48y stage IV colon
Hi everyone. My husband went to the hospital this Saturday with abdominal pain and after a cat scan they found a mass on his colon, liver and spots on his lungs. they did a biopsy to his liver and we are waiting to get the test results and find out what type of cancer he has. They know it started in the colon and do not want to remove it with surgery for now. We have a 9, 7 and a 4 month old baby. I'm scared and not sure what the future will bring. other than the occasional stomach pain he had no other symptoms of this disease Until Friday night where the stomach aches were keeping him awake. We should have the results of biopsy on Thursday morning but until then my mind cannot stop thinking about the worst. I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard. I feel guilty every time I have to leave the hospital to go take care of my 3 kids. I can't imagine what my husband is thinking right now and how scared he must be. I'm not sure how I'm posting here at 4:07 in the morning but needed to get some sort of support. Thank you for reading my post.
Comments
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I'm very sorry that you have
I'm very sorry that you have to deal with this situation, especially with young kids. Most of the people in this forum either have cancer, have had it or are caregivers for someone that has it.
It's quite shocking to hear that you probably have cancer (I went through this on June 23rd) and it's really tough emotionally on the person that hears it but it's also tough on the family. Thoughts of preparations if you're not around come into your head. At least they did for me. And then you discuss treatment options with your doctor(s) to get a plan to get rid of the cancer. Or live with it. My perspective as a husband is that my family be taken care of and I've been dealing with a lot of the treatment stuff alone (along with all of the helpful and nice people here). I'm sure that he's aware how much work it is to take care of young children and that this may occupy a lot of your spare resources.
The locations that they found it in sounds like colon cancer that has spread as the the liver and lungs are the places that it typically spreads to. But they would be the same kind of cancer so the treatments, at least as far as chemo goes, would be the same. There's a fair amount of testing that has to be done (maybe a lot of it has been done), and then his oncology team has to come up with a plan. It will likely be unpleasant to some degree but the goal is to save his life. There are those here that have had colon cancer with spread to another part of their body that have survived.
This is a place of support and a place to ask questions. You're both going to have to wait for test results and he may have to go for additional tests.
The recommendation to look for the best resources you can find is a good one. Local hospitals may not have the expertise levels that specialized cancer hospitals have. It may be worth getting a second opininon at a top hospital for cancer.
We have recently had adults in their 20s and 30s with cancer and hopefully they will chime in on what they went through.
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At this moment in our journey
At this moment in our journey, my wife was just diagnosed, with a bad colon cancer as it turned out. We began cimetidine and high powered supplements immediately that gave her an unusual immune reaction that killed much of her metastates in very bad locations in the weeks before her initial surgery and chemo. A great start for WW III.
She had the most common variants of highly fatal markers, in CEA and CA19-9. She has required two surgeries and mild oral chemo, but she is alive and doing well when ALL of her doctors when thought she would be a goner years ago. Specific supplements and generic drugs make her chemo work, not merely better AND reduce the side effects greatly. She could not even stay on chemo long term without a number of her supplements and they are affordable (we shop around).
Success starts with taking the right extra steps, as well as the right surgeries and chemo. Surgeries and chemo are NOT the same everywhere and the differences are important. We got free advice from the Life Extension Foundaiton's cancer articles and via telephone, ditto the Riodan clinic. WE choose technical options rather than accept "standard" local preferences of doctors that haven't read their own literataure.
Before surgery, we got heavy duty supplements and cimetidine. We also got some extra blood tests. We check several extra cancer markers (CEA, CA19-9 and AFP frequently now; more rare: CA125, CA15-3, CA242, CA72-4 initially, occasionally, or once) and make sure our frequent chemistry included ESR, PT/INR, hsCRP, LDH. We get 25 hydroxy vitamin D initially and occasionly because many stage 4 patients are grossly vitamin D deficient and it is a big problem; she was highly vitamin D deficient. "Standard" cattle class medicine often skimps on bloodwork or argues, I pay the extra without a second thought - success is what counts.
http://www.lifeextension.com/protocols/cancer/chemotherapy/Page-01
http://www.lifeextension.com/protocols/cancer/cancer-adjuvant-therapy/Page-01
http://www.lifeextension.com/protocols/cancer/colorectal/Page-03
http://www.lifeextension.com/Magazine/2009/12/Preventing-Surgery-Induced-Cancer-Metastasis/Page-01
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Interesting readingtanstaafl said:At this moment in our journey
At this moment in our journey, my wife was just diagnosed, with a bad colon cancer as it turned out. We began cimetidine and high powered supplements immediately that gave her an unusual immune reaction that killed much of her metastates in very bad locations in the weeks before her initial surgery and chemo. A great start for WW III.
She had the most common variants of highly fatal markers, in CEA and CA19-9. She has required two surgeries and mild oral chemo, but she is alive and doing well when ALL of her doctors when thought she would be a goner years ago. Specific supplements and generic drugs make her chemo work, not merely better AND reduce the side effects greatly. She could not even stay on chemo long term without a number of her supplements and they are affordable (we shop around).
