First new topic post - awaiting official diagnosis.

dogfather

I had a biopsy last week and an MRI yesterday but I already know what they will reveal because I can feel it. Tongue, throat, voice box, neck nodes both sides. it is affecting my eating, speech and breathing with rapid progression. Whatever that blood test is that shows cancer level in your body - mine is totally sky high.  I don't think they're going to tell me it is a fever that a shot can cure. If I hadn't smoked and drank like a merchant sailor for 40 years I might kid myself that this would clear up but I know I won't be walking this one off. 

I know they are never supposed to indicate results or any emotion but the MRI Tech was so overly kind to me on the way out, I knew that even he knew how bad it is.  I know, I know, many people will say I am not a doctor and can't possibly know but I have 54 years of experience living in this tortured mind and body and I know we are on the way down. 

After reading so many stories, I will be refusing treatment.  I will not go under the knife and have my tongue cut out, I will not accept chemotherapy which is simply poison and kills more people than it cures, I will not take radiation to fry my mouth and throat and cause unimaginable agony. I am no longer young and I can neither survive nor even afford weeks in the ICU. I have been intubated once and that experience alone was so terrible I will never do it again. 

I am not looking for sympathy or encouragement, I am just interested in thoughts from other people who may be going through or have gone through the same and may have thoughts to share.

soonermom

Something to think about

My husband had the same reaction.  His ENT who is also a friend, asked him to at least go to the Cancer Center and talk to the them about the consequences of those choices.  As he explained it to us, making that decision if you have other cancers is not the same as making it when you have head and neck cancer.  He just asked us to keep an open mind and discuss what might give my husband the best chance to have a comfortable and joyful time in the future.  We did.  You can refuse any treatment you want, so don't feel backed in a corner but please have a frank conversation with a professional team that specialzes in heand and neck cancer.  I am sorry for your situation and wish you the best on your journey.  It is a hard road no matter what choices you make but information gives you power to make the best choices, once you know what your situation actually is.  

caregiver wife

Treatment vs No Treatment

"I am just interested in thoughts from other people who may be going through or have gone through the same and may have thoughts to share."

One of our dearest, lifelong friends refused to seek diagnosis for, or treatment of, throat cancer.  It was not an easy process our friend, and loved ones, endured before death came.

My husband, too, said he would not have surgery that took his voice, jaw, or tongue.  This was moot, as his cancer was too advanced for a surgical intervention.  Having recently having endured open heart surgery, he was not considered a strong enough for aggressive chemo therapy either.  He was given Erbitux (a cell growth inhibitor, not chemo) and aggressive radiation.  He was in remission 5 years.  He had chemo once every 3 weeks when his cancer returned, for about 6 months.  He is now in remission.  He is in his 70's now.  All through treatment, and still, quite active. 

We have seen both sides of treatment vs no treatment.  The treatment, by far, was the easier choice.  I would strongly suggest you speaking to doctors about options before making your choice.

If you decide you wish further discussion, with either choice, please let me know.

Wishing you the very best

 

CivilMatt

tough choice

dogfather,

It sounds like you have given up early.  You have also let your feelings about surgery, radiation and chemotherapy predetermine their worth in fighting cancer.  It is a tough battle, some lose and some come out with a very bright future with many good years to go.  If you scan these threads, there are many H&N members with families and young children and the option to check out early is way down on their list.

I hope for you the best and the knowledge to seek out what help you may need.

Matt

soonermom

soonermom said:

Something to think about

My husband had the same reaction.  His ENT who is also a friend, asked him to at least go to the Cancer Center and talk to the them about the consequences of those choices.  As he explained it to us, making that decision if you have other cancers is not the same as making it when you have head and neck cancer.  He just asked us to keep an open mind and discuss what might give my husband the best chance to have a comfortable and joyful time in the future.  We did.  You can refuse any treatment you want, so don't feel backed in a corner but please have a frank conversation with a professional team that specialzes in heand and neck cancer.  I am sorry for your situation and wish you the best on your journey.  It is a hard road no matter what choices you make but information gives you power to make the best choices, once you know what your situation actually is.  

Option

By the way, much as others have said, my husband ended up opting for treatment but that was his choice based on solid information not on his preconceptions of many things.  There is no harm in hearing what a good treatment team might tell you.  As I said, the final choice is up to you.  He also was not a surgical candidate at that point.

Noellesmom

I hear you

My husband's alcohol consumption and tobacco use led to stage 4 cancer at age 52.  Had chemo and radiation.  No surgery was possible.

He is still here 7 years later. 

See what they say is your diagnosis and let us know. Time enough then for reaching a decision.