe just an understanding Oncologist who can guide you to exactly what you need to help your situation. If your employer offers a hotline of some sort please call it. I have found working is a nice escape from my health issues. Depression is also a very real illness and hopefully your employer could give you some time to sort this out until you can function properly. 

You are in my prayers. This is not easy to conquer, but we humans can do amazing things when we are determined. Best wishes to you.