irritated at my sick hubby

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jensweeney
jensweeney Member Posts: 2
in Caregivers #1

I feel awful, my husband has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer, and we're still working out treatment will be. The first response was fear and love - he could do no wrong and I wanted to take care of everything. Already I'm burning out (typical for me to take on too much) and irritated that he's leaving empty gatorade bottles around. We also have 2 young children and I am absolutely SICK with myself that I would be irriated and at my wits end already. We haven't event gotten to the bad stuff yet. Our kids are home on winter break, we have a TON of doctors appointments and I feel like the stuff for me to handle just keeps getting heaped on. Of course I want him to focus on getting well and being healthy, so my **** seem trivial and I feel awful that I'm not better able to handle this. Ugh. I'm the worst.

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  • GingerMay
    GingerMay Member Posts: 134
    #2
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    Understandable

    I too have taken on everything in our lives while my husband focuses on his health. I told him to because I didn't want his energy drained in other ways that would leave him unable to have the strength to get through this awful disease, treatment, doctor appts, etc.  But, yes, the downside is that our plate continues to overflow.  My parents are ill and I could use my husband's support, but I don't bother him with that because he has enough to deal with on his own.  I feel like it leaves me a little bit more alone.    

    I am sorry for what you are dealing with, but it seems like you are doing many good things. I've been here over a year and I can only suggest to practice self-care so you don't burn out. This is mentally and emotionally draining.  People seem to minimize those aspects, but getting enough sleep, exercise and doing things that restore your energy can help.  You can always keep posting here for an understanding community.  Hoping all the best for you and your family.  

  • betula
    betula Member Posts: 86
    #3
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    You are not the worst!

    Please don't say that you are the worst.  You sound like you are handling everything the best that you can and that is all you can expect.  This is hard road especially with chidlren too.  Like Ginger said, care for yourself too and post here.  I found that I could talk to some friends about what I was going through but I don't think you really understand the enormous amount of stress unless you have gone through this yourself.  

    Be kind to yourself!

  • lorijeannj
    lorijeannj Member Posts: 56 Member
    edited January 2018 #4
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    I was overwhelmed with all

    I was overwhelmed with all the appointments at first.  

    My husband's treatment lasted 7 weeks.  5 weeks in I broke down for 10 minutes while my sister was on the phone.  10 minutes of venting bullcrap.  Then right back to it.  24 / 7

    It will get to you, espcially those meds taken around the clock of which I had to open, dump, crush, measure, pour.  You name it.  I gave it to him when needed, no matter 6 pm or 2 am.  And he was on a peg.

    I was able to drive him 5 days a week to radiation and 3 weeks for chemo.  We are very fortunate to live within 3 miles of a cancer center and I was able to do this during lunch.  I would text before I left for lunch to make sure husband was ready.  He was.  We never missed an appointment.

    When those 7 weeks ended, wow, what a relief.  

    You will do it!  Woman can do anything in times of need.  It is only 7/8 weeks out of a lifetime.  

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