update: surgery scheduled

madeline236 · November 2016

so I met with the gyno-oncologist yesterday and somehow really, truly expected she'd say this was all a false alarm and nothing is likely wrong. I thought she'd offer preventative, elective BSO as I'm BRCA+ and we'd talk about doing it sometime in spring maybe or after I turn 40.

Instead, she said she's really concerned and does not even consider a BSO to be elective at this point. She thinks it's necessary and only adding a hysterectomy for adenomyosis would be my choice. So, surgery is scheduled for Dec 15 and they are taking out my ovaries, tubes, uterus and cervix.

She said to there are 3 ways this could go:

1) they see cancer during the surgery and then it will go from laparascopic to big incision and debulking. If they see something suspicious, but not certainly cancer, they will treat as if it is cancer. This would of course be followed by chemo.

2) they don't see cancer, so remove what was agreed to laparascopically and send to lab. In 4-6 weeks lab results could come back that there was cancer or precancer there. This would mean another surgery for looking around and debulking followed by chemo.

3) they don't see cancer and the lab results come back in 4-6 weeks with no cancer or precancer. I heal from this surgery, take HRT for 5-10 years, and am done.

Obviously, I'm praying for #3 but now realize this will be a lot more waiting. Waiting until surgery. Waiting for lab results. I also realize that I don't think life will ever truly be the same. Even #3 is a bit scary with surgical menopause and it's consequences. I have a history of major healling problems. Every sugery I've ever had took my 4X longer to heal than is considered normal and my scars are always huge and permanently painful.

I also now need to tell my kids since so far, I've said nothing. I think I will tell them this is preventatitve due to BRCA and cross the cancer bridge with them only if necessary when the time comes.

thanks for letting me post here and for your support. I just needed to share. This all feels so real and scary.

LorettaMarshall · November 2016

Madeline~U've prepared as best U can~the rest is up 2 the Lord!

Good morning Madeline

Please enjoy this Thanksgiving because your Christmas schedule is going to be a little less than “Merry” given the outline you’ve told us about.

Sounds like your doc is pro-active, and I fully agree with that approach. At this point, it is “preventative” when a hysterectomy is given to avoid future complications. So far so good for that. And I’m so glad she gave you truthful prospects. Now a confession here. At times when I run ahead of the Lord and the doctor, I find myself writing my obituary, and choosing a dress appropriate for my farewell. That is of course, that I have first written a will, and left out my “outlaws” who showed me no mercy during my lifetime. Now that’s supposed to be humorous Madeline. The truth being that I should hold a grudge against no one that would hinder my own personal relationship with my Lord. And those who dislike us are not worthy of attention that would break our peace with God Himself.

Now that said, since I’m known for giving advice sometimes when it’s not asked for, may I chime in here? Since you state that healing takes 4X longer for you, and being a “Cytoreductive surgical patient myself”, if these were my choices and my healing history were the same as yours, I would opt for #1. In Cytoreductive (debulking) surgery, all “non-essential” organs would be removed. Even though the Lord put the gallbladder, spleen, tubes, ovaries, uterus, appendix, omentum in there for a reason, I will tell you that I am living fine without them. Now I will say that the removal of parts of my intestines has left me with a problem with irregularity. Coping with both constipation and diarrhea on a regular basis gets to be something you learn to “live with” otherwise you would be facing blocked intestines. And you don’t want to wrestle with that for sure!

So I’ve put December 15^th on my calendar as a day to pray for you. Agree—this is scary. You nor I would like to choose “Door #1, Door #2 or Door#3. It would be nice to turn back the clock and never have to face this adversity. But such is life. You’ve armed yourself with information that will enable you to understand what this is all about. That’s the smart thing to do. And you’re preparing yourself as best you can to accept the outcome of any of the “what-ifs”.

