Tonita Member Posts: 197 Member
edited January 2017 in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Hi everyone.  It's coming up on a year since my surgery.  (tumor removal tongue and 42 lymph nodes removed).  I consider myself fortunate in that no further treatment was necessary.

Since then, I have moved and had to get a new surgeon-head and neck doctor.  I had my first follow-up with the original doctor who did the surgery.  After all the swelling went down, my tongue is quite misshapen and extremely uncomfortable.  He said that he could fix that quite simply with outpatient, one day surgery.  He said this with a great deal of confidence.  I kept that in mind but the idea of surgery on my tongue, no matter how minor, didn't appeal to me right then.

The new doctor just doesn't "click" with me.  After he made a comment about my smoking (I quit 8 months ago) I don't trust that he really cares how I feel about my tongue.  (he said "some would say you brought this on yourself".)  He is very negative about repairing my tongue and seems like he doesn't want to do it.  I'm not sure I want him to either.  I don't think he really cares how I suffer with this.  He did say I might have to "live with it".  Compared to my original doctor, this guy is a real downer.

I want to check with my insurance to see if they would cover me if I wanted to go for follow up treatments with my original doctor.  I am in New Hampshire now and he's in Connecticut. 

I don't know if I can take this new guy much longer.


  • CajunEagle
    CajunEagle Member Posts: 408
    edited January 2017 #2
    My (Sometimes Useless) Advice

    Dear, you look quite attractive.  If you want to continue with this uncomfortable tongue for a long, long time,  Just head back to Connecticut and get it fixed by someone you know and trust.  The heck with the insurance stuff.  They should/will be able to work with you somehow to get all that covered.  Even at my late age, I'd get it done someway....somehow.


  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,722 Member


    Life is short.  I agree with CE and would opt for my first doctor.  Furthermore, I might consider a new ENT just for sanity sake if not my best interest.


  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    Lack of compassion

    I would not trust this doctor.  He might be technically brilliant but if he is judgmental, find someone else.  He's not God and should not try to be.

    Keep looking.

  • Raddude
    Raddude Member Posts: 84

    change and find a Doctor local or back home.

  • Mtngirl7533
    Mtngirl7533 Member Posts: 85
    edited January 2017 #6
    Terrible bedside manner~

    I am new on this site and don't even have a diagnosis yet. I happened to see this and frankly the Doc your talking about infuriated me! Terrible bedside manner and judgemental to boot! I smoked for several years myself and quit almost 11 yrs ago. It amazes me that when someone gets a disease like cancer and was a previous smoker that anyone could say something like that! No one in their right mind would ever ask for cancer or bring it on themselves! ridiculous notion! How insensitive! I am sorry you had to listen to this coming from a professional who is supposed to show compassion and help people! I would definitely look into another Doctor! Go with your gut instinct! I wish you all the best!

  • donfoo
    donfoo Member Posts: 1,771 Member

    One year clear, wonderful! Find a new doc. In the beginning, getting the most experienced docs on your team is critical so you may tolerate not so great bedside manner. At a year out, long term side effects rather than treatment and recovery topics are more common, so finding new docs with experience and nicer seems like a good plan.