Please help,need guidance, advice, opinions, anything

klaadc87 Member Posts: 10

Where to start, this is such a complicated and long story. My mother, my best friend, my absolute everything was given four months to live yesterday with radiation on treatments on brain. The last several years I've watched this women suffer and be put thru hell and she has fought and fought! My mom is 63 years old. In 1991 she has a total hysterectomy for cervical cancer. In 2015 she was diagnosed with anal cancer. She did several rounds of chemo and radiation and was cleared of tumors but the damage the radiation had caused her left her very very sick for about half a year, throwing up constantly and severe stomach pains. Finally in March of 2016 they figured out her intestines had been badly melted and she required surgery to have a temporary colostomy bag. During that operation she developed a blood clot in her leg from her legs being in stirrups for several hours. She laid in the hospital for five days screaming in pain, five days later she is sent to a larger hospital and they have to amputate it, several more complications occur during this time but not relevant to cancer. Finally Nov of 2016 she goes in for surgery to reverse the colostomy bag. After surgery for several days she was short of breath which wasn't normal. They find out she has a collapsed lung and tons of fluid in the other requirng at least three procedures. Thanksgiving we are told that she has stage 3 non small cell lung cancer. She does several rounds of chemo and radiation again. The most aggressive form of both. Aug 2017 we are told the tumors are gone. Thanksgiving of 2017 she falls (she's an amputee remember) so his has happened before. Well this time after she falls she is acting strange so she is taken to urgent care to make sure she didn't hit her head when she fell. The do the scan and tell us she has two brain tumors and would be transferring her to a larger hospital. She is put in icu immediately because of swelling on brain. This is Thursday. On Tuesday she undergoes brain surgery to remove small pieces from the largest tumor to reduce some swelling. We are told there are several tumors. Stage 4. A week after surgery she is sent to a rehabilitation hospital where she spends three weeks. Then to another rehab/nursing facility where she is currently. Yesterday a month and one day after her brain surgery we are told she only has four months to live possibly six but this is with radiation to the brain and it comes with devastating risks. I'm so devastated. I'm not ready for her to go. I'm begging if anybody has any advice any hope anything. I'm begging from the bottom of my heart please help. Thank you for reading,it's long, I know. 


  • Catholic
    Catholic Member Posts: 86
    There is very little advice

    There is very little advice any one can give you.  If anything, its us seeking advice from you on how you have balanced being a
    caregiver and a regular person at the same time.  You sound stressed.  My best advice is to spend time with your mom and try
    to not worry.  Sometimes just being the steady ship during rough waters is the best you can do.

  • TheTerry
    TheTerry Member Posts: 27
    My heart breaks for you

    I'm sorry to say there is no cure for heartbreak. I agree with Catholic - just try to spend time with your mother. You've both been through a lot.

  • sharon rose
    sharon rose Member Posts: 1
    There are no word

    My heart is breaking also for you.  Unless God interveens, I too am losing my best friend, my rock, my mommy.  Just joined this site a few nights ago.  Hoping to find comfort as well.  I do not pretend to know what you are going thru or how you hurt.  Everyones journey down this horrible path is so different.  Just know, you are not alone.  Please know from the bottom of my heart that I will be praying for you and your mom.  My mom said today to me, "Sometimes you just have  to let go"  She wants to go but I too am not ready to let her leave me.  Again, your not alone

    Love, Sharon


  • lorijeannj
    lorijeannj Member Posts: 56 Member
    Prayers for you.

    Prayers for you.

    Can't relate but I have had some miracles in my life the past 6 mos.  From a teenage boy paraylyzed breking his C4 to a man diagnosed with base of tongue cancer.

    Paralysis gone, he is walking.  Cancer in remission for now (hopefully outta here).

    Pray.  I will pray to Jesus for you and your mom.  No more suffering.  Like she let you go when you took your first steps, you may may have to let mom go to take her last breath.  It will be the most difficult time.

    But I do believe in miracles.  I pray you do as well.

  • klaadc87
    klaadc87 Member Posts: 10
    edited February 2018 #6
    She passed away January 17

    She passed away January 17 

    *Edited by CSN Support Staff*