New to this Camp
Hello ladies, I am so glad I found this site. When I originally Googled my discharge diagnosis "Endometrial/Uterine Adenocarcinoma (Hcc)", nothing promising came up. In fact, it made me have a panic attack, as I thought I had only weeks to live. My lab results will come back in approximatley a week. Aside from the above diagnosis, on my discharge form from last weeks radical hysterectomy, I've been told the type I have is the highest grade - most aggressive & unpredicatable. I'm assuming this means Type III. I get so overwhelmed trying to figure it all out. And, again, there is not much positive news on-line.
The next step will be to find out the staging and if it spread outside my female organs through the lab results and then come up with the next plan. I was already told, because of the type of cancer, I will have to undergo chemotherapy. Mind you, I knew NOTHING about cancer two weeks ago - with all the words associated to it ike a foreign language to me. I have a friend begging me not to do chemotherapy, insisting it will kill me and that I should go the diet route. I'm now doing research on both. I thought I read something about a place where you can go for chemotherapy and have a cancer diet plan administered at the same time. But, now I can't find the notes on it. There are also institutes that you can attend, where they focus primarily on diet. This is all so overwhelming. After using the restroom, I am constantly checking for blood, knowing the next step would be the removal of my bladder and colon, as this is where it normally travels to.
I homeschool my two precious daughters, ages 14 & 16. I hope and pray I will be able to continue schooling them through high school and this doesn't take me out sooner. This news has definitely caught us all by surprise. Especially, because we've always been health conscience (ie., eating healthy, using deodarant without aluminum, using natural toothpaste, soap, essential oils, and shampoo; using glass and not plastic, never use the microwave, and on & on).
My primary goal is to set up a network of friends that understand this journey - that can be an encourgement, as well as me encouraging those in need, and we can share the outcome of our treatments. My strength, peace, and hope comes from having a relationship with the Lord. Thank you, for taking the time to read this and reply. Blessings to all.
Comments
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Sorry to you have to be here but you are most welcome.
Charissa, Bette Davis once said, "Fasten your seat belt, it is gonna be a bumpy night" or something close to that. The initial blast is or was so far the worse for me. Keep notes as to what your doctor says, what questions you have. Find out what is the traditional treatment plan (this is a great place for that). When you read the horror stories that you will find on the net, realize some of these are old, some are just wrong and even if those things were correct for one patient, each of us will respond differently so no one "knows" how your adventure will end. We all shoot for cured.. and many of us achieve that.
I have grade 3 as well, UPSC. But another part of the equation is I have stage 1A. Actually, when I had my hysterectomy, the tissues were tested in the operating room so the doctor could make decisions on how to complete the surgery. I knew I was in pretty good shape when I was in recovery. Each doctor and facility is different but do some checking and make sure your oncology team is top notch. Do research on the internet, You really need to have a good team working for you. If you need to, get a 2nd opinion.
Anyway, I am new to this as well. I have been fortunate and am having a relatively easy go. I also feel like I have an excellent team of oncologist. I try hard to keep positive.. (sometimes blow that) but then read these post and come away much stronger. And like you, God is my strength. I am letting Him hold my hand through this.
You will get my prayers and best wishes. Some excellent ladies here that have fought some long battles. They have the answer to almost everything. They will be of so much help you will find much of your time full of laughter and just plain ol' appreciation of goodness and fine people.
