Inept medical groups

david54

Venting here, again! Have any of you had to deal with medical groups, particularly receptionists and lab personnell that were terrible?!

My spouse had to have a CBC and differential drawn at a local lab with results faxed to her oncologist in another city. When she went in (She had a very low white count) she asked them to please fax the results to her oncologist by the end of the day because it would determine if we would have to drive the 200 miles for her clinical trial. The lab tech replied "I can't guarentee you any results by today, out phleb is out and we don't know when the'll be in, and we don't fax results on Friday afternoons." She also refused to wear a mask telling my spouse "you are wearing one so it won't make any difference." (That was not the point)

They told my spouse the day before that there would not be a problem with the lab work and faxing it to another MD. So much for clear communication at that facility!

My wife called me in tears. I told her to meet me at our local hospital for the lab work and it turned out okay.

But, my concern is how can a lab treat a person like that? A cancer patient in particular? We will never go back to that lab. I hold a long memory.

Thanks for letting me complain to someone who may understand...my rage!

 

 

Ladylacy

Personnel

When my husband was undergoing his first round of chemo, the oncologist had one nurse that was very rude and she and I would have words.  It was a shame because the oncologist and the rest of his staff were great but this one nurse always had an attitude.  Once I had to rush my husband to the ER because he was throwing up blood and I explained to them that he was a cancer patient and needed to be seen asap.  We waited and waited and every time I asked they would say he was next and then they would call someone else.  Finally after an hour he wanted to go so I told them we were leaving and said no he is next and I said too bad and that if he died I would be suing the hospital.  The whole time the staff up front were just joking and laughing with each other.  I was so mad but he wanted to leave and he wouldn't go to another hospital that was 15 miles away.  He was lucky because apparently it wasn't that bad but I was mad.  Told him next time I would call an ambulance although we only live less than 5 minutes from the hospital.  Yes the waiting room was full and the majority of people waiting were Spanish speaking only and didn't appear that ill but they were taken first.  I also told them that they had better not bill our insurance because I would definitely fight them.

david54

Ladylacy said:

Personnel

When my husband was undergoing his first round of chemo, the oncologist had one nurse that was very rude and she and I would have words.  It was a shame because the oncologist and the rest of his staff were great but this one nurse always had an attitude.  Once I had to rush my husband to the ER because he was throwing up blood and I explained to them that he was a cancer patient and needed to be seen asap.  We waited and waited and every time I asked they would say he was next and then they would call someone else.  Finally after an hour he wanted to go so I told them we were leaving and said no he is next and I said too bad and that if he died I would be suing the hospital.  The whole time the staff up front were just joking and laughing with each other.  I was so mad but he wanted to leave and he wouldn't go to another hospital that was 15 miles away.  He was lucky because apparently it wasn't that bad but I was mad.  Told him next time I would call an ambulance although we only live less than 5 minutes from the hospital.  Yes the waiting room was full and the majority of people waiting were Spanish speaking only and didn't appear that ill but they were taken first.  I also told them that they had better not bill our insurance because I would definitely fight them.

I hear you!

That's the scenario (ER) that would frustrate me the most-who was the triage nurse??!! I get concerned if my wife were to become neutropenic and not be able to fight off any infection. She would need antibiotics within the hour, would the ER make that a priority or place her in waiting alone with the strep throats and all kinds of viruses??

I am glad it turned out okay for you in that situation.  And I agree with you, the oncologists, family practice MD's have usually been great, its the staff in the systems that are difficult to deal with.

batey020

My brother has end stage

My brother has end stage colon cancer. We saw his PCP who was more concern about his elevated cholesterol than the man sitting in front of him looking tired, noticicle facial weight loss, and acites. His PCP went on to tell him his elevated cholesterol levels could affect his heart. 

 

Noellesmom

Ugh

It seems we all have our share of bad experiences with medical personnel who should not be in that field.

