When your dying loved one gets angry---what do you do?

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Hello Everyone--Is anyone caring for a loved one who's dying and  become furious over little things? How do you handle it??? My sister had end stage oral cancer. The morphine and dilaudid barely make a dent in her endless pain.Lately, she's been havng outbursts of extreme anger over simple things,like asking if she wants a tissue. Of course, I understand that her anger is coming from her fear,pain and helplessness and I generally apologise to her, for....anything and everything and try to hold it together. But I bawl my eyes out afterwards, feel horrible and I feel angry with her but never say anything.....after all,she's the one in pain and dying. I'm at a loss.

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  • Tonita
    Tonita Member Posts: 197 Member
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    Perhaps you can get hospice

    Perhaps you can get hospice (angels on earth) to step in and assist.  They are trained and end of life situations.  Give it a try.

     

  • Glowgirl
    Glowgirl Member Posts: 16
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    Thanks you for caring,Tonita.Hospice helped enormously when my parents were ill and you're right,they are angels. Unfortunately,due to the type of cancer/tumor my sister has,her doctors haven't been able to establish a definite prognosis{ lifetime expectancy]and other Hospice requiremnets haven't been met.It's complex and would take too long to explain,but again,thank you for listening. Bless you!

  • Tonita
    Tonita Member Posts: 197 Member
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    Glowgirl said:

    Thanks you for caring,Tonita.Hospice helped enormously when my parents were ill and you're right,they are angels. Unfortunately,due to the type of cancer/tumor my sister has,her doctors haven't been able to establish a definite prognosis{ lifetime expectancy]and other Hospice requiremnets haven't been met.It's complex and would take too long to explain,but again,thank you for listening. Bless you!

    Do her doctors have

    Do her doctors have permisssion to discuss her care with you?  If so, I might press the issue so that she can have the right care. 

  • Glowgirl
    Glowgirl Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2017 #5
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    Hi Tonita

    I've discussed this with her doctors, case workers and social workers [from her stays in hospitals and nursing homes] Hospice remains a no-go.The Visiting nurse Service has been coming in for months and they's ve been wonderful. She is trying immunothery as a last resort to shrink the inoperable tumor. Hope things are going well in your life Tonita.

     

     

  • Tonita
    Tonita Member Posts: 197 Member
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    Glowgirl said:

    Hi Tonita

    I've discussed this with her doctors, case workers and social workers [from her stays in hospitals and nursing homes] Hospice remains a no-go.The Visiting nurse Service has been coming in for months and they's ve been wonderful. She is trying immunothery as a last resort to shrink the inoperable tumor. Hope things are going well in your life Tonita.

     

     

    Thanks.  Things are going

    Thanks.  Things are going pretty well.  I wish the best for you sister and you too.