Been a while

kikz
kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member

Hello everyone.  I joined this board in June of 2010.  I received a lot of support and met many wonderful ladies.  I also have endured the pain of seeing most of them pass.  The only name I recognize is Tethys41.  I mostly post on Facebook on a couple of pages dedicated to ovarian cancer.

I was diagnosed with Stage IIIc ovarian cancer on March 16, 2010.  I've had two recurrences and am currently going through my fourth treatment for the second recurrence.  I have not been able to get to remission because my body will not tolerate the number of infusions necessary to potentially get there.  So we blast it for a while, then take a break, then blast it again when it starts wreaking havoc.

I am 69, 62 at diagnosis.  So my golden years are not as golden as I imagined they'd be.  But I am going to fight this thing as long as I can.

This year has been particularly difficult because my mom passed on March 24.  We lived together but even at 92 she was a comfort and help to me.  Then on May 4 my cousin who was like a sister to me passed suddenly.  My cousin and I were only 11 days apart so we were always part of each other's lives.  Within six weeks I lost two of the most important people in my life.  I'm dealing with it, it's a struggle and I cry every day.

Anyway I just thought I'd check in.  I wish you all the best.

Karen 

Comments

  • bettyboop3917
    bettyboop3917 Member Posts: 45
    Kikz

    Hi Kikz. Wow you are dealing with a lot. I am dealing with a recurrences and know it can be very hard on you. It sounds like your a fighter and that is a good thing when dealing with all you are.  Sending you warm thoughts and hugs. 

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,352 Member
    Oh Karen, I am so sorry.

    Oh Karen, I am so sorry.  Have a good cry and get it out, and more importantly, be kind to yourself.  Since I have joined I have seen us lose a lot of good women, and all the loved ones who we lose not from cancer, and it is always sad.  Hugs dear one.

  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    Sorry Kikz

    So many losses for you.  No wonder you are thinking of the losses we have witnessed here.  I hope things become rosier for you.  I love your profile picture with the drink in your hand.  It looks like you are having such a good time.  It's hard to imagine that you are experiencing such a dark phase in your life right now.  We always think the rough times will last forever, but they don't.  There's always light around the next corner.  I hope you turn that corner soon. 

  • Julie's Sister
    Julie's Sister Member Posts: 18 Member
    edited July 2017 #5
    Sorry

    Oh Karen,  I am so so sorry about the lose of your mother and cousin.  No matter how sick or how old, we are never ready to give up those we love.  Treasure the memories. There are lots of women who will give you support on the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund Alliance site.  Go to www.inspire.com 

  • JoWin615
    JoWin615 Member Posts: 150 Member
    I remember...

    I, too, haven't checked in here in a long time. I joined this board in March of 2011 - right after I was diagnosed (lllC). At first, I found the site to be too much of a downer, so I stayed away for about a year. When I came back, I felt better about dealing with this disease, and I was able to get some really informative advice from a lot of friendly people.

    Karen, you were one of these! I think you were just finishing up your first taxol/carbo series, and you were SO glad to be done with it. If I remember right, didn't you release some teal balloons into the air, symbolizing saying bye-bye to ovarian cancer? Well, there have been a few bumps in the road since then, but... here we are! I enjoy your posts on Facebook, and mourned your recent losses. Your wonderful cat will help you deal with anything that comes your way!

    Best to you,

    Jo

  • lindaovcn2009
    lindaovcn2009 Member Posts: 2
    Almost parallel paths/ I haven't been here in a very long time

    Kitz, our journey's are very similar.  I am now 69, I was diagnosed in August 2009 with ovarian cancer lllc, a year earlier than you, at age 61.   Again in 2011 and I was just diagnosed with metasisized cancer of the spleen and the lining of my stomach, so I will be going through my 3rd chemo soon. Like you, I lost my biggest cheerleader, my Mom 3 & 1/2 years ago and 2 of my best friends 2 & 3 years ago to pancreatic cancer and the other did not survive a bone marrow transplant.   I was just diagnosed in April with metastatic cancer of the spleen and the lining of my stomach.   I have lots of support and I will fight this as hard as I am able. My Mom often said that the golden years were not for sissies!  I just wanted to let you know that coming here is probably just what we need right now.  I will be looking for posts from you.  Best of luck, stay strong!  hugs    

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,352 Member
    Miss linda, I am a visitor

    Miss linda, I am a visitor from the Uterine board.  All of the women on the below the belt cancer pages are such an inspiration to me.  I pray they find a cure for us all.  Hugs.

