When people are not being supportive

Pecs
Pecs Member Posts: 12
in Long-Term Survivors #1

I don't think my spouse is really suited to support me in my fight against cancer.  It has been mostly me supporting her, and I have grown weary of it.  It is like she is the one with cancer, but she is healthy as can be.  I have taken care of everything for her financially.  At this point I need to spend my money on myself and the other cancer patients I have grown to love an support ast they love and support me.  How do I get out of this situation? She will never come around to my way of thinking.  Her ego is too large.  All comments are welcome.  I realize everyone's situations are not the same.

Comments

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #2
    I don't know how I missed this one

    Cancer is insidious and affects relationships whether for the good or bad.

    Hoping your spouse is stepping up now.

  • Moped7946
    Moped7946 Member Posts: 40 Member
    #3
    Pecs

    I am sorry about your situation...I hope at some point it improved...cancer really IS insidious and it DOES affect relationships...some people are wuick to help and others seem to think you are not even telling he truth about it and that you shaved your head for attention (yes this DID happen to me)...there are those who will think you should still run their errands...still take them places...still run around all over the place no matter what all the time saying "you need your rest" but then never really allowing for the fact that you in fact DO need your rest...my mom had me running all over the place on Saturdays and taking her to church on Sundays even though I was also working Monday through Friday...I barely had time to run my own errands and when I DID I fogot why I was where I went LOL!! I am not really angry or anything it is just that maybe some folks just don't quite know how to react and are in some weird form of denial that has them trying to keep everything the same even though it will never be the same.

  • LitlCJdoll
    LitlCJdoll Member Posts: 245 Member
    edited August 2021 #4
    Moped7946 said:

    Pecs

    I am sorry about your situation...I hope at some point it improved...cancer really IS insidious and it DOES affect relationships...some people are wuick to help and others seem to think you are not even telling he truth about it and that you shaved your head for attention (yes this DID happen to me)...there are those who will think you should still run their errands...still take them places...still run around all over the place no matter what all the time saying "you need your rest" but then never really allowing for the fact that you in fact DO need your rest...my mom had me running all over the place on Saturdays and taking her to church on Sundays even though I was also working Monday through Friday...I barely had time to run my own errands and when I DID I fogot why I was where I went LOL!! I am not really angry or anything it is just that maybe some folks just don't quite know how to react and are in some weird form of denial that has them trying to keep everything the same even though it will never be the same.

    To Moped

    Wow, this really resonates with me. Everything you say here is so unfortunately true!  My whole family is just like this, in Denial.

    And they hide from it, as well. 

    Never accompany me to appointments, so they never ever hear it from my doctors. 

    Unbelievably selfish and narcissistic behavior .... It's sad really, and disgusting too because I see that some other patients have good support!!  Gee, not here.

    What has happened is that we've become Wise beyond our years, and our eyes have been opened to reality.

    I.wonder if they will ever " see" it.  

    Litl CJdoll

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