Bad Weekend

SuzJ

So on Sunday I declared to whover could hear (son and dog) that this thing wasn't keeping me prisoner, and that I was going to Lowes, for a few brackets, hanging baskets, and  flowers.

Go to Lowes, saw my friend, started feeling a bit rough, then rougher, I'm not sure think I passed out on the patio furniture a few times...

 

Ended up with my son driving to Lowes, my friends son and gf driving to Lowes, all to get me, my car, and my wounded pride home.

 

Slept, oh did I sleep.. from getting home to getting up this morning for labs/fluids.

 

3 things came back  ~ ok I lie, lots came back bad, but createnine was solidly red and high, Um  anaemic, and Potassium, potassium hit crital low. which involved another EKG. Magnessium.. kinda endless list..

So yea, lesson learned, until I beat this thing, I am a prisoner.

MMDowns

Passing out still...hmm what

Passing out still...hmm what does the dr. say about this?  I really hope that you talk to your oncologist about your creatinine levels and reducing the chemo. Kidneys are not something to mess with (I am sure you know this...)  Be your advocate and push for answers and another game plan.  It is OK to ask for reduced chemo, and to be soldily aware of your kidney function. My husband had his last two chemo's lowered because his kidneys are UBER sensitive to the chemo.  This last one was maybe not gonna happen but she lowered it even more.  Something is better than nothing. Hang in there.  Lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way!

AnotherSurvivor

Your job until post is to

Your job until post is to sleep, rest, get treatment, eat if you can, sleep, rest, eat if you can.  You have about 3 weeks left, right?  This is usually the tough spell, so I would just get through it.  Your blood chem right now is about all they have to identify problems.  Sounds like kicking up infusion frequency would use up any free time, allow you to get to know some pretty special people in the infusion center, give them the opportunity to have extra hours of eyes-on.  

SuzJ

I have,.. um..

12 rads, and 1 1/2 cycles of chemo to survive. - and I really mean survive.

all I do is sleep, all I want to do is "get horizonatal"

Engelsa

Do what you need right now

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I am praying for you and sending positive thoughts your way. Just get through today........try not to get overwhelmed with thoughts about the rest. Today only......right here, right now.

rsp

Career?

Hi SuzJ,

I am so sorry you are going through such difficult times.  I am my husband's caregiver, and all I can say is that he also has "his days" that are not so great.  I constantly have to tell him to "sit down and rest" or "stop doing that" when I can tell it is just too much for him.  If you don't have a caregiver who can be your "logistic manager" when you need it, I think you need to ere on the side of "safety" while going down this road.

Also, I have to tell you that your writing is very "unique", and I enjoy the "voice" you give to your writing.  Are you a writer by trade?  I am a retired English teacher, and your written words through this challenging time are filled with wit.  

Maybe you should journal your journey and write a book about it!

phrannie51

The only true prison is your mind....

Whoever said that, didn't have to go through Head and Neck cancer treatment.  However, your mind can allow you to be free-er at the times of day when you aren't horizontal (horizontal is a GOOD THING, I might add).  Plan a trip for after treatment....like 4 or 5 weeks after.  Look at possible destinations, check out a few things you might like to do while at said destination (don't go overboard)....This isn't a day dream, it's a reward for slugging it out everyday for 6 to 8 weeks....and it gives a person something to look forward to....something to get better for.  Remember it's not a "mission"....you do this while you're feeling ok to be up with your laptop, or pad....you have all the time in the world to get this done.

p

 

SuzJ

Thank You everyone

Thank You for the encouragement, because right now, I'm at my wits end, end of rope, however you want to say it. I'm rethinking the feeding tobe, because even though, I can get "some" food down, liquids is not happening. I don't want it, but..... I can't live on infusions.. (or can I?)

I have my son as my caregiver, he's 25, this was a HUGE thing to put on him. He has his own issues and can't grocery shop to save his life... but we are muddling through.

Phrannie, the thought that I'll feel like doing anything 4 - 5 weeks after gives me hope right there!

