Visitors that wear out their welcome and are clueless

david54 Member Posts: 164 Member

I may have addressed this before-my head is spinning I don't know one day from the next. I about popped my cork the other day. My wifes half sister has a tendency to stay longer than I'm comfortable. It was a bad day. I told her my wife was really miserable and not to bother her. When I came into the house she had her feet propped up on the bed and was reading to her. 

She's clueless. I  told her "Thank you for coming up but I know your husband is waiting for you and we are good here." She looked at me puzzled.

I swear that next time it will be "Get your **** outta my house?!" (I'm frustrated)

She started crying and went on and on about how she can't lose her half sister. Then she started talking about what SHE wants at the memorial service. She wants to read a poem and make little angels for people, just what my wife does not want! She asked me how I would react if my wife died and I wasn't at home. (I'm going away for two days to see my Grandaughter and have good coverage for my wife.)

This is a real boundary issue.

I am going to make it clear she can come up, once a week, but for no more than an hour. If she does not honor that request, she loses her visitation privilage. Clear cut rules and damn...I will get in her face.

It astounds me a few people (but they give me a whopper of a headache) will passive aggressively try to move in and take over. Don't ignore my requests or more important my wifes!




  • GingerMay
    GingerMay Member Posts: 134
    I get it

    I understand your frustration at visitors who are clueless.  For what it's worth, I like your approach to make it clear up front what the rules of engagement are and if they do not comply, they lose their privledges.  Clear as that.  

    People are clueless and when you assert your rightful boundary, they are hurt and confused.... still clueless  I am going through boundary issues with my husband's sisters.  Passive aggressive explains one of them perfectly.  I was never close to them when times were good, but now I don't even feel like faking it anymore.  I would love to tell one of them exactly what I think of her.  But the last thing my husband needs is for me to cause a rift between him & his sisters.       

    Anyway, I think you have a good approach and I support you in pursuing it.  (And I hope you enjoy your visit with your grand daughter.)