Stage 4 update

tasha_111

I havn't been on here in a long time, a lot to deal with.  I caught pheumonia over Christmas and had a relapse in the new year, doc's gave me a very poor prognosis (won't make it til Christmas/New year etc.)   I am still here tho, but things have changed a lot, I am having some very strange thoughts and hallucinations about people who have no business being in my brain at all, people I havn't thought about in years, people who I never knew, people who died ,  even animals.  A surgeon friend says it could be because I overheated my brain whilst in delirium through the pneumonia.  Anyone else had this?

Also I am now in a hospital bed downstairs and dependant on a walker and a wheelchair and a pain pump.

I don't feel that my time is up yet but does anyone?   I just wanted to give an update as some of you were asking about me.  

Thank you all J xxxxx

cati0314

Thank you for the update

Tasha, I so admire your strength and courage.  Prayers for better days!  

peony

Wow, for a minute I flashed

Wow, for a minute I flashed back to the 70's!   Thanks for the update, Tasha. Remember, God didn't give anybody an expiration date.  Sending you vibes for strength and health!

tufi000

Me Too! BUT.....

Great to see you posting since I left FB.

Anyway, I had a craineotomy 1 1/2 yrs ago anderienced everything you have. I was on the ICU floor for a month. For the 1st week I was locked to the center of my mattress because I was so impatient about getting better.  They not only put Fall Risk on that erasablre board on the wall they put FLIGHT RISK!! HAHAHA. After that I spent 3-4 weeks in 3 successive therapy units. After I went home I continued outside therapy for 2 months.

I learned eventually after many more months which minor issues would remain forever. The way it is now I mostly notice them when I play video games, not in my life unless you count picking up the sugar instead of the coffee-mate 3 days in a row one time is serious. Little stuff

I hope this helps ease some of the worries and encourages a positive feeling. Everyone is different I know. My mom was never better from it but lived another 42 years alone just fine.

All the best dear Tasha

Sherry

WynnieB

Glad to hear from you

Hang in there. I check to see how you are. You are such a brave woman and you have helped me by being so honest. 

RozHopkins

Gosh so sorry, no words.  I

Gosh so sorry, no words.  I will mention before diagnosed and during treatment I had horrible nightmares, more like night terrors.  Took me an hour or more in the mornings to calm my self down.  Get the odd one now though take nothing med wise.  I wonder if we have chemical imbalance while having the cancer then chemicals imbalance while getting the treatments and they play havoc with our brain activity.  The detail of the dreams were vivid, horrible, and sometimes repetitive, terrifying, violent, very complicated, and I couldn't stop them from playing over and over knowing what was coming.  

i hope you are as pain free as possible.  Please know we are thinking of you.  I don't message often now somyou may not recognize my name.

Apaugh

dreams adn hallucinations

While taking the high dose I had hallucinations.  Had to change my ringtone on my phone because of them.  I would also have conversations with people who were not in the room.  Bad dreams, night terrors.  It let up after the high dose was done.  I still have dreams but most of the time they are just silly and dont make sense.  Chemo Brain is real.  My short term memory is shot and I forget how to spell all the time.  I forget numbers, events, past and present.  I forget peoples names and how to get to places I have always been to.  I am hoping it is not long term.  Some days I get worried about it.

Teach76

Med reactions post treatment

I feel having gone through chemo that medications now have different effects - sometimes no effect and sometimes weird effects.  Antibiotics that I was given for years for sinus infections, etc I can't take anymore because of unusual reactions.  Our dx seems to affect everything even long after active treatment ends.  I agree about the frustration of memory loss.  I cringe when my husband says "remember when . . . " and I do not.  I feel that pages of my book have been torn out, and I was never one to walk around taking pictures; I always wanted to enjoy the event in the moment.  Good or bad experiences are gone -- maybe our dreams are just our brains trying to recapture what our memory has lost.  Unfortunately, like the old "whisper down the Lane" game, by the time the story gets back to us years later, the memory may be distorted.

Praying for brighter days for you!

1surfermom

Tasha

Thank you for the update.  I hope that the problems that you had were involved with your fever. I have had hallucinations once  while burning up with fever. My wish for you is peace and to be free of pain. Love surf

 

Christmas Girl

Ahhh, dear J, dear Turquoise One...

(Deep, long sigh...)

Well, hon... I hope the pump is helping to make you feel as comfortable & pain-free as possible. With your love of all things horsey - my heart breaks for you, because of your mobility constraints.

I had similar dreams - both night & day - immediately after my first diagnosis. Never spoke of it, 'til now. Eventually, wrote it all off as extreme stress-induced.

Sending wishes for peace, with love,

Susan xoxoxo

jennytwist

Keeping you in my prayers...

...for healing sleep and only happy dreams!

much love,

Jenny

Apaugh

Prayers

Prayers of peace and comfort going up for you.