husband with nslc stage 3

kcdalene

Due to having horrible pain in husbands right shoulder, i took him to the ER. He has had COPD for over 20 years with the last couple years at stage 4. after the ER doctors did tests, it was determinded that he had lung cancer. He was admitted and was tested to see if he could withstand surgery. He couldn't. So they did do a biospy and determinded that he had stage 3 NSLC. They gave him less than one year. The only thing they could do was give him 4 treatments of pallative chemo and 10 treatments of pallative radaition. A week later they started the treatments. Chemo, one treatment every 3 weeks and radiation every week day for 2 weeks. His onocologist put him on 30 mg of morphine x2 day. At end of first week, he missed the Thursday radaition treatment due to not feeling good and having pain going down his right arm. I called his oncologist, who just upped his morphine to 60 mg x2 plus 15 mg every 4 to 6 hours as needed. Friday, he still did not go for radaition, however come Monday he did go. He also went Tuesday. On Wendesday, his radaition doctor wanted me to come in with him to go over all his medication. They felt he wasn't taking his medicine correctly, which turned out correct. We got that starightened out. 

The next morning, as I was getting ready to go to work, I tried to wake him up. He was unresponsive. His eyes were open but wouldn't respond. I called for the ambulance.It was determinded that he was on too high of medication. He stayed in hospital for a week, where he finished all his radaition treatments. Then they sent him to a nursing home to gain strength. He was there for over 6 weeks. During that time, he contracted a very highly contigous intestine infection. The day he was released, we had an appointment with his oncoloigst. We were told there was nothing more they could do. He was taking completly off morphine and was prescibed 25 mg Fentanyl pain patches and 5 mg of oxycodone. Hospice was called in. We were told due to everything, he now only has about 3 months, which will be the mid of April. Hospice comes in twice a week, hiusband is on oxygen all the time, as as now his patches has been raised to 150 mg. He can't stand to be touched from his waist up, front or back. He is always in pain. He does bring up alot of mecus . Due to the medication, he sometimes thinks he is somewhere else. He does sleep all the time, but then he does takes sleeping pills.

I do not see any signs of him going down hill, except for the pain getting worse. He doesnt go anywhere and is very inactive. he is either sleeping or sitting in his recliner watching tv. He has never been a big eater. A simple hotdog would satifiy him even before his cancer and that would be for all day. He has lost approx. 40 pounds taking him to 118 lbs. He does drink a protein shake every day. When hospice was here on Friday, his BP was 77 over 58. The nurse didnt think it was anything to worry about.

My question...is this normal? Hospice said everything would come to a head about 2 or 3 days before he dies. Is this normal?? As time gets nearer, I keep watching for more signs.So I can start my FMLA and be with him 24 hours a day.  I don't want to start my FMLA too early and not have it avaiable if he should last longer. Plus he doesn't feel I need to take off work yet. But I don't really see any changes.  Has anyone had a family member where no surgery or real treatment has been done? He did get all 10 treatments fo pallative radaition and only 1 treatment of chemo. They said he couldnt do any more chemo or it would kill him sooner.

Is there a chance that he can live longer than told, since he really has not had any treatments? 

Alot2live4

you & your husband

I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through. No one should have to suffer like that. I can't answer any of your questions because I did receive treatments (chemo) for my lung cancer. I think Hospice generally knows what they're talking about, but your husbamd is in the Lord's hands. I hope you have the time to spend with him in his final days. I will say a prayer for you both. I sure hope you have support for yourself, family or friends.