Interesting article

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Trubrit
Trubrit Member Posts: 5,800 Member

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-36100805

I found this article very interesting. 

We are all different in the way we handle this and other issues in our lives. There is no right or wrong way. 

Sue 

Comments

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,280 Member
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    Yep, my wife was too social

    Yep, my wife was too social for my diagnosis to be a secret, but I never felt like hiding aspects of my life anyway. I understand those that do, because cancer does change the way people look at, and act with you, but that's their issue. If somone wants to ask, fine I'll tell them details. If they don't ask, that's fine too, there's lots more enjoyable things to talk about................................................Dave

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
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    Very interesting. I don't

    Very interesting. I don't talk about it unless it comes up. I had a freind that would tell EVERYONE, even people she'd just met and I realized she was using it as a way to get special treatment and for people to tell her how amazing/brave/special she was. Ugh. 

  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
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    When to play the "C" card...

    When to play the "C" card...

    Tough decision! It's always good to make a list and keep it handy. You don't want to have to look for it when you're in a hurry.... I made my list to fit the size of a credit card, and pressure sealed it at Walmart. Fits into the wallet nicely and is always easy to read.

    My list of "C" card entries:

    1. Sorry officer, I didn't realize I was speeding. I just learned my dad's got cancer and he was going to tell my mom as soon as we hung up. I wanted to be there for them [wipe eye for emphasis].

    2. My daughter-in-law just told me she has cancer. I ran out of the house so fast, I forgot my wallet on the counter; can I pay you tomorrow? [use a shaky voice]

    3. I didn't see you there when I was backing up, I foolishly answered my cellphone. It was my doctor telling me I have stage four cancer... I have my car insurance card here someplace... I can't think straight right now.. should have never answered the phone...so sorry.. I don't know how long I have to live, I lost the call when I backed into your car...[sob a little between words - dump papers from glove box on floor.] Can I call you later with the information?

    4. Honey please, I don't care what she told you about me getting her pregnant, it's not true! I hardly know her! I don't even know her full name. How could I? I couldn't get her pregnant even if I wanted to, I have late stage four testicular cancer; I didn't want to tell you and make you worry, I'm sorry, I don't want you to worry. Why is that woman bothering us? I have enough problems. Is she after money?
    Why me? Why me?? I don't even know that woman. [sob uncontrollably]

    (I'll just do side one for now, but you got the idea of how to do it, right?)

    Be well,

    John

  • DD3
    DD3 Member Posts: 136 Member
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    John23 said:

    When to play the "C" card...

    When to play the "C" card...

    Tough decision! It's always good to make a list and keep it handy. You don't want to have to look for it when you're in a hurry.... I made my list to fit the size of a credit card, and pressure sealed it at Walmart. Fits into the wallet nicely and is always easy to read.

    My list of "C" card entries:

    1. Sorry officer, I didn't realize I was speeding. I just learned my dad's got cancer and he was going to tell my mom as soon as we hung up. I wanted to be there for them [wipe eye for emphasis].

    2. My daughter-in-law just told me she has cancer. I ran out of the house so fast, I forgot my wallet on the counter; can I pay you tomorrow? [use a shaky voice]

    3. I didn't see you there when I was backing up, I foolishly answered my cellphone. It was my doctor telling me I have stage four cancer... I have my car insurance card here someplace... I can't think straight right now.. should have never answered the phone...so sorry.. I don't know how long I have to live, I lost the call when I backed into your car...[sob a little between words - dump papers from glove box on floor.] Can I call you later with the information?

    4. Honey please, I don't care what she told you about me getting her pregnant, it's not true! I hardly know her! I don't even know her full name. How could I? I couldn't get her pregnant even if I wanted to, I have late stage four testicular cancer; I didn't want to tell you and make you worry, I'm sorry, I don't want you to worry. Why is that woman bothering us? I have enough problems. Is she after money?
    Why me? Why me?? I don't even know that woman. [sob uncontrollably]

    (I'll just do side one for now, but you got the idea of how to do it, right?)

    Be well,

    John

    Very

    interesting article Sue. I agree there is no right way or wrong way to deal with the big C after diagnosis.  When my wife was diagnosed I didn't tell anyone but a very few close friends and they were directed not to speak about it.  My wife was kind of neutral.  She didn't say anything but didn't dodge questions when asked.  My primary focus (besides my wife) was our two boys. One was in college and one was a senior in high school.  I was determined not to let this stupid disease affect there lives.  I tried my hardest to let them live their lives.  Sure they would have done anything, anytime for thier Mom.  But, I wanted them to live life.  Not sure that makes sense.  Hind sight being 20/20 I probably (for my own good) should have reached out and asked for help during my wife's treatment.  Most likely would have made the journey easier.   Okay I have babbled enough. Laughing