How to date?

mwells1004

So I am single and I have cancer from which I will most certainly die, probably sooner rather than later. Nevertheless I am still not ready to hang up the spurs where love and sex and dating are concerned. I'm just not really sure how to go about it.  I would love to hear what you ladies have to say and what your experiences have been. Are there any good places or dating apps out there for people with cancer?

evolo58

But ... how sooner is sooner?

But ... how sooner is sooner? I recently heard from a very good friend who has an advanced-stage colon cancer (also a nasty in terms of percentage), and was given six months to live. He's still alive at two years. I know of someone else with a devastating cancer who was also given six months. She's still plugging at a year. 

So who knows? You could very well live far, far longer than a doctor predicted as well. Right now, I guess we all have to get through a certain timeframe first, whatever that is. One step at a time.

Are there any co-ed cancer survivor groups around you? Maybe it's not hot date material, but it might at least give you some people to talk to, and these people might understand what you've been through. Or they might know some friends.

mwells1004

evolo58 said:

But ... how sooner is sooner?

But ... how sooner is sooner? I recently heard from a very good friend who has an advanced-stage colon cancer (also a nasty in terms of percentage), and was given six months to live. He's still alive at two years. I know of someone else with a devastating cancer who was also given six months. She's still plugging at a year. 

So who knows? You could very well live far, far longer than a doctor predicted as well. Right now, I guess we all have to get through a certain timeframe first, whatever that is. One step at a time.

Are there any co-ed cancer survivor groups around you? Maybe it's not hot date material, but it might at least give you some people to talk to, and these people might understand what you've been through. Or they might know some friends.

Good idea

I like the idea of checking out support groups. I will start looking. I guess part of me feels guilty looking for love while simultaneously selecting an eco friendly casket lol! I get what you are saying though, none of us knows the future for sure.

ckdgedmom

I'm single

I am also single...53 and not ready to give up on love.

Left my ex 6 years ago and had a brief relationship (he was too young) and after that i decided I really wanted to focus on my kids who were 14 and 18 at the time so I pretty much let go of the thought of dating. By the time my son was a senior in high school I realized I was really lonely and ready to meet someone yet all my friends encouraged me to wait and get him off to school and there would be plenty of time for romance...

I sent him to school in August and by November I was diagnosed with cancer...

I've spent the year fighting it and not feeling up to dating but now that I am on the downside of it all and hopefully will hear I am dancing with NED this week I would very much like to meet someone...I tried online previously and it wasn't for me...and I'm not sure how you bring up "oh, by the way, I have cancer...".  I was lucky enough to keep my hair through cold capping and the steroid moon face I developed is gone so I don't look sick at all.  I actually had a surgeon say "wait! I thought you were the patient with cancer!" . I honestly don't know what I would say.

I told my best friend the other day that I don't know how to talk to a man that isnt trying to do something medically to me lol...

Go out there and find some love mwells....we don't know how much time we have and if you feel up to having fun then by all means you should do it and you deserve it.  Don't let what MIGHT happen keep you from living...

just my two cents...

xoxo

Anice

hopeful56

Just had to respond.  I went

Just had to respond.  I went on a "meet" for the first time in a long time this past saturday.  He was a widower as well and in conversation told me he lost his wife to cancer.  I told him that I was diagnosed with uterine cancer, had surgery, and chemo.    it went fine and I had an enjoyable time.  The point is to be able to get out and be "normal."  From my symptoms in May til now I just want to live as normal as I can.  Hoping to meet someone is part of that.

I had to laugh... he said he liked my hairstyle!!! Should I have told him it was a "Raquel Welch?'  lol!

When you feel ready, put your profile out there and I hope you meet someone.

Sandra