Is this normal?

mlph4021

Massage

I wish I had made the appointment sooner! Since my massage last night, I have not taken a single pain pill, no need to. I am sure a LOT of that was tension from everything that has occured in the last month and a half, and it really did the trick! I am very happy to be heading into the weekend and new year in a lot less pain. I may go again next week. 

APny

That's great. Yes, do

That's great. Yes, do schedule another appointment since it helped

mlph4021

Truly

To any newer members, or future members who may read this. If you are having lots of back pain and just uncomfortable I really recommend going and getting a massage as soon as you are able. It honestly made all the difference for me. I have not taken a single pain or anxiety pill since I went, I still get the odd twinges especially where my kidney was, but I feel like a new person. I think the mood issues were with the pain pills and anxiety pills, and I was only taking the anxiety pills because the more I hurt, the more anxious I would become. Kind of became a cycle I couldn't break on my own. 

I think I will still get into the chiropractor this week, mostly because I know what this did to my spine while it was in there. You could see on my MRI how much pressure it was causing. I don't think it will hurt any to get some adjustments done to make things go back to where they should be a little quicker. 

One month since surgery down, now I wait until June for my first scan and hopeful this will be over and done with. 

Jan4you

mlph4021 said:

Truly

To any newer members, or future members who may read this. If you are having lots of back pain and just uncomfortable I really recommend going and getting a massage as soon as you are able. It honestly made all the difference for me. I have not taken a single pain or anxiety pill since I went, I still get the odd twinges especially where my kidney was, but I feel like a new person. I think the mood issues were with the pain pills and anxiety pills, and I was only taking the anxiety pills because the more I hurt, the more anxious I would become. Kind of became a cycle I couldn't break on my own. 

I think I will still get into the chiropractor this week, mostly because I know what this did to my spine while it was in there. You could see on my MRI how much pressure it was causing. I don't think it will hurt any to get some adjustments done to make things go back to where they should be a little quicker. 

One month since surgery down, now I wait until June for my first scan and hopeful this will be over and done with. 

I agree! Glad your massage

I agree! Glad your massage helped a lot!

Yes, there is a mind-body connection, and stress disconnects harmony.

Stretching, centered BREATHING techniques, and learning new ways to cope HELP! Changing your attitude and how you think about the situation is under YOUR control.

Best to you!

Jan

foxhd

Group massage

@ mlph's house next weekend!

mlph4021

foxhd said:

Group massage

@ mlph's house next weekend!

Ha ha

Everyone deserves one for sure! 

Footstomper

mlph4021 said:

Ha ha

Everyone deserves one for sure! 

Am I missing out on something?

I've never had a massage in my entire life.

mlph4021

Footstomper said:

Am I missing out on something?

I've never had a massage in my entire life.

I have not had many, can count them on one hand

But I highly recommend for the post-op everything aching basket case patients! 

todd121

mlph4021 said:

LOL

Believe me, the thought occured to me that I may just need some counseling. I guess I need to look into that one of these days. The motivation just isn't there. It is all I can do to work all day and then I am done. I am having some pretty awful dreams since surgery. Lots of feelings about those too. And like I said, misplaced anger towards my surgeon. I really thought I was over all that, then it came back in full force. 

And I am getting the feeling that my husband and kids are "over it" and getting frustrated with me, and I don't blame them one bit. I feel like a crazy person. And then I let it go and go until I finally take an Ativan, which just makes me go to sleep. This is no way to live. 

Be Gentle With Yourself

I'm 4 years out from my nephrecomy and two years out from adrenalectomy.

This is very, very, very stressful. Did I say this is stressful? Having cancer has been the most stressful experience of my life.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Your anxiety is through the roof. This is life or death. I get it.

Other people won't really understand and they will move on faster than you do. This is absolutely true. That's why you can come here and talk to us, because we've all been there.

I got counseling. I used the ativan when I needed it (and also tried not to resort to it too often). If you can find someone you can talk to besides a therapist, that would be very helpful. For me, I'm incredibly fortunate my ex-wife is a kind, calm, patient and understanding person who still would take my calls. I called her pretty often.

You're not crazy, but you're definitely under a lot of stress. You're also very tired. You may have some depression. Your body has had a really bad trauma. It took me months for the body to heal. Your outsides heal faster than your insides.

I suffered anxiety and depression off and on for a couple of years. Then I had a met to my adrenal gland. It was not as bad as the first tumor, but it did kick it back up again.

So, go easy on yourself. If you have concerns, talk to your doctor(s) or their nurses and tell them about it. That's what you have to do to take care of yourself.

Find ways to relax. Listen to music. Take a hot bath or shower. Meditate. If you have a hobby do that. Read. Watch comedies on TV (or dramas or whatever you can get lost in). If you believe in prayer, pray. I don't particularly, but I prayed a lot and it helped me. I can honestly say it helped even though I don't really believe myself in a personal God that hears and answers my prayers. I did it anyway, and it helped. Journal. If you have to take an ativan, do it. Try not to take them all the time if at all possible. They are addictive and you can build up a tolerance and you can have withdrawal. Some people said anti-depressants help them. I didn't try that. Exercise/walking can really help with stress if you can do it.

You will get through this.