Just remember to breathe and be firm.  Last time Jim was in the hospital I jacked up a very young doctor who was too cocky.  I was tired (Jim had three ministrokes the day before) and the doctor's attitude was the last straw.  Before he left the room he was apologising to us and telling me I had educated him.  He even thanked me.  It was too late.  As nothing could be done for Jim, I checked us out of the hospital so he could sleep in his own bed.

If they won't help me take care of my husband, they better get out of my way.

LindaK.

Ugh

I have so many bad experiences I could write a book.  I felt like a constant complainer until we switched oncology centers and hospitals and never looked back. It was like going from hell to heaven.  I can't believe this crappy treatment continues.  My daughter was a nursing supervisor at the crappy hospital and she would throw holy hissy fits and things still didn't change.  She often thought she would be fired for her actions trying to help her dad.  Thankfully she left on her own and got a much better and more appreciated job at a much better hospital.  The one line I will never forget is this.  My husband was making his appointments for his ct scan and follow up appointment.  This crappy oncologist made people wait 2 weeks for results.  My husband asked if he could get the results sooner.  Nasty receptionist said "I know how you people are, you'll just have to wait"  Really, "YOU PEOPLE", the people with cancer in treatment anxious about scan results???  They had 4 receiptionists behind always closed glass.  They hated to make eye contact and there was often a 15 minute wait just to check in.  When my husband's cancer returned, I had to call the office (connected to the hospital he was in) to ask if one of the oncologists come come talk to us.  4 days later someone showed up and then left the room when they found out he had c-diff (more high quality nursing care).  It makes me so angry these thoughtless people work in this field.  I still have a lot of anger towards them since my husband passed away 16 months ago.

Noellesmom

LindaK. said:

Ugh

I have so many bad experiences I could write a book.  I felt like a constant complainer until we switched oncology centers and hospitals and never looked back. It was like going from hell to heaven.  I can't believe this crappy treatment continues.  My daughter was a nursing supervisor at the crappy hospital and she would throw holy hissy fits and things still didn't change.  She often thought she would be fired for her actions trying to help her dad.  Thankfully she left on her own and got a much better and more appreciated job at a much better hospital.  The one line I will never forget is this.  My husband was making his appointments for his ct scan and follow up appointment.  This crappy oncologist made people wait 2 weeks for results.  My husband asked if he could get the results sooner.  Nasty receptionist said "I know how you people are, you'll just have to wait"  Really, "YOU PEOPLE", the people with cancer in treatment anxious about scan results???  They had 4 receiptionists behind always closed glass.  They hated to make eye contact and there was often a 15 minute wait just to check in.  When my husband's cancer returned, I had to call the office (connected to the hospital he was in) to ask if one of the oncologists come come talk to us.  4 days later someone showed up and then left the room when they found out he had c-diff (more high quality nursing care).  It makes me so angry these thoughtless people work in this field.  I still have a lot of anger towards them since my husband passed away 16 months ago.

Toxic people

I know everyone is not suited to deal with seriously ill patients so they should JUST GET OUT.

Ugh.

aligirl

Homecare Nurse

We had a homecare nurse who couldn't get a good vein (my mom can only have blood drawn in one arm) and just said "oh well." The oncologist called the next day looking for it and we told them what happened. We have to drive 1 1/2 hr to their office to get the blood drawn. Luckily, my mom's primary care has a blood lab on site and the phlebotomist used to work in Onc so he understood the need. He said "If I have to prick you twice, I'm doing it wrong, so I never prick twice. You come in when you need to and you will cut the line." Also, the head of onc nursing at the hospital chewed out the homecar nurse for not doing anything when she couldn't get the blood. Moral is see if there is another lab or your primary is willing to help out. There are kind people out there. The rest of them will go to a special place in hell where they can't find veins and keep pricking them. :-D

Aurelia 5

Noellesmom said:

Ugh

It seems we all have our share of bad experiences with medical personnel who should not be in that field.

Just remember to breathe and be firm.  Last time Jim was in the hospital I jacked up a very young doctor who was too cocky.  I was tired (Jim had three ministrokes the day before) and the doctor's attitude was the last straw.  Before he left the room he was apologising to us and telling me I had educated him.  He even thanked me.  It was too late.  As nothing could be done for Jim, I checked us out of the hospital so he could sleep in his own bed.

