Still Here

mrou50
mrou50 Member Posts: 389 Member
in Kidney Cancer #1

Sorry it has been a while since I have posted, I hope I did not create any un-needed worry. I am a week out of the first cycle of IL2 and FootStomper you are right the staff handling me are incredible.  I am still very ill from the IL2 even though I have been home for nearly a week.  This has to be the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life.  Now I am in radiation for a few more days and then I get a break for a few days and it is back to the hospital for more IL2.  The doctors said my body reacted just they way they were hoping but we won't know if it is working on the tumors until a few weeks after the second session, I hate to think that it isn't working after all that I have endured.  

I finally broke down for the first time this week, to this point I have never really felt sick for the most part now I realize that I am living with cancer the financial burden, the physical burden and mental burden became to much for me.  I was sitting on the radiation table and I just started to cry the staff were quick to be by my side but I must admit I am tired of all of this.  I want my old normal back.  

Thank you for all your prayers and support and thank you for letting me vent.  God bless everyone of us tonight who share in the fighting of this disease and God Bless our families for enduring all of the pain that goes with this disease along side of us.  I will try and right after session two when my strength gets back.  

Mark

 

Comments

  • Jojo61
    Jojo61 Member Posts: 1,309 Member
    #2
    Mark, thank you for posting.

    Mark, thank you for posting. We all think about you and are behind you 100%! Stay strong. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that this treatment is successful and not too hard on your poor body.

    Look forward to hearing any updates!

    Big hugs

    Jojo

  • hardo718
    hardo718 Member Posts: 853 Member
    #3
    God Bless you Mark

    You have been through SO much.  I will continue praying for you and that the treatments are successful.  I'm looking forward to some good news from you soon.  I tend to be resistant of "letting go" of my emotions (it's probably a control thing for me I'm told), and yet I realize that it can be very cleansing, so to speak.  All those tears can really clean things up.  Altho I need to practice what I preach, feel free to let the river flow, for it has little to do with strength.  The toll is undoubtedly a lot to deal with, for all involved.

    Keep the faith Sir,

    Donna~

     

  • Allochka
    Allochka Member Posts: 1,074 Member
    #4
    Good luck, Mark. As Donna

    Good luck, Mark. As Donna said, tears do help. Don't be ashamed, it is so understandable, and good for you. Sorry to hear about side effects, but I've heard that when you feel bad due to medicine- that means ir is working!

  • icemantoo
    icemantoo Member Posts: 3,361 Member
    #5
    Sending

    Sending good Karma for you to fight back with.

     

    Icemantoo

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    #6
    IL2

    Its do-able isnt it? It certainly had a profound effect of my tumours and , as you say , the staff are a breed apart. Well done and good luck. We will be thinking of you, and dont forget that self-sorrow is a brief madness. Good luck for the next ride.

  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    #7
    Thanks for checking in...

    Thanks for checking in, letting us know how things are going.  Sounds like you have a good team -- medical team, family / friends, and us here.  All the best on this next round.

  • Pandabear1011
    Pandabear1011 Member Posts: 123 Member
    #8
    Dear Mark...

    Sending positive vibes and good karma that the IL2 brings you to NED. Take care and stay strong, Panda

  • marosa
    marosa Member Posts: 334 Member
    edited July 2016 #9
    Stay strong Mark

    and when I say this, It has nothing to do with tears, they too have their healing effect.  Sending loving healing thoughts your way.

  • APny
    APny Member Posts: 1,995 Member
    edited July 2016 #10
    Sending you hugs and prayers.

    Sending you hugs and prayers. I'm so sorry IL2 is so hard on you. Hoping that as bad as it is now, it will have great results for you. Hang in there xo

  • foxhd
    foxhd Member Posts: 3,181 Member
    #11
    Mark

    it is the worse thing you'll ever experience. I know. Il-2 feels like it may be killing you. I could not eat, or sleep for all 5 days of each cycle. Dry heaves, diarrhea, and hallucinations. Near psychosis when I got home. This is an exclusive club my friend. That's why I suggested on focusing on getting to the end date of treatments. When it is over, you will say that you would do it again. I've also experienced 2 weeks of radiation when I was at my sickest a couple years back. I had lost the use of my arms and needed a wheelchair. So I know that you can do it. Tell yourself that you can recover from anything. Just hang in therre. Have faith in your care team and yourself.

  • danbren2
    danbren2 Member Posts: 311
    edited July 2016 #12
    Thanks for paving the way for us Mark!

    I do remember when Fox was going through that and I thought how can anyone survive that!  You guys have done all the work for us, when and if we have to go through it.  We know what to expect and know it is a huge battle!  Thank you for all your doing, may God Bless you and help keep you strong! 

                                       Love,

                                       Brenda

  • Footstomper
    Footstomper Member Posts: 1,237 Member
    #13
    danbren2 said:

    Thanks for paving the way for us Mark!

    I do remember when Fox was going through that and I thought how can anyone survive that!  You guys have done all the work for us, when and if we have to go through it.  We know what to expect and know it is a huge battle!  Thank you for all your doing, may God Bless you and help keep you strong! 

                                       Love,

                                       Brenda

    Dont forget you dont have to be a hero. Be honest! And the best of luck my friend.

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