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Hi Charissa
I'm so sorry you are scared, and armed with little knowledge about what your diagnosis is. That is the most terrifying, but I can say for a fact that I have UPSC (uterine papillary serous carcinoma) which they also grade as agressive, and I have made it through front line chemo ( treatments) and can say that although I didn't like the chemo, it didn't kill me or even come close to it Common treatment for an agressive cancer is chemo/with or without radiation, which most of the ladies on here have already been through with success. Please don't jump to conclusions, my cancer was grade IIIc, stage 3 which meant they found it in one lymph node along with 3/4ths way through the uterus. I don't worry about tomorrow, I live for today with every expectation that I'll be around for years to come. We can answer any question you ave when you get into stage/treatments, and this group is particularly supportive of all of us. I too appreciation having faith to prop me up, when I feel unsure. Hugs Nancy
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Charissa, one more thing to consider
I would put a little distance between myself and my friend if she is telling me that chemo will kill me and to go with the diet route. Unless she is a medical person, I would suspect she is a fear monger, only reading old stuff from the internet and not fully informed. Do not let her influence your decision for treatment, that is between you and your doctor. Diet is usually an adjuvant therapy along with conventional therapy. I believe some of the larger cancer centers focus on both standard treatment, (surgery, chemo, radiation) and also alternative treatments such as diet. These would be in major cities, which are not available to many of us. Needless to say, it will help you to have a gynocologist/oncologist if possible to be your doctor as they have treated female cancers and have many ideas on treatments outside the normal if standard treatments don't result in desired NED (no evidence of disease). Hugs Nancy
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Charissa
I agree that you shouldn't listen to your friend. I probably wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't gone through chemo. I had stage IVb (the highest possible stage) of UPSC, which is a grade 3 cancer (all grade 3's are aggressive). My cancer was an adenocarcinoma in my uterus, and had spread to both ovaries, the omentum, and the small intestine. I didn't even start bleeding until very late in the game, a couple of months before my diagnosis. I had surgery and chemo, nothing else. I was given Emend to take a couple of days before chemo so I never was nauseous and never vomited from chemo. My blood count did drop and I got very short of breath after 3 rounds of chemo. I had to have a blood transfusion of one unit of blood for that during my chemo and I had also had one with two units of blood a couple of days after my surgery because I had lost so much blood. Besides having my cancer removed during surgery, I had my gallbladder and appendix removed because I had gallstones (and they routinely remove the appendix so it won't cause appendicitis at a later date). I was in the hospital for 6 days. It's now been six years since my surgery, and I'm still alive and kicking. My check-ups have shown I have no evidence of disease. I did have one scare where a mass was found on a scan, but after several repeat scans, the thing hadn't grown, so my gyn/onc said it couldn't be cancer. Cancer always grows. I definitely think you should go for chemo and give it a try. Everyone doesn't get cured with chemo, but I think you're putting yourself at more risk by going with diet alone. It's fine to do that in addition to chemo. A lot of people swear by turmeric. I haven't tried that and probably should have. This cancer is a really strange thing. Some of the people who exercise regularly and eat healthy diets still get it. A lot of overweight people with poor diets and poor habits like smoking often don't. It's really mind boggling. If I were you, I'd get out the big guns to go after it and give myself the best chance for long term survival that I can.
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Charissa, I completely agree
Charissa, I completely agree with the other ladies' posts. Just wanted to welcome you to the board and say that you will find some amazing strength throughout this journey. I am 5 months out from my last chemo and 4 months out from my last radiation. Feeling pretty darn good these days.
If you are really curious about the chemo effects, there is a thread titled 'Ladies going through chemo.....' where several of us documented our chemo journey. There is another thread about radiation but I can't remember the actual title. Both of these were set up sometime after July of last year. This might help you gain a better understanding and ease your mind.
We are here for you. Please ask us anything. Someone will have an answer!
Love and Hugs,
Cindi
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Charissa, it is VERY
Charissa, it is VERY overwhelming to hear "cancer" but you are not alone. You might want to ask exactly what kind of cancer you are dealing with. Type I (unbelieveably called 'typcial garden vareity type' sometimes) and can be Grade 1 through 3, and the other, Type II is more agressive and always Grade 3. There are Stages which range from I through IV, how far it has spread, so for example, I had Type II, Grade 3, Stage 1A - agressive but caught very early. Now, don't think the agressive, high stage cancer is an automatic death sentence. There are women here who are at least 5 years survivors and more. I don't want to scare you, but you will want to ask questions.
Everyone is different on chemo, natural, etc...and it is a personal choice you have to make. Hopefully you are working with a gynecologic oncologist who specializes in these cancers. I chose the 'sandwich' treatment, which is chemo/radiation (external and internal (brachytherapy)/chemo that was recommended to me and have always tried to watch what I eat. From reading what ladies have posted here there are some variations to the treatment, but it is what is being given at this point. Chemo consists of powerful drugs and the side effects vary, as the women on this board have experienced, but I decided for myself that I wanted to do everything I could do to fight this beast, but it is always your choice.
When you visit for your follow up you might want to take someone with you who can take notes so you can concentrate on what is being said and you have a second set of ears.
Finally, there is a lot of information on this board, so you may want to read some of the older posts as well. You are not alone and there are SURVIVORS out there - you are reading their posts. Please ask any question you want here, there really is nothing off limits as you will see.
