My 76 year old Mom has Stage 4 IDC Breast Cancer

Scared Daughter

I'm new here and need some support. My Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Estrogen positive IDC in May of this year. She had her left breast and 12 lymph nodes removed July 12th. She then developed an infection after surgery and had to wait 6 weeks to have her drains removed. When we met with the oncologist at post-op she looked at my Mom and said "We found distant lymph nodes so I'm now staging you at 4" - I felt like the room was spinning. She also told us that she would have 12 weeks of A\C, 12 weeks of Taxol and 6 weeks of radiation. She just started Chemo on August 30th - but they are starting with the Taxol first. Has anyone done Taxol first? Unfortunately I live 700 miles away from my Mom. I was able to be there for a month so I could help her with her surgery and the drains. I feel like I should be there to help her but like everyone I need to work. I feel such guilt that I can't be there to help her through this. I told her that I'm willing to quit my job and move to her town to take care of her. She said if it gets to the point where she can't take care of her dogs she will ask me to come and live with her. The only thing that keeps me sane is that I crochet. So I'm crocheting chemo caps for her, I will be mailing them this Tuesday. When she wears them it will make me feel like I'm hugging her from 700 miles away! Does anyone know women at this age who have had a good prognosis? My Mom is a tough cookie (32 years in the Air Force) but I see her crumbling. And I need suggestions on how to support her and help her be positive!

bonbondidit

Hi!!!

There are a lot of stage 4 people on this site that may have better suggestions. They are so nice. I am a stage 3, but much younger than your mom. I do not believe your mom can do this on her own honestly if she lives by herself. Check into your family leave act at your work and see if you qualify and if your company participates in it.  If anything hire a home health care person to make daily visits or more if possible. I think she will need to be driven to and from treatments as she will get very weak during them.  You are a great daughter reaching out as her main caregiver.  I'm sure others in her stage will probably guide you as well.  We are here for you and your mom,

Bonbon

Scared Daughter

Thank you so much Bonbon! I

Thank you so much Bonbon! I appreciate the support, unfortunately I am a 

hairstylist and work for myself so the family leave act doesn't apply to me. I will check into getting a caregiver to come to her house and make sure that she is doing well. I have read so many stories on this site that give me so much hope. You are all such strong women and I appreciate the forum to speak my mind. Thank you all!!