New Here: My Mom has Laryngeal Cancer (she is my world)

Hello Everyone, 

I am new here. I am 21 years old and my Mom was diagnosed with Stage III Laryngeal cancer in November 2016. It is HPV positive and only one small nearby lymph node is involved. She has a good prognosis (about 75%-80%) and an 80% chance of getting her voice back completely. Even though all of those numbers seem positive, this has definitely been the hardest thing she and I have ever had to go through. She is a single Mom and I am currently at college. I decided to not take this semester off, because I know that staying in school and getting my degree will help both her and I in the future. She has amazing friends and a significant other that take her to appointments and feeds her, but I feel like I should be doing it all. I feel so bad asking others to take care of her, when she is my Mom and my world. She has completed 31/35 radiation treatments and has had cisplatin once a week as well. She was hospitalized for pneumonia 2 weeks ago. I happened to be coming back home for college for the weekend when I got the call that she was crashing. They admitted her into the ICU and after one day she was back with us and okay. We stayed overnight for four days and then they released her and said they'd never seen anyone recover from acute respiratory failure, two types of pneumonia and hypotension that quickly. She is so strong and such a fighter. Since we are almost done with treatment, I can't help but worry about it recurring. I keep thinking that we are almost done with this nightmare, but then remember that it could come back. I was wondering if anyone could offer advice about the time inbetween the end of treatment and the first scan to see if it is gone. Thank you all so much. Best wishes, college


  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,698 Member


    Welcome to the H&N forum, sorry about your Mother, we could all live a life time without this crap.

    If her team feels good about her prognosis, so should she and so should you.  There is no getting around the feelings of doubt, but with (good) time under her (your) belt the fear lessens.  If the mental anguish becomes a hindrance to wellbeing, you can visit medication to help.

    The healing is a slow process and seems to take forever, but it does happen and generally to the up side.

    It is good that your Mom has so much support from friends and family.  You are lucky to have such a team.


  • AnotherSurvivor
    AnotherSurvivor Member Posts: 383 Member
    edited February 2017 #3
    For what it's worth, yours is

    For what it's worth, yours is a very familiar story, told by many here, and you're both likely to come thru this to a good future.   I just completed treatment for the same cancer, including hospitalizations.  Having my children visit, but not hang around was wonderful.  But I also did not want them focused on my life to the sacrifice of theirs.  It gets better.  It takes longer than you want, but every day is better than yesterday, and I have plans for tomorrow.

    Your mother is lucky, and probably very proud of you.  That helps her more than you can imagine.


  • joannaw81
    joannaw81 Member Posts: 185 Member
    hello there

    Your story sounds very familiar to mine. My mom also fought cancer- for approx. 2.5 years since 2010. She is my world as well. Even though we have a quite large family I felt that I was the only one besides her going through this nightmare. I guess the people who are the closest to those affected are also affected more. My mom's cancer came back twice, imagine? We went through it and on 3/2/17 it will be her 5 year anniversady-cancer free. I must tell you that what got my mom though all of it was positive thinking and the support of others. Yes there was lots of times of anger, crying, sadness, and dissapointment however I never lost hope that she will be ok. You do the same. Be there for her. She will be ok. It is your decision to take a semester off or not. It can help in one way as you will keep busy and you will not let cancer take over your lives or in another way you may not be able to concentrate and istead of learing you will be thinking of why you are not with her. Follow your heart and you will know what to do. Good luck to you both, keep us posted .

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    Hello and welcome to our

    little home away from home. 

    My mom was diagnosed with laryngeal cancer, too....this was way back in 1999.  I remember the day she announced that she was 5 years out of treatment.  Recurrence is always a worry, but as time passes you'll be able to put that on the back burner.  Good luck to you and your mama.


  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
    Ok...  I'm a survivor of

    Ok...  I'm a survivor of melanoma and anal cancer.  just had biopsy and a lesion removed from my tongue.  Now for the Mom part....  my beautiful daughter feels the same way you do....  she feels as if she should be here to take care of me.  (We live 800 miles apart). I NEED for her to live her life....  for her to be happy.  Call me often, visit me when I'm in Houston,  much closer and I will stay a weekend.  But assure me that you can care for yourself and be happy no matter what happens.  Because I love her.  And she loves me.  Hugs

  • candyshapiro
    candyshapiro Member Posts: 16
    edited March 2017 #7
    I am a breast cancer survivor

    I am a breast cancer survivor of 16 years and had a child in college willing to come home and I said no. It was the right decision. My oldest was nearby and came for my first round of chemo only for the first few days and was amazing. His job allowed for caring for a parent who was ill. Well now it is throat cancer tonsillar with base of tongue involved and my youngest who stayed at college is now attending to me. If it does not disrupt their liffe and even to help for a weekend it is healthy for all involved. The long term emotional benefit can't be measured.