Worried Daughter


Hi I am new to all this and worried about my dad. 


 My dad has a very large tumor 7.8 cm( squamous cell carcinoma) in his sinuses and it has spread to around his optic nerve and in some of the bone in his face. Since being diagnosed 4 weeks ago he has lost his vision and his teeth. We have had to go in several times for unexpected appointments. No one is really telling me what to expect. They said he is in the low 1/3% of this treatment working. (scary enough there) Anyways one of the appointments was because of his vision going in and out. They put him on steroids to see if that would save his vision. They thought that he was having a chemo flair on the tumor. He was 100% blind in that eye the next day.
(which as I stated above he did end up loosing his vision.) He had his third treatment of chemo on Monday. At that appointment we were told to slowing decrease from 4 times a day to 3 to 2. Now he has a bad cough and said he just feels really bad. He hasnt had too many side effects from chemo other then a little nauseous and always tired. He is slowly loosing weight still. 

I guess my question is has anyone dealt with something like this. This cancer has seemed to grow really fast really quickly.

Also as a care giver for someone with cancer how do you get the doctors to answer your questions when your loved one doesnt want to hear or ask questions. My dad lies to them because he wants to think that this will go away tomorrow.


  • caregiver wife
    caregiver wife Member Posts: 234
    for Worried Daughter

    Sorry you are here and in such a difficult situation.

    Firstly, I would tell you that the doctors appear to be addressing your father's situation the best that they can.  It appears that your father has invited you to come to his appointments with him.  If you have a concern that something  specific is not being addressed at the appt, ask.

    It also appears to be too early to tell how your father will respond to his treatment.  With a new diagnosis, there is so much to obsorb. 

    From another sister caregiver, remember to take care  of yourself.  Take one day at a time.  Do what you can.  The hardest part can be the unknown, which we just have to wait and see what happens.  You also appear to be doing all that you can to help your father get treatment.  You have found this wonderful board for support and answers.




  • Engelsa
    Engelsa Member Posts: 50
    I agree with the words of wisdom from Caregiver Wife

    There are no wrong questions. The doctors want to provide care and answer questions. Each patient responds to treatment differently. This is why doctors cannot provide guarantees. 

    Treatments for H&N cancers are getting better every day. Your doctors want success for all of their patients. 

    Help your father navigate the hurdles throughout treatment. Always be honest with your doctors and nurses regarding symptoms. There is so much they can do to help the patient. I wish your father the very best outcome in his treatment.

    Remember to care for yourself as well.