Please help,need guidance, advice, opinions, anything

klaadc87
klaadc87 Member Posts: 10
in Anal Cancer #1

Where to start, this is such a complicated and long story. My mother, my best friend, my absolute everything was given four months to live yesterday with radiation on treatments on brain. The last several years I've watched this women suffer and be put thru hell and she has fought and fought! My mom is 63 years old. In 1991 she has a total hysterectomy for cervical cancer. In 2015 she was diagnosed with anal cancer. She did several rounds of chemo and radiation and was cleared of tumors but the damage the radiation had caused her left her very very sick for about half a year, throwing up constantly and severe stomach pains. Finally in March of 2016 they figured out her intestines had been badly melted and she required surgery to have a temporary colostomy bag. During that operation she developed a blood clot in her leg from her legs being in stirrups for several hours. She laid in the hospital for five days screaming in pain, five days later she is sent to a larger hospital and they have to amputate it, several more complications occur during this time but not relevant to cancer. Finally Nov of 2016 she goes in for surgery to reverse the colostomy bag. After surgery for several days she was short of breath which wasn't normal. They find out she has a collapsed lung and tons of fluid in the other requirng at least three procedures. Thanksgiving we are told that she has stage 3 non small cell lung cancer. She does several rounds of chemo and radiation again. The most aggressive form of both. Aug 2017 we are told the tumors are gone. Thanksgiving of 2017 she falls (she's an amputee remember) so his has happened before. Well this time after she falls she is acting strange so she is taken to urgent care to make sure she didn't hit her head when she fell. The do the scan and tell us she has two brain tumors and would be transferring her to a larger hospital. She is put in icu immediately because of swelling on brain. This is Thursday. On Tuesday she undergoes brain surgery to remove small pieces from the largest tumor to reduce some swelling. We are told there are several tumors. Stage 4. A week after surgery she is sent to a rehabilitation hospital where she spends three weeks. Then to another rehab/nursing facility where she is currently. Yesterday a month and one day after her brain surgery we are told she only has four months to live possibly six but this is with radiation to the brain and it comes with devastating risks. I'm so devastated. I'm not ready for her to go. I'm begging if anybody has any advice any hope anything. I'm begging from the bottom of my heart please help. Thank you for reading,it's long, I know. 

Comments

  • pializ
    pializ Member Posts: 508 Member
    edited December 2017 #2
    Klaadc87

    I am so sorry of your need to reach out to this site for help. I don't have any help or guidance to give you as my experience is very limited . However, it must be of great comfort to your mother that you are by her side on this journey which has had so many cruel twists and turns. whatever the outcome, your love wo last well beyond this journey.

    Best wishes

    Liz

  • Mollymaude
    Mollymaude Member Posts: 431 Member
    #3
    Kladc87

    I am so sorry your mom has had to go through this, and sorry you have had to go through it too. It sounds absolutely horrible. I've been on both sides and sometimes I think it is easier to be the sick one instead of trying to figure out how to help a loved one. You feel so helpless. How is your mom doing mentally? Is she still wanting to fight? Or is she tired and feels like she's had all she can take? I don't have any specific advice about the brain tumors- I assume it is lung cancer spread to brain? My only thought would be to find out if she would be a candidate for some of the new immunotherapy?

    My mom was my best friend too, she passed away in 2014. I miss her every day and I can't imagine not ever getting to a point I wont miss her- but in so many ways she is still my rock. I imagine what she would say in certain situations whether it is something like advice or just something silly. I know she is with me and truly believe she is watching over me. At some point the earthly body cannot hold the soul any longer but the soul survives.

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #4
    klaadc87

    Your mother's certainly been through a lot and what a good child you are to try and help her.  I wish I could offer some suggestions to help her as well, but I'm afraid I don't.  I can understand your feelings of helplessness, having to watch someone you love struggle and not being able to do anything to change the circumstances.  I'm really sorry that you both are going through this.  You obviously love your mother very much.  May God bless you both.

  • caholz33
    caholz33 Member Posts: 45 Member
    #5
    Beyond Anything I experienced

    I had stage II anal cancer and have been NED for 4.5 years.  Reading experiences like yours/you mom's is why I kept positive and in good spirits.  With anal cancer there is predominatly a lot of hope and optimism, just a tough course of treatment.  I wish you both comfort and hope and excellent doctors as you get through a journey that makes mine pale in comparison.  Love and God Bless you Klaadc87

  • Ohmy
    Ohmy Member Posts: 103 Member
    edited January 2018 #6
    My diagnosis and treatment

    My diagnosis and treatment for anal cancer last year gave me a whole new perspective on life and the people I love.  Everyday I share with my husband is a joy and everyday that I am alive is a gift from God.  Live in the moment and enjoy your time with your mother.  As a mother, I can tell you it means a lot to your Mom that you have always been there for her no matter what the future may bring.

  • klaadc87
    klaadc87 Member Posts: 10
    edited February 2018 #7
    She passed away January 17

    She passed away January 17

    *Edited by CSN Support Staff.*

     

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #8
    klaadc87

    I send my deepest condolences to you for the passing of your mother.

  • caholz33
    caholz33 Member Posts: 45 Member
    #9
    klaadc87

    I am so sorry.  Wishing you comfort and peace that you did so much to help your mom on her journey.  

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
    edited February 2018 #10
    klaadc87...

    Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers that you are able to find peace in your place and comfort in the memories of your mother from better days.

    katheryn

  • Mollymaude
    Mollymaude Member Posts: 431 Member
    #11
    Klaadc87

    Im very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • Ohmy
    Ohmy Member Posts: 103 Member
    #12
    I am so sorry for your loss. 

    I am so sorry for your loss.  My mother is in Hospice now so I understand your pain.  I try to think of it as the end of her suffering.  She is 91 one years old.  Mom was there for me through my treatment last year and I am grateful for that.

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