Thinking about quitting chemo

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EZLiving66
EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member

After three chemo treatments, I'm thinking about quitting and taking my chances the surgery got the cancer.  I'm Stage II UPSC and I know it's an aggressive cancer but I had two CT scans after surgery and they couldn't find any tumors.  My doctor told me I had a 50/50 chance after surgery that he had gotten it.  With chemo and radiation, that went to 80%.

In 1975 I was burned with hot grease over 20% of my body.  It was the most painful thing I have ever been through.  I was in the hospital for about a month and it took another six months for my body to totally heal from the treatment.  It took my mind almost 10 YEARS to heal.  I would have night terrors many nights that I was burnt again.  I saw psychiatrists and tried multi-treatment - therapy and medication.  FINALLY, we moved and after about a year, they stopped.  If I had not had young children, I would have killed myself - there is no question in my mind.  

I have started having night terrors again!  My PA thought it was the oxycotin but I think it's the trama of chemo.  My last chemo was a week ago Tuesday and I was up most of last night, afraid to sleep.  Last Sunday when I was up 36+ hours straight I would have killed myself if I would have had a nice, clean way to do it.  I thought of it again last night while I sat here in the family room with all the lights on because I'm afraid to close my eyes.  I grind my teeth during these nightmares so bad, I break off teeth.  Sometimes while clenching my jaw, my teeth slip and I take a big chunk out of my cheek or tongue.

On Tuesday I have an appointment with my gyno/oncologist to see if he can save my port.  It's still infected and it hurts so I don't have a lot of hope.  My one good vein is blown out so I'm sure it will take multiple tries to get another one.....there have been times we've been in the teens with tries to get a useable vein.  

If this chemo is that tramatic for me, I can't imagine living another ten years with the night terrors and all the psychiatric problems not being able to sleep cause.  

What's the difference if the cancer kills me or I kill myself?

I am so lucky to have this group!!

Love,

Eldri

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Comments

  • TeddyandBears_Mom
    TeddyandBears_Mom Member Posts: 1,814 Member
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    Eldri

    I so wish I had the wisdom to say just the right things here. Unfortunately, I don't... So, I'm sending you my heartfelt words in hopes they will at least let you know you are not alone and have tons of support on this board. I'm sorry you have had such a rough time. And, I wonder if there is an alternativie chemo that may give you a break in some of the side effects?  I hope you plan to talk to your gyn/oncologist about all of your issues.  There just may be a solution that you haven't thought of and / or that none of us here know about. The nightmares have to be so frightening. And, if you are having thoughts of suicide, it may be time to get some help (again) from a therapist instead of your PA?

    You are special and I have heard your laughter and felt your sense of humor through your postings. Please don't let any of this rob you or your family your spirit.

    Stay strong Eldri and please reach out to your medical team.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

  • SettledSue
    SettledSue Member Posts: 55 Member
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    Eldri

    I so wish I had the wisdom to say just the right things here. Unfortunately, I don't... So, I'm sending you my heartfelt words in hopes they will at least let you know you are not alone and have tons of support on this board. I'm sorry you have had such a rough time. And, I wonder if there is an alternativie chemo that may give you a break in some of the side effects?  I hope you plan to talk to your gyn/oncologist about all of your issues.  There just may be a solution that you haven't thought of and / or that none of us here know about. The nightmares have to be so frightening. And, if you are having thoughts of suicide, it may be time to get some help (again) from a therapist instead of your PA?

    You are special and I have heard your laughter and felt your sense of humor through your postings. Please don't let any of this rob you or your family your spirit.

    Stay strong Eldri and please reach out to your medical team.

    Love and Hugs,

    Cindi

    Please get help

    Eldri, please reach out to your oncologist and therapist. If the chemo is causing such bad dreams and suicidal thoughts maybe you should stop it unless the side effects can be addressed better than they are now.  Sue

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996 Member
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    Eldri

    I wish that I had the perfect words for you and I wish I could take your suffering away.  I will keep you in my prayers.  You are a special, beautiful person and you are needed here by your family and friends.  Please talk to your Gyno-Onc  about all your problems and thoughts.  I am sure he can find help for you. I have heard that OxyContin can cause night terrors. PAs can be good, but I think you need someone higher up the food chain to help with all the health issues that keep hitting you.  My PA is the sweetest lady, but she recently gave me many perscriptions for nausea when in reality I had a tumor grow through and blocking my small intestines.

