Just looking for some good vibes

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nspired36
nspired36 Member Posts: 80

Hi All,

Whew, ALOT has happened in just one week. Had a biopsy on Monday, on Tuesday positive diagnosis of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with one positive node. Thursday, found out my tumor was 4cm and talk about a ton of stuff. It has all been completely overwhelming and scary. I have cried non-stop and really am just looking for support. I have alot of family support, but eventhough they love me and are concerned, they really can't understand how I feel.

Right now, I have more questions than answers. I have my MRI next Tuesday and I meet with my oncologist of Wednesday. I do know that the possible treatment options terrify me.

Thanks and Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

 

 

Comments

  • Beepositive
    Beepositive Member Posts: 259 Member
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    hang in there Nspired36!!

    hello Nspired36...sorry you are here..but it will be ok we all have to find our "new Normal"but ask your doctors lots of questions and find out all your options.. below is my first posting that I attached for you to read..I updated some of the notes so you can see you are not alone:   God Bless and prayers going up for you.  BEEPOSITIVE... SEE MY STORY BELOW FROM MY FIRST POST ON THIS SITE.

    I call myself BEEpositive and found out I had cancer just a couple months ago! It was like running into a BRICK WALL..on day I going along and then all of a sudden ..life changed!!! it took me a couple of days to myself to wrap my head around it.. i found out Jan 17, 2017 after imaging and a Biopsy that  I requested because of a mass that the mammography did not seem to mention. I have always had dense breast tissue but the one in my left breast seemed different especially since the outside shape of the breast started looking different than the right breast! It was there 6 months ago during my last mamo but doctors say mamo does not pick up everything especially "Invasive Lobular carcinoma  good receptors postive  HER2-Neg(it appears as a mass and branches out instead of a lump)

    so in january my process started completed MRI  Feb completed CT chest scan , pelv scan and bone body scan prior to any surgery. All showed no signs of cancer in those areas ..Thank GOD.

    a few weeks ago I had my left breast total mastectomy and started plastic surgery steps at same time Mentor brest tissue Expander. the pathology report showed majority of the lymth nodes had cancer that were removed during surgery.

    currently I am seeing plastic surgeon and started brest tissue expander to start eppanding my breast tissue to prepare for the implant later.(completed fills in April now doing radiation  final implants will be done after body heals about 6 months from now)

    working with medical oncology to start best Anti horomone bills (currently taking Letrozole) so far so good!

    and and have appoint to discuss and schedule radiation treatment. ( currently on 3rd week radiation)

    the doctors are not as positive as i am about everything. to me I feel very blessed to have demanded additional testing and found the cancer in the breast other wise i would have gone another  year without another mamo!

    I am still in moderate pain but I am going to go thru this with my head held HIGH and count my blessings!

    I am not going to spend my life thinking when..if cancer could come back..thats not living!

    I am a very Positive person and have always and will continue to be the one who helps others...thats my motivation and healing!

    BEEPositive!!

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    edited May 2017 #3
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    IN hind sight a journal

    IN hind sight a journal helped me-I thought it was goofy (NO pun Intended) while writing in it-but now 9 yr later i look back at it, on occasion. MUCH I forgot about -though then it seemed awful.

     

    Good thoughts, pixie dust and hugs on your way.

    Denise

  • nspired36
    nspired36 Member Posts: 80
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    hang in there Nspired36!!

    hello Nspired36...sorry you are here..but it will be ok we all have to find our "new Normal"but ask your doctors lots of questions and find out all your options.. below is my first posting that I attached for you to read..I updated some of the notes so you can see you are not alone:   God Bless and prayers going up for you.  BEEPOSITIVE... SEE MY STORY BELOW FROM MY FIRST POST ON THIS SITE.