If they won't help me take care of my husband, they better get out of my way.

My sincerest sympathy

Dear Mom, I'm so sorry about your Jim. That's great you educated the little Doctor. It's great there are people like you out there that will stand up to them. Doctors think they are God and have to be reminded that they aren't. 

Good for you! 

Aurelia 5

Make it public

Hi David

if it was me, I'd go right ahead and name the place and city and state right here so other people can avoid them. Then send them a note telling them to look at this site! Ha! Maybe that would tune them up a little. 

There's no excuse for treating patients badly. No excuse at all. We are already feeling bad, are worried sick, and that's the last thing we need. 

I hope you do it. 

Aurelia 

EZLiving66

aligirl said:

Homecare Nurse

We had a homecare nurse who couldn't get a good vein (my mom can only have blood drawn in one arm) and just said "oh well." The oncologist called the next day looking for it and we told them what happened. We have to drive 1 1/2 hr to their office to get the blood drawn. Luckily, my mom's primary care has a blood lab on site and the phlebotomist used to work in Onc so he understood the need. He said "If I have to prick you twice, I'm doing it wrong, so I never prick twice. You come in when you need to and you will cut the line." Also, the head of onc nursing at the hospital chewed out the homecar nurse for not doing anything when she couldn't get the blood. Moral is see if there is another lab or your primary is willing to help out. There are kind people out there. The rest of them will go to a special place in hell where they can't find veins and keep pricking them. :-D

I only have one "good" vein

I only have one "good" vein which quickly gets overused.  There was one time when the "count" was in the teens trying to get an IV started.  Yet, when I had my hysterectomy and later, my port placement, there was a nurse they called after the surgery nurses couldn't get a line in.  She was able to find a straight vein in my arm without being able to see it.  And, it was done with NO pain.  Why don't people with that gift be the specialists to get that needle in?  When my port was infected and unable to use, I told the chemo nurse they should get this woman to insert the chemo line....but no, she said she could do it.  After three painful tries with me in tears, she finally gave up and inserted it into my one overused vein which she orginally said was unusable.

The unnecessary pain and stress we have to go through is unacceptable!

Love,

Eldri

david54

Aurelia 5 said:

Make it public

Hi David

if it was me, I'd go right ahead and name the place and city and state right here so other people can avoid them. Then send them a note telling them to look at this site! Ha! Maybe that would tune them up a little. 

There's no excuse for treating patients badly. No excuse at all. We are already feeling bad, are worried sick, and that's the last thing we need. 

I hope you do it. 

Aurelia 

Hi Aureilia-
 
I called the

Hi Aureilia-

 

I called the administrator and she listened to me, she spoke to my wife, but we never recived a followup up call. We simply won't return there ever again. We share with others our experience, and sadly, it's not the first time, nor are we the first people to have to experience this poor service.

wolfen

david54 said:

Hi Aureilia-
 
I called the

Hi Aureilia-

 

I called the administrator and she listened to me, she spoke to my wife, but we never recived a followup up call. We simply won't return there ever again. We share with others our experience, and sadly, it's not the first time, nor are we the first people to have to experience this poor service.

Too Late Now

I debated on posting this as it is a horror story. It's been almost 3 years now since "medical professionals"  finally managed to kill my husband or at least hasten his death.