    You are a strong lady who has already been through so much, you can handle this.  Sending you all th Hugs, Love and prayers that I have, Lou Ann. 

  • debrajo
    debrajo Member Posts: 1,095 Member
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    Eldri

    I know your terror....I have been where you are.  I still stay up most of the nights to avoid sleep.  It was 4:00 a.m. before I went to sleep last night.  The dreams, the nightmares are more vivid from the chemo and steroids, not to mention the PTSD we all have.  I take Xanax and Prozac on a daily bases to keep me "stable".  When I do sleep, I wake to both arms clutched across my chest and both hands curled into tight fists'.  M head is pulled so far back my neck is in a spasim.  It's not Just the crap we have been through, but a life time of crap.  I don't know exactly what the answer is, but I am a firm beliver in medication.  I've been called many terrible names because of the drugs, but I would hate to think where I'd be without them...probaly dead.  Yes, I have been sucidal, even before cancer, when my son died and several other things.  You are half way done with chemo...I am UPSC also.  It is traumatic, painful, fearful, frustrating, mentally exausting, and, for me, made me mad as Hell!  More than one medical professional has been on the fighting side of me during treatment!  I would suggest you get some more therapy , grief therapy also because we are grieving who we once were.  The anxiety alone will wreck havoc on your immune system.  Get some meds, and if you are on some now, get a different kind or an increase til this is a memory.  Rather to do all you are doing now, then the trauma of having a recurance.  Just my opinon, from someone who has been there.  Best, Debra(Jo)

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,388 Member
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    Eldri, please call and get

    Eldri, please call and get some professional help.  This is a chat board and none of us are trained to help you with the things you are going through.  From everything you are saying it is more than what we can help you with and trained professionals can talk with you and get you the medication that can help you best at this time.

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
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    debrajo said:

    Eldri

    I know your terror....I have been where you are.  I still stay up most of the nights to avoid sleep.  It was 4:00 a.m. before I went to sleep last night.  The dreams, the nightmares are more vivid from the chemo and steroids, not to mention the PTSD we all have.  I take Xanax and Prozac on a daily bases to keep me "stable".  When I do sleep, I wake to both arms clutched across my chest and both hands curled into tight fists'.  M head is pulled so far back my neck is in a spasim.  It's not Just the crap we have been through, but a life time of crap.  I don't know exactly what the answer is, but I am a firm beliver in medication.  I've been called many terrible names because of the drugs, but I would hate to think where I'd be without them...probaly dead.  Yes, I have been sucidal, even before cancer, when my son died and several other things.  You are half way done with chemo...I am UPSC also.  It is traumatic, painful, fearful, frustrating, mentally exausting, and, for me, made me mad as Hell!  More than one medical professional has been on the fighting side of me during treatment!  I would suggest you get some more therapy , grief therapy also because we are grieving who we once were.  The anxiety alone will wreck havoc on your immune system.  Get some meds, and if you are on some now, get a different kind or an increase til this is a memory.  Rather to do all you are doing now, then the trauma of having a recurance.  Just my opinon, from someone who has been there.  Best, Debra(Jo)

    Thank you all.  I do plan to

    Thank you all.  I do plan to meet with my gyno/oncologist on Tuesday and get as many "facts" as I can before I make my decision.  One of my problems is sensitivity to medication.  The only kind of anti-depressant that ever worked for me were MAO inhibitors but I was so sensitive to their interaction with food that I ended up in the emergency room twice with a hypertensive crisis.  After the second time, the psychiatrist took them away from me before I stroked out.  