    I call myself BEEpositive and found out I had cancer just a couple months ago! It was like running into a BRICK WALL..on day I going along and then all of a sudden ..life changed!!! it took me a couple of days to myself to wrap my head around it.. i found out Jan 17, 2017 after imaging and a Biopsy that  I requested because of a mass that the mammography did not seem to mention. I have always had dense breast tissue but the one in my left breast seemed different especially since the outside shape of the breast started looking different than the right breast! It was there 6 months ago during my last mamo but doctors say mamo does not pick up everything especially "Invasive Lobular carcinoma  good receptors postive  HER2-Neg(it appears as a mass and branches out instead of a lump)

    so in january my process started completed MRI  Feb completed CT chest scan , pelv scan and bone body scan prior to any surgery. All showed no signs of cancer in those areas ..Thank GOD.

    a few weeks ago I had my left breast total mastectomy and started plastic surgery steps at same time Mentor brest tissue Expander. the pathology report showed majority of the lymth nodes had cancer that were removed during surgery.

    currently I am seeing plastic surgeon and started brest tissue expander to start eppanding my breast tissue to prepare for the implant later.(completed fills in April now doing radiation  final implants will be done after body heals about 6 months from now)

    working with medical oncology to start best Anti horomone bills (currently taking Letrozole) so far so good!

    and and have appoint to discuss and schedule radiation treatment. ( currently on 3rd week radiation)

    the doctors are not as positive as i am about everything. to me I feel very blessed to have demanded additional testing and found the cancer in the breast other wise i would have gone another  year without another mamo!

    I am still in moderate pain but I am going to go thru this with my head held HIGH and count my blessings!

    I am not going to spend my life thinking when..if cancer could come back..thats not living!

    I am a very Positive person and have always and will continue to be the one who helps others...thats my motivation and healing!

    BEEPositive!!

    Thank You

    Thank you for sharing. It was reasuring to read.

  • nspired36
    nspired36 Member Posts: 80
    edited May 2017 #5
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    Thanks

    I will give it a try. Journaling has helped me through other rough times in my life

  • peony
    peony Member Posts: 306 Member
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    If you can, take someone with

    If you can, take someone with you to appointments.  It's a lot of info to take in and terms you've never heard.  Ask questions about anything you're unsure of and don't hesitate to speak up if you're uncertain or don't understand procedures, results, drugs & meds., or anything at all.  It's your body and your life and you're going to have make a few decisions about your care.  Be as informed as possible.  
    Best wishes.

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
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    Nspired

    Hi,  I am right with you. I was also just diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma a few weeks ago. Things do happen fast and there is much to learn. It turns out that my biopsy showed that I was triple positive for Estorgen, Progesterone and Her2neu. I just had the lumpectomy yesterday with excision of lymph node. Now, I wait 7 days so they can determine if they have to go back in. My first suggestion is that you find the very best cancer hosptial you can go to. I am lucky to live near Boston and there are 2 great choices there. It matters. Most top hospitals will tell you that most of the time, mastectomies are not warranted and they save the breast and the nipple as much as possible. Except in rare cases, mastectomy is not recommended because there is no difference in survival or recurrence. I hope that takes some of the fear away for you, it did for me. My breast looks ok right now after having the tumor out. They saved the nipple and the incision is small. Having an excellent surgeon really matters. i feel pretty good right now only 48 hrs. Post surgery. i went grocery shopping, to the bank, and even cleaned my house a little. Now, I will probably have to get through a year of chemo, I haven't decided yet. 

    It is ok to cry and let it all out. i cried for a few days. Once you wrap your head around it, I know you will get strong and get ready to fight. One small step at a time. I am right there with you in the path to be cancer free! 

    I have read journal articles, books, and spoken to several people in the past 2 weeks. Now, I feel almost ready to make big decisions about chemo and radiation. There is lots of support available fro breast cancer and you need to take advantage of it!

    I am sending you prayers for strength, peace, and complete healing!!!!

  • nspired36
    nspired36 Member Posts: 80
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    peony said:

    If you can, take someone with

    If you can, take someone with you to appointments.  It's a lot of info to take in and terms you've never heard.  Ask questions about anything you're unsure of and don't hesitate to speak up if you're uncertain or don't understand procedures, results, drugs & meds., or anything at all.  It's your body and your life and you're going to have make a few decisions about your care.  Be as informed as possible.  
    Best wishes.

     My mom has been coming with

     My mom has been coming with me,  she is the strongest person I know.  I pull strenghth from her.  I have always been a huge advocacate for myself.  I know I would have to be my biggest advocate, motivator and cheerleader. Thanks for the advice, its greatly appreciated!

  • nspired36
    nspired36 Member Posts: 80
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    Thanks

    I appreciate you sharing your story, it gives me hope that there is some light ahead.  Right now everything seems dark and hopeless.  I know that will change ounce i get more info.  Not knowing all the details is kinda hard.

