Clear CT Scan Results
Hi everyone. On Saturday I had my 6 month CT scans. I heard from my oncologist today. Everything was clear. No signs of anything unusual. I am feeling very blessed tonight. I am now 1 year passed the scans that found my 3rd round of colon cancer. It has been a long 5 1/2 years. I know you all understand the ups and downs of cancer tests and outcomes. I am thinking that it will never get easier. I find that a couple weeks before tests, I stop sleeping and begin to fixate on nothing but the possible outcome. Both good and not so good. I think I sort of drive everyone around me a bit nuts. Everyone keeps telling me to stop worrying it will be fine. But I have had 3 times in the last 5 1/2 years when it wasn't fine, so I tend to get more than a bit anxious. My friends and family have gone through this with me for so long I think they don't realize they are tending to placate me. I honestly get a bit angry and frustrated when they give me that pat answer without listening to my concerns. It makes me feel like my support system is there but not really there. I know I am probably over reacting, but it can be so frustrating. Any of you ever feel this way? Sadly, those of us surviving cancer are in the club for life. However long that may be. Those who share our lives are part of it. In the case of many of us, we have regular tests, blood work, treatments and surgeries followed by more tests and bloodwork. It can really wear everyone down after awhile. I have had a few friends drop out of my life. It is just to much for them to deal with.
Anyway, I have a few more months now to be grateful for life. I can regroup and refocus again until the next tests. I am so grateful. It might be time to plan another adventure.
Blessings to all....
MAlice
Comments
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Congratulations!
Well deserved!
And yes, I understand how you feel about your support group. It is very hard for them to understand the fear, which is constant, though not always obvious. They see that you look well, and that you can go out and about, and that you're not doing chemo and that must mean that all is well. They think you are cured. It won't change.
TRU
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Congratulations!
It's great to hear you've been cancer free for a year. I too have had my ups and downs over the last 9 1/2 years. I still get "scan anxiety" and can be rather bitchy at times if I'm worried about the outcome. I will say it's gotten better with time but I still get tears in my eyes every time the doctor says everything is fine. I hope you're able to find someone to listen when you're worried as talking it through helps.
Anyway, go have fun celebrate and definitely plan that next adventure! Traci
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Congratulations! It's quite a
Congratulations! It's quite a ride butt clean scans are on top. Hope for many more for you!
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Bless you. You're not
Bless you. You're not overeacting. Im fine until a few days before my scan. its a feeling people don't understand i don't think unless they are going through it. You're not alone. And I'm glad I found some people who feel the same way I do. It helps me immensely. Good luck, God bless and plan that next adventure!
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That is Why
i only told a very few select family members and friends. Until I had my surgery two weeks ago, my adult children who live out of town, had no idea what was going on here. My in town daughter knew, two close friends, and another out of town friend were the only ones that knew about the scans, MRIs, blood tests, and the actual surgery I've had this past month. I did tell them I was anemic and tests were being done to determine the cause. Since then, I've told just my children who don't live here. I'm 74 years old and felt that if I told everyone the phone calls would start, questions asked, and really, what could I tell them? It would just make me more anxious.
People are well meaning, but otherwise are uncomfortable with facts pertaining to illness. It's very hard to hear them say that things will be okay, especially if in the past they were not, they do not know what else to say. Malice, I wish you all the best and I hope your future brings you nothing but continued good health and happines.
Linda
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