Depression in loved one

LM109907

Hello,

My boyfriend was diagnosed with testicular cancer back in September. He under went surgery three days later to remove the testicle and so far everything has been good. It looks like they got it early enough that he didn't need to have chemo and he is under observation. Ever since the diagnosis though he just hasn't been the same, he sleeps all the time, has no excitement in anything, has no motivation, and I can tell he is always somewhere else when we are together. I have tried everything I can think of to try to pull him out of it but I just don't know how to help him with his depression. He is so unhappy and knows he is struggling with everything but he doesn't feel comfortable talking to someone. I have asked him if he would like to go together, I want to do this for him, but he said if he were to go he would want to go alone. This is fine but he just keeps putting it off. I realize I would be the same way if our positions were reversed but I dont know how to help him anymore and it kills me to see him this way. Does anyone have any suggestions of things I could do or say to help with this situation? I have tried talking to him, I've tried distractions and fun things that he likes to perk him up. It lasts for the time being but he is just getting deeper and deeper into depression. Hes starting to have a lot of anxiety and mini panic attacks as well. I'm worried for him and I don't want it to get worse. I'm trying to reach out to others and get in touch with a councelor of my own to see if maybe I can help him with the help of others that know these situations better. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Wesley219

Hello

Your situation sounds similar to me I also went through surgery September last year for the exact same thing only thing is my cancer spreaded. I recieved 4 sessiono of chemo. It's tough and it really breaks you down not just physically but mentally as well. Depression is one of many that you go through. But listen if you were having a hard time before his surgery you probably are still having one now. Sometimes people take things for granted. For me I let my depression get the best of me. Now I'm by myself no help no one to talk to and it's hard because I have a family I'm married but for me I have had some really trying times. Now I I can do is pray. I'm still under going test for my cancer.  Just talk to your boyfriend and be honest with him. Dont be prideful in your feelings but try to put yourself in his shoes if you can. Testicular cancer hurts. Chemo is tough it sucks. Added stress depression anxiety arguing fighting bitterness etc people take life for granted. If you can change your situation or try to go ahead.  And most importantly have faith if you are a believer in Christ trust God.