My boyfriend pushing away and goes on Grindr

Hey, guys!

Theres a little something i wanted to share with you and ask your opinion.

We have met with this guy about 2 months ago, have spent 5 amazing days together and then he left, as he lives in another city.

Since that moment every single day we were in touch, had long Facetime converstaions, lots of messages,we were sharing our daily life moments and emotions and became very very close. We also agreed to meet as i would come and visit him, but unfortunately my visa got rejected and im not able to visit him and be there for him in person. 

But since that moment we found out i wont be able to come and visit him, he has changed. He started pushing me away, started ignoring my messages and calls, so it does feel like we are loosing each other. Im not trying to ask anything or to argue, i just swallow my pride and try to act as if nothing has happened. He got really sad and frustrated after i told him about the visa issue.

I also know when he doesnt talk/reply to me he goes on Grindr and apparently chatting to someone else. And to be honest this is the main concern i have. I know patients going through cancer do push others away, but the fact he is on Grindr pisses me off.

First after we found out my visa got rejected we also agreed to meet somewhere else, where we could stay together for a few days. He first liked the idea and we started making a plan. But now.....he just doesnt want to talk, and sometimes replies with very "empty" messages.

The fact he had a cancer was ON since very beginning. Since the first moment i found out i was showing my support and was there for him when he was in the hospital on chemo, when he was going to the appointments with doctors ecc.

I do not know what to do, as it hurts me. I want to be there for him, i want to help him. 

Has anyone experienced something lke that before? 




  • Martha_Boone
    Martha_Boone Member Posts: 6
    edited May 2017 #2
    Hello Serdas83,

    Hello Serdas83,

    I can't say that I have experienced this before, since I am not really all that familiar with most of these dating apps. However, I will say that in your situation it seems like clear, open and honest conversation will help. I think that as long as you let him know how much you care about him and you want to make things work you have done your best. I also want to point out that I understand the jealousy you might feel when he talks to other people on grindr, but it is a part of life and something you should comes to terms with, especially if you are not in a long term committed relationship

  • michdavidadams
    michdavidadams Member Posts: 2
    Not the guy for you, probably

    Are you in a relationship, or is your goal to eventually be in one? First, have a talk to him. Tell him how you feel. If that doesn't work, and if he ignores your complaint about him talking to other guys on Grindr, then if I were you, I would just end whatever you have with him. Even if you aren't in a relationship with him yet, he shouldn't be talking to other guys. If he was serious about you, he wouldn't need to see other guys. From what you've told us, it seems like you're there for him, but he isn't there for you.