And oh Madeline, could Christmas come a bit early for you this year? You’re not going to feel much like cooking or eating only 10 days out from surgery I would imagine. Okay I’ll stop short of making plans for your Thanksgiving which is tomorrow, and Christmas which is only 32 days away now. YIPES! I love this time of the year, but since time flies so quickly when you’re 77, that means it will feel like Christmas is only 16 days away. And may God grant you many good days after this surgery. I know you’re looking forward to celebrating a 77^th birthday of your own, and may it be so. Isn’t it strange how “age” takes on a new significance when you think you may not have much left of it.

Once while shopping for groceries, I overheard 2 young ladies bemoaning the fact that one of them was about to be 35 years old! ! ! They were acting like it was the end of life. They weren’t exchanging words about ill health or death. Well actually I felt more like I knew who I was when I reached 45! I didn’t join in the conversation. I was probably 60 at the time. And I thought, “You ain’t seen nothing yet sisters!” And now that I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal cancer, I’m not ever going to complain about getting “older”. Besides with age really does come wisdom. Some things can only be learned by “experience!” And you’re not even in middle age, and I can tell that you’ve become wiser already Madeline. Thanks for the update Madeline.

Love & prayers,

Loretta

Peritoneal Carcinomatosis/Ovarian Cancer Stage IV (diagnosed Nov. 2012)

madeline236 · November 2016

Loretta - you are appreciated

Loretta,

it is so good to hear from you. I know you've been in treatment and not on here as much. I was thinking of you just this past weekend and said a prayer.

I love that you wear your faith on your sleeve so to speak as it is truly a part of who you are. It appears to me that you could not separate yourself from your faith - they are almost one and the same.

I also love your writing style. It is like you are an old friend (old in the "we've known each other for ever sense" not the "you've been alive a long time sense") and we are sitting around the kitchen table having tea and catching up. You should consider writing down your life story. Not only would it be a great record for your family and friends, but I'm certain it would be an entertaining read too!

Take care and I hope you are able to enjoy your Thanksgiving to the fullest tomorow. I managed to do half my Christmas shopping online yesterday and will make a plan tonight for fitting all important Christmas traditions in before the 15th plus a major house cleaning and freezing some casseroles. I don't want to let my kids down as they look forward to baking trays of cookies to give to all the neighbours and making gingerbread houses and cutting down a real tree and lighting the advent candles and so on. This really is a special time of year, full of hope.

NoTimeForCancer · November 2016

madeline, you are right,

madeline, you are right, Loretta is who she is and she is GREAT!

LorettaMarshall · November 2016

madeline236 said:
Loretta - you are appreciated
Loretta,

it is so good to hear from you. I know you've been in treatment and not on here as much. I was thinking of you just this past weekend and said a prayer.

I love that you wear your faith on your sleeve so to speak as it is truly a part of who you are. It appears to me that you could not separate yourself from your faith - they are almost one and the same.

I also love your writing style. It is like you are an old friend (old in the "we've known each other for ever sense" not the "you've been alive a long time sense") and we are sitting around the kitchen table having tea and catching up. You should consider writing down your life story. Not only would it be a great record for your family and friends, but I'm certain it would be an entertaining read too!

Take care and I hope you are able to enjoy your Thanksgiving to the fullest tomorow. I managed to do half my Christmas shopping online yesterday and will make a plan tonight for fitting all important Christmas traditions in before the 15th plus a major house cleaning and freezing some casseroles. I don't want to let my kids down as they look forward to baking trays of cookies to give to all the neighbours and making gingerbread houses and cutting down a real tree and lighting the advent candles and so on. This really is a special time of year, full of hope.

Madeline~Pretend we're really @ your kitchen table-just a chat!

Hello again Madeline. Thank you for your prayers for me. To know that there are those here who pray for each other is uplifting. We women have a lot in common. We empathize with others who face different kinds of problems but we all share the feelings of anxiety and uncertainty and we do draw strength from one another. It is helpful to know how others have coped. And it’s always great to read about those that are in remission. We really are thankful for each new day and the hope that there may be a breakthrough for our kind of cancers. And if not for us, for others who follow after us. Some days for me are better than others. I’m nearing the end of the 3^rd week out from my last treatment. Now for the past couple of days, I’ve been able to do some Christmas shopping. And today I’ve been able to do some cooking. And I’ll get knocked back again on December 1^st, but till then I hope I can get some gifts wrapped, address some Christmas cards and enjoy the good days! My hope for everyone who posts here or just “lurks” here is that we will enjoy each day, treasure it, and thank God for it. I never imagined I would still be here 4 years after my Stage IV diagnosis. So another Thanksgiving—another milestone.

