My boyfriend has Fibrolamellar hepatocellular carcinoma... Need help please..

missjillian

Hi all,

My boyfriend has Fibrolamellar hepatocellular carcinoma, which he was diagnosed with about a week before we officially started dating (after he'd chased be for about a year).. So, I had to decide, knowing how hard this was going to be, if I should get myself involved in this or not. He's so worth it, so obviously, I chose yes.

 

I'm having a lot of trouble though, mostly with trying to keep my feelings at bay as he's going through this as every day it seems more and more like he's trying to push me away. To top it off, he lives in Boston and I live in Tulsa and we only get to see each other every couple of months. At first, he was very open with me about what he was going through, about the experiemental treatments he was in, and was still very loving towards me.

 

Recently, he's become more closed off, doesn't talk to me about much, and i'm left with google tabs such as, "How to help your boyfriend through cancer", "Fibrolamellar hepatocellular carcinoma", "handling a long distance relationship" and "making yourself care less" 99% of the time.

 

My boyfriend is very independent. He's the CEO of his company, a father, and jokes that he's a demi God and I don't think he really ever though that something like this could happen to him. Prior to this, he's been the most understanding, loving, caring, intelligent man i've ever known. I don't want to lose him, I want to do this right. I should also add, that it's very much a roller coaster. Usually it's about a 3 day stint either way, he'll wake up and be his old self that i adore so much and it'll last about 3-5 days, and then he'll wake up and be closed off and incomplacent for a week.

 

My biggest thing is this: All I care about is helping him. I can handle myself, and that's fine.. But Whether that means standing back and letting him do his thing, pushing him to let me back in, jumping on a plane when he has a treatment, staying still in tulsa... I don't know. I don't know what helps. 

 

Does anyone have any suggestions? They'd be very appreciated.

 

Thanks,

Jillian