Try to take a breath, I promise you, you are going to surprise yourself when you look back.
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Hi Charissa
Welcome to a really great place for uterine cancer folks which has some off the most caring, warm, and wonderful ladies on the planet. My wife was diagn with uterine serious cancer last fall, had complete robotic hysterectomy surgery in December, was staged after surgery as 1a grade 3 which is a very aggressive cancer but caught early before any spread. I've been hanging with the great women here as a caregiver and I'm kinda the unofficial guy mascot of the board. You are going to be fine. There's a lot of good medical treatment for this type of cancer and the best advice I can give you at your stage is to find the best darn gyneoncologist in your area who has had lots of experience treating uterine cancers.
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Part 2
Dont be afraid of having to do chemotherapy. It's no walk in the park but is completely doable. My wife just finished frontline chemo and so far has come through ok. We were completely scared about treatment but my wife's gyneoncologist and everyone here pulled us though. Hang in there and try and take things one day and one step at a time.
No matter what your stage of cancer turns out to be you will have many options and many many goods days ahead.
Lastly stay OFF THE INTERNET! The information is mostly wrong, old, and of little value.
Red Corvette
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Hello, Charissa!! Welcome to
Hello, Charissa!! Welcome to the club that nobody wants to be a member of. But, I'm glad you found us and as the other ladies have stated, if you have any questions, pretty much nothing is off limits. I'm Eldri, 63, from Green Bay, WI. I had no symptoms, just a feeling something wasn't right. I had to change GPs just to get a referral to a gynocologist who did an endometrial biopsy and found cancer. The hysterectomy was the easiest surgery I've ever had - DiVinci robot - and I literally danced out of the hospital the next day. I was Stage II, Grade 3 UPSC and although my gyno/oncologist thought he got it all during surgery, I made it through three chemos. He did not recommend radiation.
I totally agree with the other ladies - talk to your doctor, get a second opinion and learn all you can about your cancer. When I first read the statistics, I was certain I'd be dead in a month but those were so old. Things have changed so much in the past few years and new treatments are being tested all the time.
We're here for you!!!
Love,
Eldri
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Charissa
I can't add too much to what other ladies have said, but I do want to welcome you to this board. You will find a lot of information and support, and I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through treatment without these women. My cancer was also Grade 3 and chemo was always going to be part of my treatment.
One thing you will hear a lot is, everyone reacts differently. To chemo, to radiation, recovering from surgery. There is a very broad spectrum of reactions and recovery and "normal" can cover a lot of ground.
Since you are already looking at diet, etc. you might want to consider including an integrative oncologist or naturopathic oncologist as part of your medical team. Some specialize in offering care that's complementary to conventional treatment. There are several women on this board, myself included, who have done that and found it useful.
Right now is the scariest part, where you're dealing with the initial shock of diagnosis and the unknown to follow. It will get better. So take a breath, put your energies toward healing from surgery, and then you can see what sort of treatment plan your doctor has in mind.
Chris
P.S. love the pic with your horse. I ride, too!
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Welcome Charissa
Welcome, Charissa. I am so sorry that you have received this diagnosis and hope that you know feel welcome to ask any questions here.
I was in your shoes just 9 months ago. Feeling overwhelmed by my diagnosis of stage 1b, grade 3 carcinosarcoma (aka MMMT). The information I found on Dr. Google was devastating. Then I started to join sites like this one and found out the truth from those who were living with - and beating - this beast.
I have chosen to go with the "standard of care" front-line treatment for my diagnosis - surgery, chemo and radiation - to ensure that I can look back and have no regrets that I missed an opportunity to stop this beast in its tracks. The side effects have been minimal and I have continued to work full time during them. Of course, not everyone reacts the same to the treatments but it is very unlikely that the standard of care would result in hastening a death from the beast.
Each of us has to chose our own paths when we receive this devastating news. Please know that we will support you in whatever path you choose. We just ask that you make that decision based on the scientifically proven facts and not from a place of fear or from hearsay.
Wishing you peace and strength, Kim
Surgery: TAH & BSO, 14 lymph nodes excised, 10.5 cm - Sept 2015; 47 years old
Dx: Uterine carcinosarcoma (MMMT) Stage 1b, Grade 3 - Sept 2015
Frontline: Chemo (Taxol-day 1 & Ifosfamide/Mesna-days 1-3) - 6 rounds - Dec 2015 - May 2016
Radiation - external, 28 treatments, completed Mar 20160 -
Welcome!
