getting closer but still need support

janaes

I am so axious and some times just darn ready to have these chemo treatments done.  I do chemo treatment 5 in one week. My days have been up and down lately. yesterday i was on the computer most of the day just feeling like i am not worth doing any thing. last night i dicided i didnt want to do that so today i have been a bit more productive.  I accually washed a batch of my clothes. I had to walk down stairs to put them in and down stairs again to put them in the dryer ( big accomlishment for me). I tried to put a new belt on the vacuum but couldnt find a screw driver to do it.  At least i tried.  I also was able to run a few erends.  Yea!!  

Did any one just start feeling axious and even mad this chemo stuff isnt done yet?  Its getting closer and everyone keeps telling me i only have two left.  Some times i tell myself that.  I say to my self.  I can do this. Its only two left!!!!! I say it out loud.  Maybe to make it real.  And then i get down and dont want to do it.  Help. I need support as i get closer to the finish line.

TeddyandBears_Mom

Janaes, the fatigue is the

Janaes, the fatigue is the hardest part of the journey. And, it does mess with your emotions too. Especially when you are used to being self-sufficient and on the move all the time.  You will get there. Just be kind to yourself and know that it is temporary. In a couple of months, it will be behind you. And, you will be glad you pushed through it so that you know you did everything possible to live a long life and enjoy watching your babies grow up.

I'm glad you made yourself get up. Short walks will help you feel better.

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

CheeseQueen57

Try relaxation /meditation

When my mind messes with me, I find doing meditations helpful. The University of Michigan cancer website has some free that you can use on your phone or computer. Just search University of Michigan Cancer Center. I'll try to find the link for you. 

CheeseQueen57

Here's the link

http://www.mcancer.org/support/managing-emotions/complementary-therapies/guided-imagery/audio-library

brissance

Me Too

I have the same issues.  I have one chemo left...  and I rejoice when I can do the dishes or mop the floor...  tasks that normally take say 10 minutes take me hours. Work a bit sit a bit longer.  I wonder what it was like to feel good and wonder if I ever will again.  But i am listening to these other ladies and trying to push through it.  Keep the faith, that is what will get us to the other side.  Looking forward to a major house cleaning as soon as I get well.

janaes

Brissance,  me to about the

Brissance,  me to about the house cleaning.  You should see my fridge.  It is a mess.  I promise I cleaned it just before surgery.

Thanks cheese queen for the web site. I will be sure to look those up.  I have been having a hard time lately but i really do love to just relax and sit with my emotions.  Some people cant understand that but it helps alot.

Cindi, thanks for your ecourangment.  I love to hear stuff like this fom you gals that know what to do.  The validation is so hlpful. It helps me know that i am not crazy. 

Lou Ann M

You are stronger than you

You are stronger than you think you are and you will get through this.  Fatigue can really get you down in many ways, both physical and mentally.  One time last winter when fatigue was at its worse. I struggled to go outside and bring my dog in for the night.  When I got him in I noticed that the hall light was still on.  I couldn't get up enough energy to go,turn it off( it was 5 feet away) so I sat down and cried instead.  

A lot of emotions come with that last chemo.  Take it easy and treat yourself gently.

Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

Lou Ann M

brissance said:

Me Too

I have the same issues.  I have one chemo left...  and I rejoice when I can do the dishes or mop the floor...  tasks that normally take say 10 minutes take me hours. Work a bit sit a bit longer.  I wonder what it was like to feel good and wonder if I ever will again.  But i am listening to these other ladies and trying to push through it.  Keep the faith, that is what will get us to the other side.  Looking forward to a major house cleaning as soon as I get well.

Not really looking forward to

Not really looking forward to it, but hopefully I will soon feel good enough to do some major cleaning, too.  I bought a hug shampooer right before I got on this roller coaster and I have been hoping that I might be able to use it pretty soon.  I have been blessed with a husband that has done a lot of the cleaning and cooking during the times I felt the worse.

Lou Ann

 

EZLiving66

During my chemo there were

During my chemo there were times I crawled to get from one place to another.  The fatigue was overwhelming at times.  Eight months later I still struggle but it's nowhere near as bad.  But.....there are still some days I can't make it through the day without a nap.  Luckily I have a sofa in my office because I've sure used it this last year!!!

Love,

Eldri

janaes

Eldri thanks for finding the

Eldri thanks for finding the good in this stuff.  Sofas are great.  Lou Ann im glad im not the only one that struggles getting up.  Thanks for sharing your experiences.

I now feel greatful and can see how this cancer junk truely turns into something good as we can help others.

Soup52

You will feel better:) There

You will feel better:) There will be times when you will wonder if you will... Don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't happen as soon as you think. I remember friends commenting how great I looked and I secretly thought I wish I felt as good as I look:( But now I'm feeling good most of the time. It's the new normal and just think all that poison did its work and you're alive:) best of luck! You can do it!

MAbound

It's an adjustment

We're all so used to being the person taking care of others it's quite an adjustment and a blow to our sense of self and purpose to be the person on the recieving end. Give yourself permission to backpeddle on the normal expections you place on yourself for awhile, especially on the cleaning that has to be done so repetitiously to keep up with it. Dust and clutter make me nuts, too, but I'm trying not to see it until I can deal with it again. It helps to make me less of a nuisance to my poor husband by not letting it bother me.

I'm coping by using my time, when sitting is about all I'm up to doing , to learn as much as I can to cope with the treatments and what I can do for myself once I am into the watchful waiting end of things afterwards to have the best odds I can for a good outcome. This forum has been so helpful giving me things to look into further! I can't imagine what going through something like this without such a resource would have been like.

I've also taken up where my mom left off on her geneology hobby. It's a gift I can leave to my children and grandchildren and it's also proven helpful looking into the genetics angle. It's fascinating stuff and oh would my mom have loved having the internet and ancestry.com to help her! I've got one branch of the family traced back to the 2nd Mayflower crossing and there's a lot of pioneers and patriots in that bunch. It's really an addictive hobby and helps a lot to take my mind to something other than the cancer battle!

janaes

MA bound I used to crowshay

MA bound I used to crowshay(dont know how to spell that) I made a blanket for my daugher about two years ago.  That crafty stuff is what i like.  its been a long time but i used to cross stitch and like to draw too.  I like to play cards too. I just got to get rid of  this guilt i feel once in a while that stops me from moving onward. 

Kvdyson

janaes said:

MA bound I used to crowshay

MA bound I used to crowshay(dont know how to spell that) I made a blanket for my daugher about two years ago.  That crafty stuff is what i like.  its been a long time but i used to cross stitch and like to draw too.  I like to play cards too. I just got to get rid of  this guilt i feel once in a while that stops me from moving onward. 

Janae, have you considered

Janae, have you considered crocheting (I believe that's how you spell it?) hats or scarves to donate to chemo patients? Since you're good at it and you like to do it, it may give you a sense of real purpose during your down times. No guilt if you're creating something that someone else needs and wants but doesn't have the skill to make themselves. Kim

janaes

Not a bad idea.  When i went

Not a bad idea.  When i went to my last chemo appointment i asked one of the nurses there about the blankets they have there and i ussually use.  She told me some one made them.  I sure am glad they have those there to use. You know lately i have been feeling i want to make a difference in this cancer world.  Since this is my second cancer i have been thinking about it.  Lots of things have been going through my head.  I think i just need to do something.