______________________________________________________________________

Now this is just an “informal chitchat around your kitchen table” about cooking Madeline. It has absolutely nothing to do with cancer, but cooking is in my blood, and although I wake up asking myself, “What are we going to have to eat today?” on holidays special recipes come to mind.

And I thought I would put my recipe for Gingerbread men here as well. You can compare it with your favorite ones. This one has always been a keeper for me. And it’s a good diversion from what we usually discuss to think about the things we can do that bring joy to us as we bring joy to others. Some of my grandchildren have written to me and expressed their love for me and written down some of their best memories while living here. Those kinds of letters bring tears to your eyes as your heart swells with pride. I say “Thank You Lord that my life has not been lived in vain.” All of us who are mothers have that hope—that our children have been enriched by the legacy we leave them.

Well, I do declare Madeline, you’re a woman after my own heart. I’ve done the same kinds of things with my own children, and now my grandchildren at Christmas and Thanksgiving. And of course, Easter is special too. We still boil eggs, and let the kids decorate them, then hide them, etc. Those are what memories are made of. And yes, I am who I am, and “what you see is what you get!” Christmas for me is to celebrate the birth of Christ—Thanksgiving is to give thanks for all our bountiful gifts—and Easter signifies for our family the Resurrection. I can’t force anyone to believe like I do, but I give credit for all my ability to cope with this cancer, as well as other trials throughout my life, to the Lord. And keeping on with life as normal as possible, makes me and my family feel better. And it looks like you’re as busy as a bee. And if you’ve ever taken the time to watch a bee work—now that’s BUSY.

My first memories were of growing up in the country. We didn’t move to the big city till I was 12. Jobs were scarce in the country, and there was 8 in our family. So my father got a job in the navy shipyard and we were off to the big city. I was 12 at the time. It took me a year to adjust to losing all my old friends and had to make new ones.

My first memories are of my mom milking her own cow, my father killing our own hogs, and chickens were there for eggs and for eating as were the pigs. Plowing was done by a big work horse named Dan. Of course my father was the one actually doing the plowing. I bet I’m not the only one here that knows how to milk a cow, and churn butter. The milk was so rich that several inches of cream would rise to the top of the jugs. Incidentally, how many of us city gals cooked our first turkey with the giblet bag inside. I did that only once. My mom never did of course, because all our meat was fresh. All we had was a refrigerator. Mom cooked everything from “scratch” as did most everyone in the country. I learned how to can food, cook, sew and garden from my mom. That included making all kinds of jellies and jams. We were “organic” before the word became popular.

And I still chuckle when I remember the phone call I got from my city friend that had purchased a lovely 52-acre farm in the mountains of Virginia. She was raving about “free-range chickens.” She said she would never eat another store-bought chicken. Now I didn’t want to appear dumb, but as she raved on, I realized that she was talking about the same chickens I grew up eating. Our chickens “roamed the range” eating worms, occasional pebbles, and whatever else they found while scratching in the dirt around the yard, but they were never “penned in” and always went to the “hen house” to roost when it got dark. So I didn’t know chickens would cost more just because they were “home on the range.”

I think I have had the best of both the city and the country. Now I must confess that when the mountains were all around me, I took them for granted, but once we moved to the city, I realized how beautiful the country was. There the houses were far apart but close enough to have neighbors. Many of my relatives are still there and I love to go there and visit them. It always makes me feel like “I’m home.”