Success starts with taking the right extra steps, as well as the right surgeries and chemo. Surgeries and chemo are NOT the same everywhere and the differences are important. We got free advice from the Life Extension Foundaiton's cancer articles and via telephone, ditto the Riodan clinic. WE choose technical options rather than accept "standard" local preferences of doctors that haven't read their own literataure.
Before surgery, we got heavy duty supplements and cimetidine. We also got some extra blood tests. We check several extra cancer markers (CEA, CA19-9 and AFP frequently now; more rare: CA125, CA15-3, CA242, CA72-4 initially, occasionally, or once) and make sure our frequent chemistry included ESR, PT/INR, hsCRP, LDH. We get 25 hydroxy vitamin D initially and occasionly because many stage 4 patients are grossly vitamin D deficient and it is a big problem; she was highly vitamin D deficient. "Standard" cattle class medicine often skimps on bloodwork or argues, I pay the extra without a second thought - success is what counts.
http://www.lifeextension.com/protocols/cancer/chemotherapy/Page-01
http://www.lifeextension.com/protocols/cancer/cancer-adjuvant-therapy/Page-01
http://www.lifeextension.com/protocols/cancer/colorectal/Page-03
http://www.lifeextension.com/Magazine/2009/12/Preventing-Surgery-Induced-Cancer-Metastasis/Page-01
Thanks for posting the links Tanstaafl, I hadn't come across that article yet. MCP is a new one for me, so now I have something new to research.
Much appreciated!
Thomas
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Take care of the kids
I am very sorry that your husband and you have to deal with the cards that have been dealt. One day at a time; don't let your imagination get you down. I agree with NHMike, your husband knows and will greatly appreciate your being strong for your children, as they look to you for comfort during this difficult time. I was diagnosed back in April 2017 and I am mid-stream in my treatment, after I had surgery in May. Your emotions will be all of the place until you have the answers that you need (Stage?, Treatment? etc...).
I have found the people on this site to be very supportive and willing to share their knowledge and experiences.
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I can remember it with
I can remember it with painful clarity everytime I read a new blog story, the shock and quiet terror that takes over and keeps whispering the worst in your ear. I'm sorry JoBelo, but you've joined a good place to vent and learn what steps to take to fight this thing that threatens your family and peace. The biopsy will help in choosing the best approach to fighting back. One day at a time now needs to become a mantra, living in the moment served us well, my wife and I. When I felt strong I read and studied what I could, skipping prognosis odds and five-year charts, they aren't very current or useful. When we felt scared we did little fun, normal things, with the family, or just the two of us. You'll find your way to cope. As Tanstaafl suggests, starting into proactive changes, with the docs okay, will at least make you feel a little more in control of what's going on, and may help the fight. New normal, is a common expression here, and you'll adapt to yours, find something that burns the tension, folks here have all kinds of ways to achieve a calmness, for me it was just work, exercise, and occasional xanax, but to each their own. One more thing if you don't know, click on our blog names, most have written their story done, and many are inspiring, and something you and your man should read..........................Dave
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New normal
For me, exercise, mediation, Buddhist philosophy.
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So sorry. This is very
So sorry. This is very similiar to my story. Dx Stage 4 colon at 47 with mets to liver. 4 thoracic surgeries, chemo, liver , colon surgeries, embolisms, scans, tests, and especially waiting.... but here I am 11 years later... You can read my posts but there is hope. Be aggressive if you can. This means surgery, if possible. Get to a cancer hospital you like even if it is hard. My wife stayed at home with our two kids while I was often at Stanford. Friends drove me or I drove if I could or I stayed overnight. Eliminate as much stress as possible. Take care of yourself as there is lots of sympathy for the patient but you are the caregiver that matters. I taught and coached throughout the time but did have to make changes... eat well, consider an antidepressant if the emotional rollar coaster is too much. There are many on here who do not post often who have made it beyond 5 years. I knew them then and know that they are doing well now. There is hope. Every case is different and what I say may not work for you. I only speak for myself. The randomness of cancer is really tough. Fall down 7, stand up 8.
Lots of love
Chip
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Be good to yourself
It is OK to be overwhelmed. We often feel guilty, like we should be thinking 'it happens to others' 'It happens all the time'. Well, thats all well and good, but right now it is happeneing to you and your loved ones, and you can and will feel like your world is collapsing around you. There is a time to be strong, and there is a time to cry and let the horror of it all wash over you. The key is not to let it get out of control.
Be good to yourself.
Soon you will find what is going to be a new normal. Life revolving around treatments, surgeries, appointments, side effects. Find a place for them, but find a place for yourself, for your children and for your husband.
You will find that once a plan is set and is put in action, that some of the horror subsides, or finds a back burner. Your husband will be doing something to get rid of this Cancer. Moving forward. Fighting the fight. It feels good to be doing something, even if that something is unpleasant.
Great people on this forum. Visit often. We have answers.
Tru
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