Anger after Chemotherapy and Radiation

harleymichelle

My boyfriend’s mother finished chemo and radiation about 4-5 months ago. She had a very hand time with it because during treatment she was going through a hard spot in her marriage. Within the last month or two my boyfriend and I have noticed extreme mood swings. At first we thought it was menopause that was brought on by the radiation treatment but her mood swings have only got worse. She gets very angry over something simple. Most recently she got a tiny bit violate and began throwing pots and pans until she was held back so she wouldn’t hurt herself or anyone else. Obviously these acts are followed up with great remorse but still happen. I was told about something called "chemobrain" so I did some research online. I found a lot of information about it but not much about angry being a part of it, "chemobrain" is mostly memory loss or confusion. My parents believe it has to do with the cancer treatments so the first thing I thought of was to find a support group discussion board to see if other people are going through this with their loved ones. Any advice or help with this problem we are facing would be so greatly appreciated.

twnkltoz

Not something I experienced

Not something I experienced or have heard of, but this stuff does crazy things to you. Could be hormonal? 

tufi000

I understand.  For me, as

I understand.  For me, as difficult as cancer was to deal with, my domestic situation at that time was more difficult for me. It had nothing to do with treatments as far I am concerned, but pushed my already full plate of crap to deal with over the edge. My oncology team was very concerned and also helpful. I was treated for low level depression and it took the edge off.  Having no family or friends in my new location I wound up spontaneously emotionally supported by the woman who came to clean the house who was also a neighbor.  Our talks were so healing and are the main thing that got me through.

You need to say the crap out loud and not necessarily to a shrink or support group.  Someone who will listen.

There are a lot of ways one can feel alone. This should not be one of those times.

desertgirl947

It's a type of grieving over

It's a type of grieving over her losses, I think.  I had more of a problem with that when I had, at age 31, a hysterectomy.  Living in a rural area, I had a wonderful doctor at the clinic who had me come in a few times after hours to just talk.  She may have even given me some reading material.  Not sure, as that was about 30 years ago.  She was not charging me for the time -- my income was barely average -- until I told her I really thought I should pay something.  (I did -- not much, but I felt better about taking her time.)

Talking with someone who could maybe help me work through things was apparently all I needed.  I did get past that.  I just needed time.

With the cancer, I did not have to deal with those same feelings I had back then -- even though I had a double mastectomy, chemo, and radiation.  I had a great support group of friends and relatives.  That helped.

Not sure this is what you are looking for, but I think you are right in looking for a support group, even for your boyfriend's mother. 

Wildtulip

You're right, chemo brain is

You're right, chemo brain is more like memory loss.

I finished up my treatments just two months ago, and have been very emotional. I haven't been angry, but more sad. I think when someone is going through such a difficult experience they are on survival mode, and emotions get stuffed down. Once the immediate, or physical, challenge is over all the emotions that have been stuffed down come to the surface.

Obviously you care about your boyfriend's mother. It's so great you are concerned and want to help. From someone who is in a similar situation, please be patient with her. It may be helpful for her to talk to someone, but only she can know which type of support would be helpful to her. Some prefer on line groups, in person groups, or individual therapy. Just let her know you care, and perhaps offer to help find the support she needs. 

Teach76

Anger and frustration

Finished chemo and waiting for surgery and radiation.  The whole process can be frustrating, and so many unknowns can make one angry.  I think anger is a natural reaction to not feeling in control of things.  A violent outburst is a concern.  Try to find someone that she trusts to be an ear for her, or perhaps a support group through the cancer center.

 

i would also say that some days I would not want to be constantly talking about my cancer.  Wonderful people would ask me about what the doctor said, or how my treatment went, when I would have just rather talked about the big snowstorm coming.  I think taking a day(or two. ...) away from your cancer is necessary.  No, it won't go away, but as a survivor, there is a lot more to life than the cancer that gives us that title.

 

Hope she can find some relaxation and safe ways to express her feelings.

Max Former Hodgkins Stage 3

Chemo Fog

Harley,

I am a visitor from the Lymphoma and Prostate boards (I have had both).  Chemo Brain or Chemo Fog is a very real condition that many chemo recipients develop. It is more common with some drugs than others, and tends to get worse with more doses (but is usually milder in patients who receive fewer doses).

The symptoms are confusion, inability to concentrate, and memory loss. The confusion often leads to the frustration you describe, and can cause irritability and anger. There are no drug treatments that I am aware of. Some people recommend a very healthy diet and perhaps a B-complex multivitamin to promote alertness.  But, most writers say that only time reduced symptoms. Most cases of chemo Fog mitigate within a few months, or at least within a year. Share this with her and others and let people know that she needs for everyone to be patient with her.

You mentioned menopause. Know that some chemo drugs induce infertility also. This infertility is usually temporary, but pregnancy is to be avoided until the drugs are totally out of the system

If you go to chemocare.com and click on Side Effects, there is an article in cehmo fog.

max