Tonight I have made a couple of pecan pies, and have the turkey ready to put in the oven. Yes, I removed the bag from “inside the turkey” and have already cooked the giblets. I’ll put that with the turkey drippings after I cook the turkey later this morning, as I am now burning the midnight oil. Can’t have mashed potatoes here in the South without gravy! I’m going to my grandson’s home this year. They don’t live far from here. It will be the first time that I haven’t cooked till I was exhausted, making sure that I always had one favorite thing that all the kids loved. So tomorrow, I will make Macaroni and Cheese (I use Velveeta), with a buttered bread crumb topping. I’ll be making homemade rolls and mashed potatoes. It will be the least cooking I have ever done. But there will be leftovers, and I can enjoy “not cooking” for a couple of days.

And Madeline, I’m glad you’re going on with life as much as possible. We have choices as to how we deal with our diagnoses, do we not? I want my children to see me carrying on my “normal way of life as much as possible” and not being the center of attention. My greatest joy is derived from seeing them happy. Every day is special, but this time of the year is really special. We always want to have one more family get-together, take pictures, share gifts and memories. I want them to know that with God’s strength we can benefit from adversity even when we can’t conquer it. And I appreciate your kind words, and your prayers for me. (And I thank "Lady Parts" for her kind words.)

Lastly, I thought I would share my favorite Gingerbread Man recipe with you. The Gingerbread houses are so pretty, I don’t think I could eat one after I made it. But we gobble up the Gingerbread men, the ones we can “catch” of course.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and all your family!

Love Loretta

__________________________________________________________________________________

GINGERBREAD MEN

Bake at 350̊ for 8 to 10 min. Do not overbake.

2/3 Cup Butter Crisco Shortening
½ Cup Granulated Sugar
½ Cup Pure Molasses
1 Egg
3 Cup Plain (All purpose) Flour
½ Teaspoon SALT
½ Teaspoon NUTMEG
1 Teaspoon BAKING POWDER
1 Teaspoon BAKING SODA
1 Teaspoon CINNAMON
1 Teaspoon CLOVES
1 Teaspoon GINGER

____________________________________________

Directions:

Cream Crisco & Sugar together
Mix Molasses & Egg together well & add to creamed mixture
Mix spices & Flour together & gradually add to mixture
Form dough into ball, cover with plastic wrap & chill for at least 1 hour.
Then I roll out my dough to ¼ inch thickness – (on a lightly floured surface of course)
Then I line the bottom of my baking pan completely with double-sided wax paper.
Then I place each gingerbread man in the pan. (Do not break his legs or he won’t be able to run away! How I loved to hear my mom tell that story to me. Ahhhh the time of fairy tales was one of such innocence!”)
Place the men at least 2 inches apart because they will get bigger as they bake.
Next I take “cinnamon red candies” and place them on his face for eyes, nose, and mouth, and some down the middle for buttons on his belly. But I don’t press the cinnamon candies down too deeply into the dough or it will “melt into the cookie. Just gently press them on the top. However, options are yours: You can leave him plain and decorate with any kind of icing you choose.
Then bake them for 8 minutes to 10 minutes (350°) depending on the thickness of the dough. Don’t overbake, or they will be brittle, crack and break apart! They should be a bit soft to the touch when removing them. They harden as they cool.
Then I slide the entire sheet of men onto a big cooling rack – do not remove them from the wax paper.
COOL completely –
Then I cut out around each man leaving the paper underneath intact until after I finish decorating them. When the kids are decorating them, it can get really messy. Sometimes they gob so much icing on that it drips off the sides of the poor Gingerbread man. But it’s their memory. I give them all the same number of men, so they can’t fuss. “He got more than I did!” Remember those famous words?
After all the mess is made, and the kids are through decorating their batch, I place them (not the kids – the gingerbread men) all on a rack and let them sit till the icing is completely dry. Then I gently remove the waxed paper from off the bottom. At our house, we let each child cut out his own cookies, place their own cinnamon candies on if they wish. (I first got this recipe from one of my old Farm Journal cookbooks dated 1965. I’ve been using the same recipe for over 50 years. (No not the same dough—the same recipe for the dough.) Incidentally, sometimes I triple the recipe, and put some of it in the freezer. Sometimes I put them in the freezer after they have been decorated. They keep well! It is a tradition that I started with my own children. I passed it on to my grandchildren and now the “great grandchildren are in on the act.) It’s a wonderful memory.
And sometimes the kids even bite off a bit of the dough and eat it raw. I’m still alive and all my kids are as well, so I never worried that eating a bit of raw dough would “kill them.” And yes, when I bake a cake, I always “allow” my husband to “lick the bowl”. And if there happen to be two “lickers” in the kitchen, I let one of them lick the beater of my Kitchen Aid mixer. And if I had unlimited funds, I would give away those mixers to all who like to cook.
Then the same weekend, the whole family takes part in putting up the Nativity scene out front. We live quite a ways off the road, and the Nativity set I have is an “old Sears Roebuck lighted set” that my mom gave to me 50 years ago. You know as “Moms” get older, they start “paring down” and giving away stuff they no longer need, or want to dust, but the memories linger on. Now one of my prayers is, “Lord help me to know what to do with all this accumulation of “stuff”! Incidentally, seems a lot of our life gets cluttered with an accumulation of “stuff”. The more we have, the more work it is to maintain it. Now we’re advancing to the “who-needs-it” stage.