  • azgrandma
    azgrandma Member Posts: 609 Member
    I am still here also

    I am sorry you are going through so much right now and sorry you lost yoru Mother. I am here if you need to talk

    Lynda

  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    edited August 2017 #10
    Thank you all for your kind

    Thank you all for your kind words.  The picture was taken at one of my younger cousin's wedding in September 2014.  I actually started chemo for the fourth time the following month.

    Yes Jo, we did release teal balloons with our teal bracelets tied to them when I finished treatment in 2010.  I cried and was yelling, "don't come back."  

    Karen 

  • kikz_son
    kikz_son Member Posts: 1
    My dear mother "kikz" has passed on...

    I am writing this with a very heavy heart, but my mother who you all know as Karen or "kikz" passed away on Saturday.  She was a gentle soul with a kind heart and the best mother I could ever hope for. She made a beautiful home for me and I will miss her dearly. This last month her health steadily declined. I was with her throughout the ups and downs. First thinking she was going to pull through and then down again. It was very hard. I can't begin to tell you what my mother meant to me, but for those of you who have had a connection to her I'm sure you understand. I've read some of her past posts and it seems she outlived many who she had met on this site since she first joined almost 8 years ago. I would like to thank all of you who have been a support to my mother through the years, whether it be laughing with her or being there for emotional support. These cancer battles are always hard for the entire family and I'm so happy that she had another refuge of support through the years. She spoke about each one of you glowingly at some point and she very much appreciated it. I also hope her kind words and strength uplifted you in your time of need as well.  I will be posting information on her facebook about services. Thank you once again and God bless every one of you.

  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    My Condolensces

    I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing.  I only knew her here, but she seemed like such a wonderful soul.  My thoughts are with you and your family. 

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,352 Member
    kikz_son said:

    My dear mother "kikz" has passed on...

    I am writing this with a very heavy heart, but my mother who you all know as Karen or "kikz" passed away on Saturday.  She was a gentle soul with a kind heart and the best mother I could ever hope for. She made a beautiful home for me and I will miss her dearly. This last month her health steadily declined. I was with her throughout the ups and downs. First thinking she was going to pull through and then down again. It was very hard. I can't begin to tell you what my mother meant to me, but for those of you who have had a connection to her I'm sure you understand. I've read some of her past posts and it seems she outlived many who she had met on this site since she first joined almost 8 years ago. I would like to thank all of you who have been a support to my mother through the years, whether it be laughing with her or being there for emotional support. These cancer battles are always hard for the entire family and I'm so happy that she had another refuge of support through the years. She spoke about each one of you glowingly at some point and she very much appreciated it. I also hope her kind words and strength uplifted you in your time of need as well.  I will be posting information on her facebook about services. Thank you once again and God bless every one of you.

    kikz_son, thank you for

    kikz_son, thank you for coming, in all your pain, to let us know about your dear mother.  It is clear she was a wonderful mother from the way you speak of her and reach out to strangers.  My heart breaks for you and your entire family is in my prayers.  I pray you find peace and remember the joy you shared. 

  • derMaus
    derMaus Member Posts: 558 Member
    I'm a visitor from the

    I'm a visitor from the uterine board who always enjoyed your mother's perspective. Thank you for letting us know that her struggle is over, although I wish it was otherwise. She will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  • evolo58
    evolo58 Member Posts: 293 Member
    Another visitor from the

    Another visitor from the uterine board ... I am so sorry for your loss. She was such a wonderful lady.