He was a diabetic heart patient who was diagnosed in Oct. 2012 with H&N and Lung Cancer. The doctor who biopsied his H&N was more concerned with keeping Obama out of office than treating his patients. He ordered a CT with contrast and a PET. He was well aware that Ron was a diabetic and should not have contrast dye, a fact we didn't know. The contrast dye caused his kidneys to start shutting down. He was admitted to ER where the nurse insisted on a catheter, despite Ron's protests. He was not to be catherized due to scar tissue from a previous surgery. The catheter was forced. I left the ER as I could not stand his screams(big, strong man that he was). He got a little better and was released. Shortly thereafter, his urine output was almost nil, so his first chemo was delayed. Off to a urogolist to check the problem. It was determined that the scar tissue had been pushed to almost cover the bladder opening, resulting in a urinary surgery. Still recovering from surgery, bag attached, he underwent port placement, feeding tube placement and removal of 13 teeth in the same day. Then he started the radiation treatments for the lung cancer. It was discovered that the port had been placed upside down, so it had to be redone. He was rushed to ER 3 times for profuse bleeding at the feeding tube site. The last time, the surgeon was bright enough to sew it in place. While all this was going on, his chemo was delayed. When it finally started in March 2013, the first treatment was brutal as he had a reaction to the benadryl. He managed to undergo a second treatment. A few days later, he was still lethargic and became incoherent. He was rushed to ER and was diagnosed with sepsis. He spent 2 weeks in the local hospital and was discharged. We were told the sepsis was gone, but as a precaution I was to keep him on IV sepsis meds. We got him home at 5:30 that evening. AT 10PM, all those meds and equipment were delivered. He could not stand, eat, go to the bathroom, or stay awake. I did not want him back in that hospital which is the only place an ambulance would take him. He could not climb into our truck. At 10:30. I put him in a cab and took him to the hospital that his Cardio was associated with. He still had the sepsis. They tried in vain to help him. He seemed to be getting better. I was checking on rehab facilities to place him in temporarily upon his release. On a Monday morning, his nurse called as he was agitated waiting for me to arrive. An hour later, he aspirated into his lungs. He was put on life support. Five very caring strangers called doctors told me there was nothing more that they could do. All of his systems were failing. After 5 days, I made the most gut wrenching decision of our 41 years together. I told them to turn off the machines. He was no longer there. Hospice brought him home. I stood by his side for 19 hours as he took one less breath every hour.

Sorry, this is so long. These are just the things that happened in a 6 month period. There were so many over the last 40years. It is hard to keep it out of my mind.

My daughter died from cancer a a year later. Her original Onc was a dingbat, the last one not much better. Her surgeon was brilliant throughout many surgeries over a 6 year period. Her hospice was from hell, allowing her to die screaming in pain and convulsions. Even harder to erase from my mind.

IMHO, 99% of doctors lost their ability to practice when they got that first big paycheck. It is very hard to find that remaining 1%.

BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE OR THAT OF YOUR PRECIOUS LOVED ONES.

EZLiving66

wolfen said:

Too Late Now

I debated on posting this as it is a horror story. It's been almost 3 years now since "medical professionals"  finally managed to kill my husband or at least hasten his death.

He was a diabetic heart patient who was diagnosed in Oct. 2012 with H&N and Lung Cancer. The doctor who biopsied his H&N was more concerned with keeping Obama out of office than treating his patients. He ordered a CT with contrast and a PET. He was well aware that Ron was a diabetic and should not have contrast dye, a fact we didn't know. The contrast dye caused his kidneys to start shutting down. He was admitted to ER where the nurse insisted on a catheter, despite Ron's protests. He was not to be catherized due to scar tissue from a previous surgery. The catheter was forced. I left the ER as I could not stand his screams(big, strong man that he was). He got a little better and was released. Shortly thereafter, his urine output was almost nil, so his first chemo was delayed. Off to a urogolist to check the problem. It was determined that the scar tissue had been pushed to almost cover the bladder opening, resulting in a urinary surgery. Still recovering from surgery, bag attached, he underwent port placement, feeding tube placement and removal of 13 teeth in the same day. Then he started the radiation treatments for the lung cancer. It was discovered that the port had been placed upside down, so it had to be redone. He was rushed to ER 3 times for profuse bleeding at the feeding tube site. The last time, the surgeon was bright enough to sew it in place. While all this was going on, his chemo was delayed. When it finally started in March 2013, the first treatment was brutal as he had a reaction to the benadryl. He managed to undergo a second treatment. A few days later, he was still lethargic and became incoherent. He was rushed to ER and was diagnosed with sepsis. He spent 2 weeks in the local hospital and was discharged. We were told the sepsis was gone, but as a precaution I was to keep him on IV sepsis meds. We got him home at 5:30 that evening. AT 10PM, all those meds and equipment were delivered. He could not stand, eat, go to the bathroom, or stay awake. I did not want him back in that hospital which is the only place an ambulance would take him. He could not climb into our truck. At 10:30. I put him in a cab and took him to the hospital that his Cardio was associated with. He still had the sepsis. They tried in vain to help him. He seemed to be getting better. I was checking on rehab facilities to place him in temporarily upon his release. On a Monday morning, his nurse called as he was agitated waiting for me to arrive. An hour later, he aspirated into his lungs. He was put on life support. Five very caring strangers called doctors told me there was nothing more that they could do. All of his systems were failing. After 5 days, I made the most gut wrenching decision of our 41 years together. I told them to turn off the machines. He was no longer there. Hospice brought him home. I stood by his side for 19 hours as he took one less breath every hour.