But back to my Gingerbread men--for the icing, I don’t go to a lot of trouble. I simply put out several bowls of powdered sugar. You can add a tad of clear imitation vanilla to the bowl, and just enough water to make it blend together. If it is too runny, it will not stick to the Gingerbread men. But of course, since you’re into “homebuilding” as in Gingerbread houses, you have a good icing recipe already, I’m sure. I have tried this icing recipe below, but I wouldn’t go to the expense of using egg white powder again. I’ll leave that to the professionals, but I’ll include it here if you think you might want to try it.

Icing Ingredients:

2 tablespoons Just Whites, an egg white powder
6 tablespoons lukewarm water
1/4 teaspoon almond extract or lemon juice or clear vanilla – I prefer vanilla.
1 box (1 pound) confectioners' sugar

Preparation:

In a large mixing bowl with a hand-held electric mixer on low, beat egg white powder and confectioners' sugar until well blended. Gradually beat in water and flavoring; continue beating on high until icing is very thick and glossy, about 6 to 8 minutes.

Keep icing covered at all times while not being used. Add food coloring if desired, then spread with a knife over cooled cookies or use a pastry bag to pipe the icing around edges of cookies and make designs. - Makes about 2 1/2 cups.

_____________________________That's All Madeline_________________________________

Soup52 · November 2016

Somewhat off subject, but

Somewhat off subject, but thanks for the gingerbread recipe! I've never been able to find the just right recipe! I can't wait to try it! Thankful to think about something besides cancer today:)

LorettaMarshall · November 2016

Soup52 said:
Somewhat off subject, but
Somewhat off subject, but thanks for the gingerbread recipe! I've never been able to find the just right recipe! I can't wait to try it! Thankful to think about something besides cancer today:)

Hey "Soup"~Cooking's a good "diversion therapy"~roll on~ enjoy!

Hello "Soup52" - I read your "about me" page, and I agree about the "below the belt cancers." It does make you wonder where all the research money goes. But I wish also that an equal emphasis were paid to gynecological cancers. One might easily get the impression that Breast Cancer was the worst one to have. Rather than just "pink" as the predominant color, why not a rainbow of colors so as to represent different parts of our female anatomy? But I'm not the CEO!

I see you also had Carboplatin and Taxol as part of your treatment. I know you're thankful for your NED status. And you're right, should there be a recurrence, you will deal with that when you get to it. The temptation to worry is great and can rob us of our peace of mind. And that's not how you want to spend your "free" time.

Don't know how you arrived at the name "Soup52", but I immediately think of food. And speaking of that, everything turned out fine today for our family's Thanksgiving. The turkey is no longer stuffed, but WE ARE! And as for the recipe, anybody that works with cookie dough on a regular basis will know to put all the leftover pieces together and make another ball of dough, roll it out and start all over again. But for some it might be the first time, and they're not sure what to do with what's "left over."