 

rsp, I think you are picking up on my English upbringing, my Engllish wit, and my Emergency medicine "black side" I'm the one with the smart, sarky answers, who's never without an reply

 

Although I love my son dearly, I would have loved a caregiver like the people I see here. If Mum was still alive, My dad said she'd have been here, making sure I was ok, every day. Mum was a Nurse, and she knew the answers to everything. I so miss that. I lost her 2 years ago, to Lung Cancer. To be honest, I'm glad she's not here to see me go through this.

AnotherSurvivor

Well fine, be grumpy, but I

Well fine, be grumpy, but I started treatment at 220 lbs and this morning weighed 181 lbs, the same as I have for the last four months.  Upping food consumption has had no impact on my weight, and I've restarted my exercise program and my weight is going to stay at 181.  Long term, you're signed on for the single most effective weight loss program that is legal, and medically monitored at that.  It just has a few problems they're still working out.

MMDowns

SuzJ said:

Thank You everyone

Thank You for the encouragement, because right now, I'm at my wits end, end of rope, however you want to say it. I'm rethinking the feeding tobe, because even though, I can get "some" food down, liquids is not happening. I don't want it, but..... I can't live on infusions.. (or can I?)

I have my son as my caregiver, he's 25, this was a HUGE thing to put on him. He has his own issues and can't grocery shop to save his life... but we are muddling through.

Phrannie, the thought that I'll feel like doing anything 4 - 5 weeks after gives me hope right there!

 

rsp, I think you are picking up on my English upbringing, my Engllish wit, and my Emergency medicine "black side" I'm the one with the smart, sarky answers, who's never without an reply

 

Although I love my son dearly, I would have loved a caregiver like the people I see here. If Mum was still alive, My dad said she'd have been here, making sure I was ok, every day. Mum was a Nurse, and she knew the answers to everything. I so miss that. I lost her 2 years ago, to Lung Cancer. To be honest, I'm glad she's not here to see me go through this.

Oh SuzJ... I would lend you

Oh SuzJ... I would lend you my Mum (by the by, love that...Mum) so much more elegant that Mom.    If money were no obstacle I would send her to you and the funny this is, she would go in a heartbeat.  That's just the lovely being that she is.  I am sorry this has been such a s***storm for you.  I am.  Sleep the days away. If that is what gets your through then do so.  Any friends that could help out your son?  Thinking about you and sending all kinds of positive vibes your way.  

Chicklette

AnotherSurvivor said:

Well fine, be grumpy, but I

Well fine, be grumpy, but I started treatment at 220 lbs and this morning weighed 181 lbs, the same as I have for the last four months.  Upping food consumption has had no impact on my weight, and I've restarted my exercise program and my weight is going to stay at 181.  Long term, you're signed on for the single most effective weight loss program that is legal, and medically monitored at that.  It just has a few problems they're still working out.

Weight loss program

M husband has been trying to lose weight for years.  I told him it's now guaranteed!  He weighed in at almost 260 yesterday and was not happy.  But, he has been eating everything he wants for the past few weeks.  Treatment starts on May 8th and I am sure the weight loss will follow close behind that.  His primary care doctor joked with him about that.  Hey, you have to find humor even in the darkest of places.

SuzJ

In trouble

Another 10 at weigh in today ~ my act of defiance on Sunday has definately sobered me.

Still lots of fluids, 2 - 3 bags plus whatever extra, and omg could they make those potassium pills any bigger?

mskitty137

SuzJ, My hubby says the

SuzJ, My hubby says the potassium pills were created in hell by the devil's pharmacist. 

SuzJ

I think the day has come

long awaited by many!!!

My voice has all but gone ~ and I can hear my son cheering (not really, but you get the Picture)

What with that and the tinititus, Im in a world of my own

 

Dr - hows the pain

me - it only hurts if I swallow..

I dreamt last night, of tea, and foods that would never go down in a million years.. Oh it was a good dream...

AnotherSurvivor

It does come to an end.

It does come to an end.  Another two weekends maybe?   Many weeks post now, I look back and wonder how 7 weeks could be so long.  You're still actually in better shape than I was at 5-6 weeks, and I'm in pretty good shape post now, so hang in.  I won't tell you what I had for breakfast, but it was cooked, plentiful, balanced, and especially healthful  (which means NO nutrition shakes).  And you will be headed to that breakfast soon enough.