Journey Update

SilentRenegade

Hi All,

It's been a while... Been busy. Found out I'm expecting my first child in July - so there is that excitement buzzing. 

Wanted to give an update on my dad. I think the last time I posted, he had a severe bleeding incident but came out of it as if nothing happened. During that incident, they stated that his thyroid was out of control, and sent him to the University of Pennsylvania (after a failed removal attempt at the local hospital). His thyroid was massive by time he got to UPenn, but the surgeon is one of the best and decided to take it on, and was successful in removing 95-98% of the tumor/thyroid, which was a huge deal. Unfortunately, there were some complications with the breathing tube, so he ended up in ICU for 3 days, released 5 days after the initial surgery... Once again, was in good shape after this.

Mind you, he still has Stage IV colon cancer during this... 

During his stay, they found out he had medullary thyroid cancer, but weren't sure if it had spread, since the original oncologist never biopsied the lungs or liver. At this point, they hadn't done much, so they did biopsy since there was slight growth over the last 6 months, and confirmed they were from the colon cancer. He went under radiation therapy for a couple of weeks, but ended up with thrush and the threat of a feeding tube, and he refused to continue. The radiation worked a lot better than expected and stabilized the small tumor left. After that, he had no desire to eat or do anything. This caused a lot of fights between him and my mom (his primary caretaker). His doctors still are amazed at how he continuously drove himself over an hour each way every day for weeks to do radiation therapy. 

Now, he goes in for another CT scan on the 27th and an appointment with the thyroid oncologist on March 3rd. He is now eating like a horse again, but not gaining weight and feels that food just goes through him, so he's depressed. The weather isn't helping either, we live in NJ, so it's been kinda nice, but mostly miserable. He just wants spring to come. 

Oh, he also had a cardiac event on New Year's Eve and after an emergency catheterization, they found he had "broken heart syndrome" not a heart attack, but has to be on meds to strengthen his heart. 

It's been quite a journey the last 2.5 years... I saw him today and he does seem to have a lot more energy recently (cleaning the house, going to the store, taking out the trash, etc) but seems so down and depressed. I think he's worried - he wants something to go well for once... I see so many positives... His colon tumors went away (Complete Response) when he had radiation therapy on them. He has already beaten the odds - he was diagnosed at 65, has (as he puts it) almost died 3 times, but comes through it each time. 

I hope he's not getting tired or discouraged. My mom has been under a lot of stress with the whole thing and has been lashing out a lot. I try to talk her down, but I cannot comprehend how she feels, I don't pretend to. Thanks for listening... and any advice on this would be great. 

jen2012

Wow, your dad has been

Wow, your dad has been through a lot.  So has your mom.  Her lashing out is most likely out of exhaustion, fear, anger at being in this position.   All of those times he's almost died has been horrible for him im sure, but she's seeing it from a different and scary angle.  I get a bit jealous that my husband has the benefit of some hefty pain meds when he's at his worst and isn't really aware of all that's happening...haha, sorta kidding, but not really!  I've considered asking for my own sedation!

i bet they'd both benefit greatly from a vacation if that is possible.  And also anti depressants perhaps, maybe talking to a therapist, or just getting out and doing stuff..together or on their own.  do they go out for dinners or shows or anything?

congrats to you and your exciting news.  That will probably give them something wonderful to look forward to.

good luck on the scan

beaumontdave

I find myself pushing Xanax a

I find myself pushing Xanax a lot on posts like this, because it helped me when I was stressed. It is an anti-anxiety drug that takes the edge off stressful moments. If your dad is down a lot of the time then he may be helped more with an anti-depressant, which you take every day. You might suggest your mom and dad look in to seeing if they would benefit from either type of medication, this road is stressful as hell for patients and caregivers and as much as some think you're supposed to adapt and learn to cope with this new normal, a little help can go a long way, as it did for me and my late wife. Ativan helped her sleep more easily, but the Xanax I had definitely could take her mind off obsessing about her cancer and treatment stuff. I almost never need it nowadays, but I'm very grateful that the doc suggested it, back when I was diagnosed............................................Dave

Trubrit

Meditation...

works for me.

Its not everybodys cup of tea, but definitely worth a try. 

I am so sorry to hear your dad's woes, and happy to hear your good news. Congratulations! My 'first' baby just celebrated his 27th birthday yesterday, but I still remember the joy he was as a baby and toddler. You will love being a mum. 

See if your mum and dad might be interested in meditation. Its not a religion, you don't have to be a Buddist, you don't need to wear funky, hippy clothes, you just need to be able to sit quietly and clear your mind. I'm a very active, almost hyperactive person, and did NOT think I could meditate; but during treatment, I was desperate to find something to calm myslef. I do not take medication, thus, was not willing to look at pills, which work great for many people. To my surprise I found that I was able to meditate very easily. To the point of being able to calm myself even while in a crowded room, standing. 

I hope your dads scans come out clear. How unfair it seems for someone to suffer two types of Cancer. 

Its good to see you pop back in. 

When is the babe due?  I hope you come in and share the happy event. We love good news. 

Sue - Trubrit

SilentRenegade

jen2012 said:

Wow, your dad has been

Wow, your dad has been through a lot.  So has your mom.  Her lashing out is most likely out of exhaustion, fear, anger at being in this position.   All of those times he's almost died has been horrible for him im sure, but she's seeing it from a different and scary angle.  I get a bit jealous that my husband has the benefit of some hefty pain meds when he's at his worst and isn't really aware of all that's happening...haha, sorta kidding, but not really!  I've considered asking for my own sedation!

i bet they'd both benefit greatly from a vacation if that is possible.  And also anti depressants perhaps, maybe talking to a therapist, or just getting out and doing stuff..together or on their own.  do they go out for dinners or shows or anything?

congrats to you and your exciting news.  That will probably give them something wonderful to look forward to.

good luck on the scan

They never go out. Mainly

They never go out. Mainly because he doesn't like food.  He eats, but doesn't enjoy it. My mom is on anxiety meds - finally. They are very helpful. I wish they'd do something fun, and they may when the weather is better!

SilentRenegade

beaumontdave said:

I find myself pushing Xanax a

I find myself pushing Xanax a lot on posts like this, because it helped me when I was stressed. It is an anti-anxiety drug that takes the edge off stressful moments. If your dad is down a lot of the time then he may be helped more with an anti-depressant, which you take every day. You might suggest your mom and dad look in to seeing if they would benefit from either type of medication, this road is stressful as hell for patients and caregivers and as much as some think you're supposed to adapt and learn to cope with this new normal, a little help can go a long way, as it did for me and my late wife. Ativan helped her sleep more easily, but the Xanax I had definitely could take her mind off obsessing about her cancer and treatment stuff. I almost never need it nowadays, but I'm very grateful that the doc suggested it, back when I was diagnosed............................................Dave

My mom finally got something.

My mom finally got something. My dad needs something but won't admit it. 

vtspa6

I am betting the new baby

I am betting the new baby will help him get out of his depression.  Who cannot smile when they see that sweet baby!