feeling a little better about up comming chemo

janaes

After a pretty emotional day yesterday, i finally got up and got ready for my doctors appointment today.  Unfortionatly he is out of the office today, so i am seeing his nurse practitioner.  If it is the nurse i have talked to before, i havent had a lot of luck with her.  But i guess i will do what needs to be done.  I was hoping to find out how long after my last chemo would i need to wait before i do radiation.  Hopefully she knows.   I was having such a  hard day yesterday, that i stopped at the grocery store and had my 10 and 13 year old kids go into the store to get some of the things we needed, while i was in the car crying.  The interesting thing was while i was out in the car I saw a lady who pulled up and got out of her car.  This lady looked like she felt miserable.  She must have had scoliosis. She just seemed to struggle to even walk.  All the sudden i felt greatful i had two kids who were so willing to go shopping and i didnt have to go shopping while i wasnt feeling good.  I ussually feel pretty good just before chemo.  Some how i had managed to prepare my self emotionally for the chemo that was comming up in the past.  Its been hard this time,i think partly because last chemo was so different and chalenging.  I hope this chemo goes a little better.  Accually a lot better would be nice. I will be at my moms house for my first two bad days and i hope she is understanding of how hard it might be.  She has been out of town and  I havent had a chance to talk with her about how this will be the worst days for me and can just sence that she and others too want this cancer stuff done with.   I just dont want her to give up yet. As i look back i can see why anticipating this chemo has been so emotional.  I just have had some hard moments in the past that i hope to not have to do again.

Hey guys thanks for letting me get this out here.  Im feeling more confident that i will beable to finish this stuff some how.

Kvdyson

Hang in there!

Hang in there, Janae. You can get through this. Take one second at a time and then one minute at a time. Before you know it, the hours will pass and you will look back at how strong you've been.

Hope the appointment went okay today. Let us know how you're doing. Kim

 

cindy0519

I too will echo...take a few

I too will echo...take a few deep breaths and move forward one step at a time!  If it helps at all my onco and radio-onc said four weeks between chemo and beginning radiation.

janaes

I really liked my doctors

I really liked my doctors nurse practitioner. She spend alot of good time with me, which my doctor doesnt as much.  She gave me the time i needed.  It wasnt the nurse i thought it was.  She just seemed to care.  Anyways its time i can set up my appointment with the radiation oncoligist.  He was the first doctor i saw in the hospital back in May.  He was the first doctor who told me i would need chemo therapy.  I didnt want to hear that at the time and was pretty mad that i had to do that.  He tried to encourage me but it wasnt going to help me at the time.  I was too in shock.  I was mad at that doctor for quite a while.  When i went to see him about 4 weeks after surgery, i felt he was kind and answered all my questions.  He was the one who accually set up a tumor board for me.  If i think about it know im really greatful for what he did because i dont know if i would even be doing chemo right now because the other two doctors who did my surgery said i didnt need chemo.  That radiation doctor was right and despite the fact that i was really questioning it in his office that day and really didnt want to believe him then and after the tummor board was done, with out him I wouldnt be where i am today. (fighting this teriible cancer stuff  to have a better chance at living).  I dont know to this day if he had a copy of the full pathology report when he had told me i needed chemotheropy (he never gave me  a copy and nore did i ask).  I thought i had the full pathology report which was given to me by my doctor who did my surgery.  It wasnt until i got the full pathology report from my current medical oncolist (who was at the tumar board) that I knew i needed chemo.  It still kind of bugs me that he never told me that the patyhologists agreed with chemo and why.  Maybe i want some answers to that.

Any ways i new all along that my medical oncoligist was planning on sending me to him to do radiation but just didnt worry about.  At times i thought about changing my radiation doctor but knew i didnt have to decide, so i didnt.

Well its time.  I asked the nurse practitioner when i would beable to start radiation after my 6th chemo.  She told me i can call over there and set it up. After she told me i could do it as soon after chemo as i wanted i decided i want to do it about a week or so after chemo so i could recover from the side effects a bit.  It got me axious to be done. 

So i need to decide if i want to see this doctor.  What do you guys think?  I was thinking of calling today so i could know what was going to happen and when i would start and what to expect.

Let me know what you think.

EZLiving66

You're lucky you have choices

You're lucky you have choices.  With my insurance, mine are very limited.  Why don't you meet with this doctor and talk to him.  If you don't feel comfortable, then try another.  It may be that when you first worked with him, you were still in shock about the cancer diagnosis.

Keep us updated and I hope this chemo is easier than the last!

Love,

Eldri

Soup52

I agree with Eldri. Maybe it

I agree with Eldri. Maybe it was the shock when you saw him first time, but if you get bad vibes when you meet with him then you could switch. I am not fond of my radiation oncologist, but I didn't have much choice being that he is at the facility that is only 10 min from my home. Going 5 days a week that was a major convience. I don't know how yours will work, but I only met with him once a week. The nurses and technologists actually did the treatments. Best of luck for you! I know this is all so very hard. My heart goes out to you.

janaes

Thanks every one who

Thanks every one who commented. Its stuff i will really think about. I had a hard morning. real emotional again but i called a friend and just continued forward and siad things i was greatful for in my mind.  My dod came and got me and we were off to do chemo.  I told him how it was hard to want to go.  Sometimes my dad really bothers me because he tells me what to do but other times he says just the right thing.  Today he validated my feelings.  It calmed me down. I did chemo. We were out of there by noon.  We went out to lunch and i had a big juicy steak.  then went and didn the rest of my shopping.  I was glad he was there to help.  Feeling okay now.  Not too suprising.  Day one has always been okay.