Am I doing the right thing?

Thiggy

Hi all,

This is my first post here. I've been reading the forums for a week or so. I was told I have a mass in my left kidney on 4/28/17. I'm scheduled for an open radical nephrectomy on 5/11. Heres my dilemna....my son is just 2 weeks into basic training in the army. I've decided not to tell him anything until he graduates. I know if I tell him he will want to quit and come home. With all the emotions and uncertainty of the diagnosis this is the thing that weighs on me the most. Am I doing the right thing?

Noellesmom

Hard call

I probably would not tell my son. Just one more thing for you to worry about.

There is no one right answer.

Thiggy

Noellesmom said:

Hard call

I probably would not tell my son. Just one more thing for you to worry about.

There is no one right answer.

Thank you, I'm not good with

Thank you, I'm not good with indecision lol

Kidney_Cancer_Kid

Bless you and your son

Thiggy,

All I can say is that you two will be in my thoughts and prayers.  I have no answers.

Kidney_Cancer_Kid

JerzyGrrl

By now...

You're no doubt post-nephrectomy and wondering if anyone thought to get the license plate number of the truck that hit you. The first day is The Worst. The second day is not particularly fun, but better. Rest up, walk (it helps the pain, honest, 'cause you want to work the carbon dioxide out of your system), take it easy. You'll feel better and better each day. Your son hearing from you right after surgery and your trying to sound "normal" might be a tough sale, so I hope you have a few days to get back in shape for your next chat.

And afterwards... You both can have a good laugh about the differences and similarities between basic and a neph. To get you started: drugs and bendy-straws vs a weird haircut and close order drill; new / different clothes, at times feeling as though you're fixin' to die (even though you aren't), realizing this is life-changing but this chapter won't last as long as you think (It gets better). 

All the best to you both. Keep us posted as you're able.

Thiggy

Thank you for the well wishes

Thank you for the well wishes. Surgery went well.  Tony the tumor was 8cm. I have to wait until Friday for the pathology.  the pain hasn't been bad at all so for,  but the epidural comes out this morning.  

JerzyGrrl

Thiggy said:

Thank you for the well wishes

Thank you for the well wishes. Surgery went well.  Tony the tumor was 8cm. I have to wait until Friday for the pathology.  the pain hasn't been bad at all so for,  but the epidural comes out this morning.  

That's good to hear

That's good to hear. Hope the pain is getting managed OK. You should be past the hospital "red jello" by now (I understand that's the flavor -- red). I don't eat the stuff, so I missed out. I've always wanted to get a tee-shirt that says "I'm Just Here for the Red Jello," but it's (hopefully) not something I'd wear very often (Less often that a Christmas sweater even), so I've put that off so far. 

Have you been checking out the posts on the kidney forum? There is some great stuff there, a great group of folks.  Having RCC (renal cell carcinoma) doesn't mean you're a goner like it once did (Hmmm, I remember when I was little, no matter what sort of cancer you had, you pretty much were a goner -- not sure why we called them the "good old days"). Sometimes just the surgery does the trick, sometimes additional follow-up treatments are needed, but there are great ways to monitor your status afterwards nowadays, too.  Most RCCs are slow enough moving that periodic monitoring catches anything that might show up afterwards when it's still quite small. 

All the best --

Thiggy

JerzyGrrl said:

That's good to hear

That's good to hear. Hope the pain is getting managed OK. You should be past the hospital "red jello" by now (I understand that's the flavor -- red). I don't eat the stuff, so I missed out. I've always wanted to get a tee-shirt that says "I'm Just Here for the Red Jello," but it's (hopefully) not something I'd wear very often (Less often that a Christmas sweater even), so I've put that off so far. 

Have you been checking out the posts on the kidney forum? There is some great stuff there, a great group of folks.  Having RCC (renal cell carcinoma) doesn't mean you're a goner like it once did (Hmmm, I remember when I was little, no matter what sort of cancer you had, you pretty much were a goner -- not sure why we called them the "good old days"). Sometimes just the surgery does the trick, sometimes additional follow-up treatments are needed, but there are great ways to monitor your status afterwards nowadays, too.  Most RCCs are slow enough moving that periodic monitoring catches anything that might show up afterwards when it's still quite small. 

All the best --

I have been reading the

I have been reading the kidney board but I haven't posted there yet. My fiance and I have decided to get orange ribbon tattoos once I heal enough.  I am cautiously optimistic but it will be a long week waiting on the pathology report.  My surgeon told me that he didn't see anything else. He said "I looked at your liver and other kidney since I was in the neighborhood ". Fortunately my kidney function has been good through all this.  I'm home with no dietary restrictions so life is good. I quit smoking on 5/7 and the coughing is  painful but it serves as a reminder of the damage smoking has done to my body over the years. 

JerzyGrrl

Thiggy said:

I have been reading the

I have been reading the kidney board but I haven't posted there yet. My fiance and I have decided to get orange ribbon tattoos once I heal enough.  I am cautiously optimistic but it will be a long week waiting on the pathology report.  My surgeon told me that he didn't see anything else. He said "I looked at your liver and other kidney since I was in the neighborhood ". Fortunately my kidney function has been good through all this.  I'm home with no dietary restrictions so life is good. I quit smoking on 5/7 and the coughing is  painful but it serves as a reminder of the damage smoking has done to my body over the years. 

Coughing - !

Coughing, no matter what the reason, still feels better to hug a very firm pillow. I have a smallish memory foam lower lumbar pillow that's really too firm for leaning against in regular instances, but it sure makes for a great hug-when-coughing pull pillow.

Congrats on stopping smoking. It's a tough thing to do. 

Kiesmuse

Am I doing the right thing?

As a parent, that is the first thing that will come to our my mind because we might think that we could mess with our children's dream if we tell them things like that. But as our children, they ought to know. When are going to tell them? When is it already too late? I hope this could help.

Ladylacy

Kidney Cancer

My son had one of his kidneys removed due to cancer 9 years ago and has been cancer free.  He had no further treatment.  He was told his cancer was contained in the kidney and had not spread.   He was only 40 at the time and had never smoked and rarely drank.  Yes he worries every time he has to go the doctor but so far so good. 

Wishing you the same.