My mother passed away

littlemisskitty

My mother passed away on January 5th, 2016. I was with her while she passed. My sister had gotten to spend time with her two days prior and dad had gotten to say goodbye the night before. She was truly a fighter and was determined to beat the cancer even up to two days prior to her passing. 

 

She was told at Thanksgiving she had a year to live if she participated in trials after the new year. Then the day after Christmas we were told she was never supposed to last until Christmas according to her file and instead that she had only 2 weeks to live. My mom was still walking at this point but as we left the hospital with heavy hearts and in tears, she fell because the cancer had eaten through her femur bone. At first the doctors were optimist about repairing it but after x-rays and MRIs they determined her spine was too far gone for a spinal tap and her leg was pretty much too eaten to replace. I pushed for the hospital to release her and arranged for hospice to come to the house and set up everything she needed. Within 4 hours, she had a special hospital bed with a handle that hung down so she was able to lift herself to go to the bathroom, a few bed pans, some bed pads as she would be bedridden and a special suction machine. She also was given a nebulizer to help with her breathing. She spent the next day with my sister and her children. Since she had missed the new years, she tried to drink eggnog with us, enjoyed the kids playing in the room with her, both kids (2 and 4 year old) crawled up with her in the bed and snuggled up close while playing with their tablet and coloring. She had a good day. The next day she spent the time with me. We talked and she even drank a full bottle of ensure. She was talking about getting a special lift chair to sit in since even though her leg was broken, she thought with help she could sit in a recliner and watch movies with us still. She was also talking about getting back on ensure. She was upset the hospital had told her she couldn't drink them there and wanted to get herself back on them to enjoy her life the next few weeks. She was also determined to beat her 2 weeks and try for the months she was told she had. That night hospice came to check on her and decided she needed morphine. Even though her pain was managed, they said the nebulizer wasn't going to help her bit of raspy breathing. Mom insisted she could breathe but they insisted it would make her breathe better not end her life. That night and the next day she didn't really wake up only to moan loudly. I wasn't sure if it was because she was unable to fully wake up due to the morphine or if the morphine wasnt working as well as oxyfast. We will never know I guess. The night (Sunday night) dad ended up in the room because I had to go help my grandma to the bathroom. She had called out to dad after hearing his voice requesting me to help grandma in the bathroom. Dad went into the room after I basically shoved him in and he sat with her and he talked with her until she slept. That was the last time she woke up. In the wee hours of the morning her breathing turned shallow and raspy. She was no longer with us but her body was still breathing. I called hospice and they said she would last another day or so. Dad went to work, grandma's helper came for her. I wouldn't leave mom's side. I had stayed by her side not sleeping the last few days and there was no way I'd miss the last few hours. Within hours, at 11:02, she took her last breath. 

 

She was brave and determined even to the end. She will be missed.

 

You guys were amazing to be as helpful as you were. She had learned so much from you guys including the salt water mixes, the magic mouthwash, and the suction machine. She learned about ensures through the site as well as what to expect during her 37 radiation and 8 chemo treatments. You guys were a great blessing to us both and I hope you continue to be for those who come in the future here seeking help.

wmc

I am truly, sorry for your loss.

I remember the up date in December and it was not looking good, then on Jan 5th she passed. She fought so hard as it went through out her whole body and the broken tale bone, then the leg. There are no words that will take the hurt away. However, you will always have the memories and they in time seem to always float to the surface as the painful ones sink and get smaller. Time does not heal all wounds, but it does get easier, and less painful. I lost my mother 22 years ago and my Father 31. Yet at times it seems like just the other day.

Try to remember that she is no longer in pain, and in a much better place. Also, you were able to be with her and their for as well. It won't help with the hurt now, but later it will. Sad we lose them, but I was with my mother when she needed me the most, and I was with my dad and got to say our goodby's. I was not with him at the end as I was told if I shower up in the middle of the week he would know just how sick he was. The funny thing was he did now, as we had some long talks. I was luckyer than most as I had time to say good by. So many never had the chance. Cancer is so hard on familys, but in a very strange way, we get the time to love them and say our goodby's that so many don't get. Over my lifetime I have heard so many people regreat they never got to say, I love you, or even goodby. We got that chance, and you were their. I do wish you and your family Peace, as you are part of this family as well.

Bill

Noellesmom

Prayers lifted

I am so sorry for your loss but glad you were with her at the end.

I was with my mother, too, and am so glad.

Grandmax4

The battle has ended

Peace be with you & your family, your Mom fought the good fight, now, she can RIP..so sorry for your loss

Ladylacy

Prayers

Prayers for you and your family.  It is so hard when we lose a loved one but just remember she is at peace.  I try to remember that when I am grieving for my husband who just passed.  Hospice is right, morphine helps them to breathe and it is the drug they give to heart patients.  My husband was on liquid morphine every 2-4 hours at the last depending on his pain level along with oxygen.  In fact I can remember that hospice had my mother on morphine 12 years ago to help with her breathing.  She died from congestive heart failure.

Wishing you and your family peace and comfort

donfoo

prayers and thoughts

I'm sorry to read of your mother's passing. It seems hospice was helpful and made her comfortable as could be. Pain is often such an ordeal, it seems like she was able to avoid such suffering and pass in peace. I pray for you and your family. Don

swopoe

I am so very sorry for the

I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. May her memory be a blessing to you always.

Barbaraek

Losing a parent is so very hard...

It sounds like you were a great daughter and "did right" by your mom, staying by her side through all the hard moments. Bless you for that. I wish you peace and comfort in the days ahead, remembering that your mom is no longer in any pain or suffering. May her memory be eternal.

Barbara

npcsurvivor

Sorry about your loss

Sorry to learn about your mom. May she rest in peace. Reading her story reminded me of my aunt's passing two years ago on Jan 3rd. Her bladder cancer had metastasized to her bones.

MrsBD

Prayers

Prayers for you and your family. What a blessing to be able to help your mom during this time! May God comfort you in the days ahead.