Again, Welcome! I'm Debra(Jo) and I am another UPSC. That would make me a TypeII.Grade 3,1a Stage. I was diagnosed in July of 2009....yep, '09! Still here, still NED and for an old bitty, not doing so bad! We are all here to help, nothing is off topic or TMI...we even have a couple of gentlemen here, God Bless them! Don't try to see the big picture, stay off Google, ditch the friend, slow down. Tomorrow is not promised for anyone! Do make diet changes, look into the supplements used by the ladies here,keep exercising, and just tweek your life as you go about living it! Best, Debra
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Internet Research
Welcome! I don't like to disagree with the excellent advice given by the ladies here, but we are each different, and I don't think it is necessary to stay away from the legitimate medical sites on the Internet if you want to know more about what you are up against with your diagnosis. In fact, my gynecologist printed out some articles on UPSC to give to me when my biopsy came out positive. And my gyn oncologist said it was fine to do some research and even said go ahead and look up some YouTube videos on daVinci hysterectomies.
I ended up with Stage 1A, Grade 3 UPSC, which meant chemo, but it was not nearly as difficult as I had imagined before I knew anything about cancer or its treatment. I am now about 16 months NED post treatment. My point is, if you are one that likes to research and know what's going on, go ahead and read, just pay attention to the sources. I have learned so much from internet sites as well as from ladies on this forum.
Martha, North East US
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Thank you, Brissance. Becausebrissance said:Sorry to you have to be here but you are most welcome.
Charissa, Bette Davis once said, "Fasten your seat belt, it is gonna be a bumpy night" or something close to that. The initial blast is or was so far the worse for me. Keep notes as to what your doctor says, what questions you have. Find out what is the traditional treatment plan (this is a great place for that). When you read the horror stories that you will find on the net, realize some of these are old, some are just wrong and even if those things were correct for one patient, each of us will respond differently so no one "knows" how your adventure will end. We all shoot for cured.. and many of us achieve that.
I have grade 3 as well, UPSC. But another part of the equation is I have stage 1A. Actually, when I had my hysterectomy, the tissues were tested in the operating room so the doctor could make decisions on how to complete the surgery. I knew I was in pretty good shape when I was in recovery. Each doctor and facility is different but do some checking and make sure your oncology team is top notch. Do research on the internet, You really need to have a good team working for you. If you need to, get a 2nd opinion.
Anyway, I am new to this as well. I have been fortunate and am having a relatively easy go. I also feel like I have an excellent team of oncologist. I try hard to keep positive.. (sometimes blow that) but then read these post and come away much stronger. And like you, God is my strength. I am letting Him hold my hand through this.
You will get my prayers and best wishes. Some excellent ladies here that have fought some long battles. They have the answer to almost everything. They will be of so much help you will find much of your time full of laughter and just plain ol' appreciation of goodness and fine people.
Thank you, Brissance. Because of it's aggressiveness and coming from a smaller town, my OBGyn knew it was critical to have it removed ASAP. Plus, I feel she felt somewhat responsible for letting me take the month of April off with me thinking it was a polyp. So, when this particular doctor she recommended said he could see me and do surgery within 7 days, I jumped all over it, doing little research, just wanting it removed ASAP. So, as far as a treatment team, I'm not sure that I have that. I'm seeing a wonderful oncologist in Sacramento. He has a nurse working alongside him and a young gal who schedules his appointments and surgeries. He did the Davinci method hysterectomy and being a week and a half into it, I feel as though there are no complications. When you say a "Good Team" working for me, what does that consist of?
Will you be receiving chemotherapy? My oncologist said because of the type I have, he will start chemotherapy in 4 weeks and radiation will be determined when the lab results comes back.
I feel so blessed to have found this group. I have read through some of the various posts and it seems like they are great friends and have come to understand each person's personality well through this network. I, too, will add you to my prayer list. Thank you, for your encouragement and warm welcome.