Sorry, this is so long. These are just the things that happened in a 6 month period. There were so many over the last 40years. It is hard to keep it out of my mind.

My daughter died from cancer a a year later. Her original Onc was a dingbat, the last one not much better. Her surgeon was brilliant throughout many surgeries over a 6 year period. Her hospice was from hell, allowing her to die screaming in pain and convulsions. Even harder to erase from my mind.

IMHO, 99% of doctors lost their ability to practice when they got that first big paycheck. It is very hard to find that remaining 1%.

BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE OR THAT OF YOUR PRECIOUS LOVED ONES.

That is just heartbreaking.

That is just heartbreaking.  It is so hard to find a caring, compassionate, competent doctor you can trust.  I feel that way about my GP but not about my gyno/oncologist.  So many times, insurance dictates who we can see and what they can do for us.  The week before my mother died of multiple problems the nursing home called me to ask if they should arrange transportation or I would be taking her for her colonoscopy.  I called her gerontologist - a wonderful man, to ask him what was going on.  He told me this was crazy; there was no way she needed a colonscopy - she had only a few days to live.  He called her gastroenterologist who argued it was "time" for it.  I wish I could have been privy to that conversation!!

I am sorry you had to go through your husband's and your daughter's deaths - it is infuriating that human beings are treated so inhumanely!

Love,

Eldri

wolfen

EZLiving66 said:

That is just heartbreaking.

That is just heartbreaking.  It is so hard to find a caring, compassionate, competent doctor you can trust.  I feel that way about my GP but not about my gyno/oncologist.  So many times, insurance dictates who we can see and what they can do for us.  The week before my mother died of multiple problems the nursing home called me to ask if they should arrange transportation or I would be taking her for her colonoscopy.  I called her gerontologist - a wonderful man, to ask him what was going on.  He told me this was crazy; there was no way she needed a colonscopy - she had only a few days to live.  He called her gastroenterologist who argued it was "time" for it.  I wish I could have been privy to that conversation!!

I am sorry you had to go through your husband's and your daughter's deaths - it is infuriating that human beings are treated so inhumanely!

Love,

Eldri

Thank You, Eldri

I have been a member of this forum for many years and witnessed many atrocious things that people have endured. There have been some fine things and success stories. Unfortunately, my family's story is not among the latter.

I try to refrain from posting the "bad stuff" as it is certainly not uplifing for so many here that are still fighting the beast. I want EVERYONE to live a success story. Sometimes it is not meant to be, I guess.

I aplologize if I have offended anyone. It is so hard to carry this burden alone.

Luv,

Wolfen

david54

wolfen said:

Thank You, Eldri

I have been a member of this forum for many years and witnessed many atrocious things that people have endured. There have been some fine things and success stories. Unfortunately, my family's story is not among the latter.

I try to refrain from posting the "bad stuff" as it is certainly not uplifing for so many here that are still fighting the beast. I want EVERYONE to live a success story. Sometimes it is not meant to be, I guess.

I aplologize if I have offended anyone. It is so hard to carry this burden alone.