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
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    nspired36 said:

    Thanks

    I appreciate you sharing your story, it gives me hope that there is some light ahead.  Right now everything seems dark and hopeless.  I know that will change ounce i get more info.  Not knowing all the details is kinda hard.

    Nspire

    It is very scary, for sure. For me, reading as much as I could took some of the fear away. Do you live near an excellent hospital? Get on their website and start reading. The very first thing is to decide where you are going to go for treatment. Once you have some confidence in that, you will feel a little better because you will know you are in good hands.

  • nspired36
    nspired36 Member Posts: 80
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    I live in Mpls, Mn

    I'm going to research hospitals close to me.  The Mayo Hosputal is about an hour from me,  I heard they are one of the top hosputals in the country. I forsure do my research. The internet scared me a bit,  do you know good,  reliable and factual resorces?

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
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    Nspired

    Great news that you are 1 hour away from Mayo! That is a fantastic hospital. if you go there, you will be in very good hands and get the best care.   If you go on their website, look up their cancer center and breast cancer and if you start reading, you may feel empowered. With cancer, we have to take one step after another towards the cure. Here is a link to hospital ratings for each cancer. I used to do medical negligence cases and I can tell you that the hospital really matters when it comes to outcomes! http://health.usnews.com/best-hospitals/rankings/cancer

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
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  • nspired36
    nspired36 Member Posts: 80
    edited May 2017 #14
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    Thanks

    I agree the place you choose to go to for care is very important! Thanks for the info

  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    edited May 2017 #15
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    There are a lot of good hospitals.

    I wish I would have been able to go to Mayo Clinic.  My insurance wouldn't cover it at the time.  We are originally from Wisconsin and most of my relitives went to Mayo who set up the program and worked with University of Wisconsin med center in Madison for the treatments.

    I just wanted to say, unless your smiley and/or friends have experienced cancer themselves, they don't understand.  Then when you finish the treatments, they think you will be the same as before the cancer.  It was hard for me at first, but thanks to this. Lard, I learned a lot about the reality.  Unfortunatel, right now I am stage iv,  and have 3 brothers with stage iv (2 for sure, 1 goes to onco and gets upset with the doctors), and a sister a year older than me just finished treatment last year for stage 1  breast cancer.  Lost my oldest brother at 53 to bladder cancer.  So we have a recessed gene, 2 with small cell Lymphoma and one of those also has lukemia, one with lung and 2 breast. 

    I was the 2nd at 42, and they didn't understand how I felt.  Even now on hospice, friends have asked why I gave up?  Didn't give up, after 15 years my body has warn out.  Some will call and say so and so bad bc and they are cured, or if I change my diet, or start hiking or join a gym....  It is in my brain, bones, lungs, etc.  I now laugh, they just don't get it, and I have a sense of humor which helps.

    You will most likely lose some of your old friends and make some new ones.  My mom was also my pillar of strength all my life. Unfortunately, I was the 11th of 12. kids, so she was no longer here, but showed amazing strength all my lie that we all still carry with us, and now having a sister who had it, she understands when I say how I feel and I understand What she has been through.

    I wish you the best and remember, the majority do not relapse.  Because you are on a cancer support group website it may seem like there are a lot, it it is only 30% and treatment  is so much more advanced than even 15 years ago.

    Wish you the best, and keep a sense of humor! You will hear some pretty out there remarks. They don't know what to say and some just ramble and say whatever is in their brain without a filter.  I have had to walk away because I have started laughing, then compose myself and sometimes educate, other times can't because I know they mean well and don't want to hurt feelings!

    I wish you the best.

     Carol

  • Apaugh
    Apaugh Member Posts: 850 Member
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    Close to a Mayo

    If I were close to a Mayo, I would be there in a heartbeat. 

    Hugs,

    Annie

  • nspired36
    nspired36 Member Posts: 80
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    I called Mayo today to get

    I called Mayo today to get things set up. It's an hour from my house but I don't care if it was 3 hours I would drive it back and forth everyday because I know I'm going to get the best care possible so I'm pretty sure I'll be switching over to the Mayo Clinic as soon as I can

  • HapB
    HapB Member Posts: 527
    edited May 2017 #18
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    Nspired

    i am so glad for you that you live so close to Mayo!  An hour is not too far to drive for the peace of mind that you will have, knowing you have the best care and best chance to wellness!  You are on your way!!!!