    At first I thought it was the oxycotin but I haven't had any for five days and I took very little of it - half pills.  I have talked to my PA and my doctor about alternative meds but they haven't been helpful at all.  I'm taking tylenol for pain - that's it.  If it was only anxiety while I was awake, I think I could deal with it through the cognitive therapy I've had, but ALL this is happening in my subconscious. I'm starting to feel like I did back in 1975-1985 where the sun coming down triggered panic.  I tried everything back then!  I had a light box, tried every anxiety and anti-depressant under the sun and any kind of therapy recommended.  The last psychiatrist I saw said she thought moving would help - to get out of the house where the trama occurred.  My saint of a husband agreed and we started to look for a new house.  I think that was the start of my healing (although the other night, I had a burn dream).

    And, after reading all the posts on this board, chemo and radiation are absolutely NO guarantee the cancer won't spread anyway.  

    "Following surgery, a decision must be made about the next steps in treatment. The range of choices among current standards is wide, from no further treatment (observation) to radiation and/or chemotherapy. “It’s either nothing or a lot,” explained Karen Lu, M.D., a professor in the Department of Gynecologic Oncology at The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center. The range of options for early-stage UPSC stems from the question: Which patients require substantial adjuvant (postoperative) therapy, and which patients should only be observed?

     

    According to Lois Ramondetta, M.D., an associate professor in the Department of Gynecologic Oncology, the wide range of treatment choices is confusing and reflects the relative paucity of data specific to this variant of endometrial cancer."

    Even the experts don't know!  Then I look at how other countries view treatment and it's all over the place and their survival rate is the same as ours. 

    I have to go in for a blood test tomorrow and let's see how many pokes before they can get a needle in?

    Love,

    Eldri

  • Eldri

    Do you think your terrors will stop if you quit chemo, or do you think you will replace them with the other question, will it come back because I stopped.  I really wish I knew the future, because I think you are going to be fine either way.  I know I will have a similar conversation with myself when my chemo ends and talk will turn to radiation.  I believe you are strong, please talk with your doctors and see if they can come up with something that will help.  I've heard there are several alternative chemo agents if your doctor suspects the taxol to be theone causing the terror.  I've also read that people who have an allergic reaction to taxol just go with the one, carbo.  Whatever you do, do it with conviction and a clear heart and mind.  By the way, I was feeling sad yesterday myself, thinking what if the treatment ends up killing me, but I was able to talk myself out of it.  I'm in it for the cure, I don't have the luxury of any scans to show if I still have cancer cells or not.  Hugs Nancy

  • ConnieSW
    ConnieSW Member Posts: 1,681 Member
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    unknown said:

    Eldri

    Do you think your terrors will stop if you quit chemo, or do you think you will replace them with the other question, will it come back because I stopped.  I really wish I knew the future, because I think you are going to be fine either way.  I know I will have a similar conversation with myself when my chemo ends and talk will turn to radiation.  I believe you are strong, please talk with your doctors and see if they can come up with something that will help.  I've heard there are several alternative chemo agents if your doctor suspects the taxol to be theone causing the terror.  I've also read that people who have an allergic reaction to taxol just go with the one, carbo.  Whatever you do, do it with conviction and a clear heart and mind.  By the way, I was feeling sad yesterday myself, thinking what if the treatment ends up killing me, but I was able to talk myself out of it.  I'm in it for the cure, I don't have the luxury of any scans to show if I still have cancer cells or not.  Hugs Nancy

    Eldri

    The one thing I might add to what the others have said is to consider having treatment specifically for PTSD.  With your history, I wonder if that may be the problem instead of the chemo.  If so, I think they've come a long way indealing with it than in the 1970's due to our poor military members.

    Also, I've read that some docs recommend 4-6 chemo sessions.  Do you think you could see your way clear to enduring just one more?

     

    Please  know I'll be thinking about you. 

  • Sandy3185
    Sandy3185 Member Posts: 229 Member
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    Oh Eldri and Debra Jo!