Luv,

Wolfen

Wolfen-as far as I'm

Wolfen-as far as I'm concerned you have nothing to apologize for-I use this venue as a source to "Vent" and I too sometimes worry that perhaps I sound like "Mr. Negative." And, there are good days with the challengeing ones as well. For what it's worth from me, don't ever worry about offending anyone-this is a site where we should be able to vent, and process, no one understands the need for that than all of us here.

Take care

EZLiving66

wolfen said:

Thank You, Eldri

I have been a member of this forum for many years and witnessed many atrocious things that people have endured. There have been some fine things and success stories. Unfortunately, my family's story is not among the latter.

I try to refrain from posting the "bad stuff" as it is certainly not uplifing for so many here that are still fighting the beast. I want EVERYONE to live a success story. Sometimes it is not meant to be, I guess.

I aplologize if I have offended anyone. It is so hard to carry this burden alone.

Luv,

Wolfen

So many times we think we're

So many times we think we're alone in our negative experiences.  It's amazing though when we talk about them, other people are experiencing the same thing.  We need that validation!  One of my best friend's husband is a surgeon in the same medical group as my gyno-oncologist.  When I told him my "encounter" with his colleague he said there have been many complaints about this guy's bedside manner and patient followup.  That made me feel so much better - it wasn't personal after all; the guy is just a jerk - LOL!!

There is incompetence everywhere; in every field.  It's just really sad when that incompetence is in the medical field.

Love,

Eldri

fleet56

My wife and my issue is with the Oncologist

 

My wife has been diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. We went yesterday to the Oncologist for the first time and left not too happy. She has been through the usual mammograms, biopsy’s, MRIs and two GPs. All have been great and supportive of her wish to have me by her side. This is what I want to. I can’t imagine her facing this alone without any family and all of her caregivers have been supportive of this. That is until the Oncologist.

We went for the consult yesterday as I stated and she would not look at me at all. She referred to me as my wife’s “bodyguard” and that the practice and other people getting treatment in her office were her only support group. When my wife had a question, the doctor would nod and smile then dismiss her statement. Every place we researched treatment rooms encouraged having a family or loved on in the room. This doctor implied I could not be there because the other women would not feel comfortable with me in there. When I pressed her on this she back tracked and stated that there were men and children in the room too but they would form a bond with my wife and I would be awkward in the room.

We are at odds as to speak up to anyone since we don’t want to delay her treatment but feel this doctor is a bit bias against men. There is another woman doctor in the practice we could ask for but feel uncomfortable with saying anything.

Has anyone got any advice? Is it not common to have a spouse or loved one with you in the treatment room?

 

Ladylacy

fleet56 said:

My wife and my issue is with the Oncologist

 

My wife has been diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. We went yesterday to the Oncologist for the first time and left not too happy. She has been through the usual mammograms, biopsy’s, MRIs and two GPs. All have been great and supportive of her wish to have me by her side. This is what I want to. I can’t imagine her facing this alone without any family and all of her caregivers have been supportive of this. That is until the Oncologist.

We went for the consult yesterday as I stated and she would not look at me at all. She referred to me as my wife’s “bodyguard” and that the practice and other people getting treatment in her office were her only support group. When my wife had a question, the doctor would nod and smile then dismiss her statement. Every place we researched treatment rooms encouraged having a family or loved on in the room. This doctor implied I could not be there because the other women would not feel comfortable with me in there. When I pressed her on this she back tracked and stated that there were men and children in the room too but they would form a bond with my wife and I would be awkward in the room.

We are at odds as to speak up to anyone since we don’t want to delay her treatment but feel this doctor is a bit bias against men. There is another woman doctor in the practice we could ask for but feel uncomfortable with saying anything.

Has anyone got any advice? Is it not common to have a spouse or loved one with you in the treatment room?