Hugs,

Todd

todd121

mlph4021 said:

Thank you everyone

I wish this was easier. I wish I wasn't such a basket case. And maybe I am still in denial, because I really wish this hadn't happened to me. I am kind of bitter about the whole thing to be honest. My surgeon did call me back yesterday, and he is the nicest kid and a good doctor, but for some reason I have a misplaced feeling of anger towards him too! Like, he did this to me. So stupid, I know. He told me AGAIN that this recovery will take 4-6 weeks and I need to be patient. He told me again how hard my surgery was to do, and that he really had to "work" to get this out of me because of the size and position. I told him I was terrified that every ache and pain was more cancer and he told me there is no reason to believe they didn't get it all. It helped a little, but I can't help but feel scared. 

When I was this down the first time, I came here and then I felt better. This time it is taking longer but if I still feel this bad after the weekend, I guess I will find someone local to go talk to. 

Work

You mentioned going back to work because sitting in front of the computer and the TV is the same thing. For me, sitting was the absolute worse position. It put the most pressure on the area that has been traumatized. Standing and lying down were my best positions for minimizing pain. Sitting also limits blood flow to that area of the body.

I didn't go back to work for 6 weeks and I'm really glad I didn't. Even when I went back, I was so tired by 4pm that I almost couldn't function.

It took me over a year to feel fully normal. I had all kinds of weird symptoms during that first year. Definitely the wounds weren't fully healed for a few months.

Go easy on yourself. I've only read a few of your posts, but I think you're being really hard on yoursef. You need some TLC from YOU.

Todd

mlph4021

todd121 said:

Be Gentle With Yourself

I'm 4 years out from my nephrecomy and two years out from adrenalectomy.

This is very, very, very stressful. Did I say this is stressful? Having cancer has been the most stressful experience of my life.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Your anxiety is through the roof. This is life or death. I get it.

Other people won't really understand and they will move on faster than you do. This is absolutely true. That's why you can come here and talk to us, because we've all been there.

I got counseling. I used the ativan when I needed it (and also tried not to resort to it too often). If you can find someone you can talk to besides a therapist, that would be very helpful. For me, I'm incredibly fortunate my ex-wife is a kind, calm, patient and understanding person who still would take my calls. I called her pretty often.

You're not crazy, but you're definitely under a lot of stress. You're also very tired. You may have some depression. Your body has had a really bad trauma. It took me months for the body to heal. Your outsides heal faster than your insides.

I suffered anxiety and depression off and on for a couple of years. Then I had a met to my adrenal gland. It was not as bad as the first tumor, but it did kick it back up again.

So, go easy on yourself. If you have concerns, talk to your doctor(s) or their nurses and tell them about it. That's what you have to do to take care of yourself.

Find ways to relax. Listen to music. Take a hot bath or shower. Meditate. If you have a hobby do that. Read. Watch comedies on TV (or dramas or whatever you can get lost in). If you believe in prayer, pray. I don't particularly, but I prayed a lot and it helped me. I can honestly say it helped even though I don't really believe myself in a personal God that hears and answers my prayers. I did it anyway, and it helped. Journal. If you have to take an ativan, do it. Try not to take them all the time if at all possible. They are addictive and you can build up a tolerance and you can have withdrawal. Some people said anti-depressants help them. I didn't try that. Exercise/walking can really help with stress if you can do it.

You will get through this.

Hugs,

Todd

Thanks Todd

I actually have not taken an Ativan since I stopped taking the pain pills. I think the residual pain I was still having was contributing to my anxiety big time. I was able to stop the pain pills once I went for a massage and my back was not in spasms anymore. Then last week I went to my chiropractor for an adjustment and it is even better. I go back to him this week. For the first time since surgery I was even able to house clean this weekend! Hubby and kids have been trying, but it felt good to get in there and do things my way. 

I did try and call a counselor I used to know, but his number now rings through to a pizza place, LOL. I am starting to finally get to a "good" place though I think. I am not going to stress about what MAY happen in the future. For now, my surgeon tells me I am cancer free, so I am going with that. I don't get my first post surgery CT scan until June, and I may be a wreck in June waiting for that, but for now I am ok. That is all I can do, and honestly this has become less all consuming. 

I think I just needed some time to heal physically, and the mental seems to be following. The stronger I feel and more I am able to do again, the better I feel about everything. I just do not like feeling helpless like I did. I'm ready to conquer the world now! 

hardo718

mlph4021 said:

Thanks Todd

I actually have not taken an Ativan since I stopped taking the pain pills. I think the residual pain I was still having was contributing to my anxiety big time. I was able to stop the pain pills once I went for a massage and my back was not in spasms anymore. Then last week I went to my chiropractor for an adjustment and it is even better. I go back to him this week. For the first time since surgery I was even able to house clean this weekend! Hubby and kids have been trying, but it felt good to get in there and do things my way. 

I did try and call a counselor I used to know, but his number now rings through to a pizza place, LOL. I am starting to finally get to a "good" place though I think. I am not going to stress about what MAY happen in the future. For now, my surgeon tells me I am cancer free, so I am going with that. I don't get my first post surgery CT scan until June, and I may be a wreck in June waiting for that, but for now I am ok. That is all I can do, and honestly this has become less all consuming. 

I think I just needed some time to heal physically, and the mental seems to be following. The stronger I feel and more I am able to do again, the better I feel about everything. I just do not like feeling helpless like I did. I'm ready to conquer the world now! 

Go with it....

....order the pizza!    LOL

Donna~