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Thank you, Nancy, for yourunknown said:Hi Charissa
I'm so sorry you are scared, and armed with little knowledge about what your diagnosis is. That is the most terrifying, but I can say for a fact that I have UPSC (uterine papillary serous carcinoma) which they also grade as agressive, and I have made it through front line chemo ( treatments) and can say that although I didn't like the chemo, it didn't kill me or even come close to it Common treatment for an agressive cancer is chemo/with or without radiation, which most of the ladies on here have already been through with success. Please don't jump to conclusions, my cancer was grade IIIc, stage 3 which meant they found it in one lymph node along with 3/4ths way through the uterus. I don't worry about tomorrow, I live for today with every expectation that I'll be around for years to come. We can answer any question you ave when you get into stage/treatments, and this group is particularly supportive of all of us. I too appreciation having faith to prop me up, when I feel unsure. Hugs Nancy
Thank you, Nancy, for your support and encouragement. I was wondering what the UPSC stood for. Thank you, for writing it out. No one has said exactly what type I have (nor have I asked) just that it is serious, aggressive, unpredictable and they can't promise me anything. I took the diagnosis of Uterine Adenocarcinoma (Hcc) of my discharge form, but in doing research that seems to be a vague diagnosis.
Thank you, for sharing your stage and grade. I should be receiving my lab information in the next week or two. It has been kind of comforting believing, for now, it was all removed and not truly knowing anything else. Sometimes, my mind is my worse enemy. God has been good at pouring His peace, joy, and comfort into me. Quite honeslty, my heart breaks when I think of possibly having to leave my two sweet, loving, and precious daughters - more reason not to give up and put up a good fight! Hugs back to you.
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You're very wise. That I willunknown said:Charissa, one more thing to consider
I would put a little distance between myself and my friend if she is telling me that chemo will kill me and to go with the diet route. Unless she is a medical person, I would suspect she is a fear monger, only reading old stuff from the internet and not fully informed. Do not let her influence your decision for treatment, that is between you and your doctor. Diet is usually an adjuvant therapy along with conventional therapy. I believe some of the larger cancer centers focus on both standard treatment, (surgery, chemo, radiation) and also alternative treatments such as diet. These would be in major cities, which are not available to many of us. Needless to say, it will help you to have a gynocologist/oncologist if possible to be your doctor as they have treated female cancers and have many ideas on treatments outside the normal if standard treatments don't result in desired NED (no evidence of disease). Hugs Nancy
You're very wise. That I will have to do! Thank you. She was caught by surprise with my diagnosis and her mind rushed to the worse. She began crying saying, "Please, please promise me not to do chemo. Everyone we know who did chemo is now dead." Luckily, I know a couple people who have done it and have lived many years since - one being my father (who is still alive 30 years later and remained cancer free). I feel his testimony alone would be a strong enough reason to move forward with it, if need be. But, I do love and sincerely appreciate having wise women counsel me and keep me in check. Especially, because this, again, is a subject very new to me. Blessing with hugs.
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Thank you, Pinky104. What apinky104 said:Charissa
I agree that you shouldn't listen to your friend. I probably wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't gone through chemo. I had stage IVb (the highest possible stage) of UPSC, which is a grade 3 cancer (all grade 3's are aggressive). My cancer was an adenocarcinoma in my uterus, and had spread to both ovaries, the omentum, and the small intestine. I didn't even start bleeding until very late in the game, a couple of months before my diagnosis. I had surgery and chemo, nothing else. I was given Emend to take a couple of days before chemo so I never was nauseous and never vomited from chemo. My blood count did drop and I got very short of breath after 3 rounds of chemo. I had to have a blood transfusion of one unit of blood for that during my chemo and I had also had one with two units of blood a couple of days after my surgery because I had lost so much blood. Besides having my cancer removed during surgery, I had my gallbladder and appendix removed because I had gallstones (and they routinely remove the appendix so it won't cause appendicitis at a later date). I was in the hospital for 6 days. It's now been six years since my surgery, and I'm still alive and kicking. My check-ups have shown I have no evidence of disease. I did have one scare where a mass was found on a scan, but after several repeat scans, the thing hadn't grown, so my gyn/onc said it couldn't be cancer. Cancer always grows. I definitely think you should go for chemo and give it a try. Everyone doesn't get cured with chemo, but I think you're putting yourself at more risk by going with diet alone. It's fine to do that in addition to chemo. A lot of people swear by turmeric. I haven't tried that and probably should have. This cancer is a really strange thing. Some of the people who exercise regularly and eat healthy diets still get it. A lot of overweight people with poor diets and poor habits like smoking often don't. It's really mind boggling. If I were you, I'd get out the big guns to go after it and give myself the best chance for long term survival that I can.