 

Oncologist

My husband was under the care of two different oncologist during his 5 year battle.  The first onoclogist he had already been seeing for a good while due to being diagnosed with polycethemia veria (rare blood cancer and yes it is a cancer for all those that don't think so) and when he was diagnosed with laryngeal cancer this oncologist was in charge and I was right there with my husband during the whole time and this oncologist answered any question I had.  Now when my husband was referred to a head and neck specialist for surgery, this specialist was great.  But then a year later my husband was diagnosed with a 2nd primary and we stayed with the head and neck specialist at a large institution.  The 2nd oncologist was horrible, always waited up to 2 hours to see him and then he rarely answered any questions but because my husband was getting a second round of radiation we stayed with this oncologist because it was easier and was an hour drive from home.   When my husband's second primary returned and spread to his lungs, this oncologist clearly stated that since he wasn't having any problems, he wouldn't do any chemo???????????????????????  By this time my husband had already decided against further treatment, he was very tired from all the radiation, chemo and surgery he had already undergone and the return of the second primary was large and our specialist said ruled out surgery.

We went back to the first oncologist and I had hoped he would talk my husband into more chemo but he didn't.  He said it was my husband's decision and that any more chemo could hasten not prolong his life.  I was with my husband through out all his treatments.  No one ever said I couldn't stay with him while he was getting chemo.   If it were me, I would request another oncologist or demand to be with your wife during her chemo treatments.  Maybe your oncologist feels you wouldn't like to sit with her for hours, because it does take hours for a chemo treatment.  As far as other patients, I never encountered a problem with them and even helped where I could. 

Wishing you both peace and comfort

 

SpTeach

fleet56 said:

My wife and my issue is with the Oncologist

 

My wife has been diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. We went yesterday to the Oncologist for the first time and left not too happy. She has been through the usual mammograms, biopsy’s, MRIs and two GPs. All have been great and supportive of her wish to have me by her side. This is what I want to. I can’t imagine her facing this alone without any family and all of her caregivers have been supportive of this. That is until the Oncologist.

We went for the consult yesterday as I stated and she would not look at me at all. She referred to me as my wife’s “bodyguard” and that the practice and other people getting treatment in her office were her only support group. When my wife had a question, the doctor would nod and smile then dismiss her statement. Every place we researched treatment rooms encouraged having a family or loved on in the room. This doctor implied I could not be there because the other women would not feel comfortable with me in there. When I pressed her on this she back tracked and stated that there were men and children in the room too but they would form a bond with my wife and I would be awkward in the room.

We are at odds as to speak up to anyone since we don’t want to delay her treatment but feel this doctor is a bit bias against men. There is another woman doctor in the practice we could ask for but feel uncomfortable with saying anything.

Has anyone got any advice? Is it not common to have a spouse or loved one with you in the treatment room?

 

Crazy

Hi fleet,

     That is down right crazy.  My wife was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer in 2013.  I went to every single appointment, test and treatment.  I was there for moral support, plus I wanted to know everything I could.  I was also there because my wife would be upset at times and not remember what was said, or she wouldn't remember a question she wanted to ask.  You should definitely be there all you can.  As you stated, the majority of places encourage family to be involved.  We went to MD Anderson Cancer Treatment Center, they were fantastic!!!  Please send me a message if you want to talk or want to vent.

 

Doug

fleet56

SpTeach said:

Crazy

Hi fleet,

     That is down right crazy.  My wife was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer in 2013.  I went to every single appointment, test and treatment.  I was there for moral support, plus I wanted to know everything I could.  I was also there because my wife would be upset at times and not remember what was said, or she wouldn't remember a question she wanted to ask.  You should definitely be there all you can.  As you stated, the majority of places encourage family to be involved.  We went to MD Anderson Cancer Treatment Center, they were fantastic!!!  Please send me a message if you want to talk or want to vent.

 

Doug

Hey Sp Teach

Thanks for your opinion. You mentioned something I forgot. It is true; my wife was so over whelmed she too forgot questions to ask, even though she wrote them down.

Although she was delayed a week, we now have a facility that seems inclusive. I will be allowed in the infusion room and the Doctors seem concerned with her desire to have me there. I felt as if the other Doctor believed this was something I was dictating like some controlling spouse.

By the way, the week delay was the insurance dragging their feet on getting approval for the PET scan. Seems as of recent, the insurance companies question, unlike before, the medical necessity for the PET and make the Doctors jump through hoops before they approve.