And when I put dough in the freezer, I roll the ball out flat until it is the size of a large saucer at least. That way it thaws more quickly. Through the years I've collected quite a few different sizes of Gingerbread men. So naturally, when baking all the men should be of the same size and thickness or else you'll have a disaster on your hands. Some of the kids pick out several shapes and sizes. That's okay too, but "big and little" don't go in the same pan. The smaller ones will burn before the bigger ones get done. And about the clear vanilla. It doesn't have to be clear, it's just that it just keeps the "white" color whiter, if you use clear. If you don't have it, the regular vanilla will do just fine. But I make one big batch of the powdered sugar mixture, then divide it into as many bowls as I want for different colors. And speaking of vanilla, I do a lot of shopping in bulk at Sam's, Costco and BJ's. The last time I bought a 16oz. bottle of McCormick real vanilla, it cost no more than $8. Yesterday, Sam's price was $16.50 and BJ's was $14.99. It's a good thing vanilla has a long shelf life! But my time is worth something too, so when I cook, I try to use the ingredients listed--that way it will taste best. So I'll be surprised if this recipe doesn't match your expectations.

Since Madeline was telling me about some of the memories she made with her children, it brought to mind that some of mine were similar. That’s why I shared with her this recipe. I never had to "tweak" it. It was perfect to my taste the first time I tried it. Hope you like them as much as we do. Wishing you all the best this holiday season.

Loretta

Soup52 · November 2016

LorettaMarshall said:
Hey "Soup"~Cooking's a good "diversion therapy"~roll on~ enjoy!
Hello "Soup52" - I read your "about me" page, and I agree about the "below the belt cancers." It does make you wonder where all the research money goes. But I wish also that an equal emphasis were paid to gynecological cancers. One might easily get the impression that Breast Cancer was the worst one to have. Rather than just "pink" as the predominant color, why not a rainbow of colors so as to represent different parts of our female anatomy? But I'm not the CEO!

I see you also had Carboplatin and Taxol as part of your treatment. I know you're thankful for your NED status. And you're right, should there be a recurrence, you will deal with that when you get to it. The temptation to worry is great and can rob us of our peace of mind. And that's not how you want to spend your "free" time.

Don't know how you arrived at the name "Soup52", but I immediately think of food. And speaking of that, everything turned out fine today for our family's Thanksgiving. The turkey is no longer stuffed, but WE ARE! And as for the recipe, anybody that works with cookie dough on a regular basis will know to put all the leftover pieces together and make another ball of dough, roll it out and start all over again. But for some it might be the first time, and they're not sure what to do with what's "left over."

And when I put dough in the freezer, I roll the ball out flat until it is the size of a large saucer at least. That way it thaws more quickly. Through the years I've collected quite a few different sizes of Gingerbread men. So naturally, when baking all the men should be of the same size and thickness or else you'll have a disaster on your hands. Some of the kids pick out several shapes and sizes. That's okay too, but "big and little" don't go in the same pan. The smaller ones will burn before the bigger ones get done. And about the clear vanilla. It doesn't have to be clear, it's just that it just keeps the "white" color whiter, if you use clear. If you don't have it, the regular vanilla will do just fine. But I make one big batch of the powdered sugar mixture, then divide it into as many bowls as I want for different colors. And speaking of vanilla, I do a lot of shopping in bulk at Sam's, Costco and BJ's. The last time I bought a 16oz. bottle of McCormick real vanilla, it cost no more than $8. Yesterday, Sam's price was $16.50 and BJ's was $14.99. It's a good thing vanilla has a long shelf life! But my time is worth something too, so when I cook, I try to use the ingredients listed--that way it will taste best. So I'll be surprised if this recipe doesn't match your expectations.

Since Madeline was telling me about some of the memories she made with her children, it brought to mind that some of mine were similar. That’s why I shared with her this recipe. I never had to "tweak" it. It was perfect to my taste the first time I tried it. Hope you like them as much as we do. Wishing you all the best this holiday season.

Loretta

Loretta, thanks again for the

Loretta, thanks again for the recipe and support! I am so glad you had a wonderful holiday as I did too!:) Let's pray for many more!!

update: surgery scheduled

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