Thank you, Pinky104. What a blessing for me to read your testimony. I knew this site was where I needed to be vs all the other negative stuff on-line. What a wonderful place for us to share our success and stories vs. just being a statistic on some study. How comforting. As I move forward in my treatment, I will cling to all of these messages.
It feels so wonderful knowing I'm not alone in this and that many of you have walked this path successfully before me. My eyes are filled with tears of joy, as I keep reading one after another reply from all of you. For some reason, the messages aren't coming through to my e-mails. I truly didn't check this all day, thinking no one had replied. I thought, what the heck, before retiring to bed I'll check my computer. Lo and behold, I have tons of support on here. Yippee! I will sleep wonderful tonight - clinging to all of the encouragement and success. I am so elated for you and for it not reoccuring in the past six years. You are where God wants you, here - testifying to all of us His majesty, glory, and might.
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Thank you, for the additionalNoTimeForCancer said:Charissa, it is VERY
Charissa, it is VERY overwhelming to hear "cancer" but you are not alone. You might want to ask exactly what kind of cancer you are dealing with. Type I (unbelieveably called 'typcial garden vareity type' sometimes) and can be Grade 1 through 3, and the other, Type II is more agressive and always Grade 3. There are Stages which range from I through IV, how far it has spread, so for example, I had Type II, Grade 3, Stage 1A - agressive but caught very early. Now, don't think the agressive, high stage cancer is an automatic death sentence. There are women here who are at least 5 years survivors and more. I don't want to scare you, but you will want to ask questions.
Everyone is different on chemo, natural, etc...and it is a personal choice you have to make. Hopefully you are working with a gynecologic oncologist who specializes in these cancers. I chose the 'sandwich' treatment, which is chemo/radiation (external and internal (brachytherapy)/chemo that was recommended to me and have always tried to watch what I eat. From reading what ladies have posted here there are some variations to the treatment, but it is what is being given at this point. Chemo consists of powerful drugs and the side effects vary, as the women on this board have experienced, but I decided for myself that I wanted to do everything I could do to fight this beast, but it is always your choice.
When you visit for your follow up you might want to take someone with you who can take notes so you can concentrate on what is being said and you have a second set of ears.
Finally, there is a lot of information on this board, so you may want to read some of the older posts as well. You are not alone and there are SURVIVORS out there - you are reading their posts. Please ask any question you want here, there really is nothing off limits as you will see.
Try to take a breath, I promise you, you are going to surprise yourself when you look back.
Thank you, for the additional information and education. Again, because I am only two weeks into this I can't even answer all the questions my husband, friends, and familes have. They read things and hear things other people tell them and then ask me, what actually is cancer? What is the difference between stage and grade? What type do you have (not that they would know the difference. Lol!)? Isn't chemotherapy less aggressive then radiation? Which treament causes you to loose your hair? And, then I hear stories of women with Type 1 Uterine cancer who had their female parts removed, needing no chemo or radiation and are alive many years later, undermining the seriousness of what the oncologist said about my particular cancer. This is a whole new world that I never suspected I would be in. And, I did everything hoping to prevent ever being here.
I will be sure to take my mom and sister with me, as my second set of ears. It was comical, as I normally am very private, but allowed them in my first appointment with my oncologist. But, we had to have the little talk prior to me allowing them to attend, "Now, this is a time for me and my oncologist to establish a relationship. You guys are just here to listen. If at the end of our meeting you did not get an answer to any of your questions, I will allow you to ask then. Otherwise, let me and my doctor primarily do the talking. I'd like it to remain calm and structured." They were so good, just sitting back and listening. I was so proud of them. At the end of our consultation, they had no unanswered questions and were extremely comfortable with my oncologist and the care I was going to receive.
I know there is no turning back, only moving forward from here on out. I am embracing my diagnosis, knowing God does not give us more then we can handle. So far, He has equipped me with the tools necessary to not fall apart and keep moving forward each day with a smile and perseverence. And, most importantly, He led me to you guys. For this, I am extremely grateful. I'm taking my deep breath and looking forward to surprising myself. Big hugs to you!
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