    I am so sorry you are suffering so! I wish I had the words to help you both. Eldri, DebraJo gave you some great suggestions. Please try to remember how many people love you and will be devastated by your loss. My father committed suicide shortly after my husband and I were married in 1969. I still miss him and carry that pain in my heart today. If only he could have been here to know my children and if they could have known him, what a wonderful man he was. Please don't give up! Talk to your oncologist and see if you can stop treatment for a while until your mind is in a better place.  Perhaps he can move your port to a new location and give both sites time to heal. Meanwhile see if you can talk to your psychologist and try to get some relief. God knows the worry, pain and lack of sleep must contribute to your depression. Finding a way to cope with everything that is going on right now is essential. I think you doctor will agree that a short delay in continuing chemo is better than continuing in your present state of mind. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

     

  • Annabella Rose
    Annabella Rose Member Posts: 59
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    I needed to stop at three treatments

    I felt I couldn't survive the fourth. I have M.S. and M.G. and those two diseases were completely overwhelming. When I told the doctor he said that it was OK for me to stop at three. He said he was happy and surprised I made it to three with dealing with two other health conditions. But he he did talk me into getting 5 internal radiation treatment to make sure nothing starts up at the cuff. Just to be on the safe side. I agreed to it but I still deal with a lot of pain in my pelvic region and inside the vagina. Now this week I find out my Pap smear last month was abnormal and I have to get that checked out on Dec 29th.

    All you ladies are So Good to share your story's and encourage us on in making such complicated decisions.

    When I asked my Doctor if me stopping at three chemo treatments instead of making it to 4 will increase my percentages in it coming back? He said Only God knows the answer to that. His answer didn't make me feel all warm and fussy but after thinking about it, he's right.

  • mas910
    mas910 Member Posts: 6
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    Do you think the steriods are

    Do you think the steriods are adding to your insomnia and nightmares?  That has happened to me in the past.  Also, I would definitely ask to have your old port removed and a new one placed.  You should not have to worry about your veins holding out when you could have a new port.  These side effects of chemo will go away you just have to be patient.  I was first diagnosed 2009 UPSC, had surgery and chemo.  Had several recurrences in February 2014 and have been receiving chemo almost continously since then. So far chemo is keeping things under control, knowing that this is not curable only manageable.   Good luck to you and remember to take one day at a time!

     

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
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    I agree it's a form of PTSD

    I agree it's a form of PTSD although back in the 80s it wasn't called that.  It's the psychological after effects of a mental or physical trama and I know, for a fact, they still don't have very effective treatments for it.

    I just called my gyno/oncologists office and asked for an extended appointment when I see him on Tuesday to get my port removed or fixed.  I talked to my husband last night and he said he would support whatever I decided.  He knows first hand what I went through those ten years and how history is starting to repeat itself.

    Last night was another bad night.  Not so much with night terrors but with repetative anxiety dreams.  When those would happen, I would have to get up and become fully awake to reset my sleep cycle.  I was up for several hours and then tried to go back to sleep.  Eating is still very painful for my digestive tract but I ate something too.  I woke up at 10 and feel like I've been through the ringer.  

    I have read everything that's out there about this cancer's treatment I can find so it's not like I'm making this decision without information.  

    As far as my first three chemos - the second one was twice as bad as the first and the third one has been twice as bad as the second.  If this progression continues which, a lot of you say it does, and becomes cumulative, stoping now makes sense.  

    I am not a nervous or anxious person.  Even the waiting for test, results, doctors' appointments, etc. did not affect my sleep or anxiety levels.  Life is what it is.  The problem is my subconscious.

    Well, I'm off to work for the afternoon.  75% of our company's bids for 2016 go out on January 1st so we've been working hard to get them done.  Our son who graduated from college in May is working in the business and has taken over some of my duties while I teach him others.  There has been NO snow so far this year in Green Bay, WI - in the winter our company plows and salts commercial parking lots.  Our snow business last year was dismal too.  But in a way it's nice because my husband doesn't have to be on snow alert tracking the snow and sending out the plows and salt trucks.

    Love,

    Eldri

     

  • Editgrl
    Editgrl Member Posts: 903 Member
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    I agree it's a form of PTSD

    I agree it's a form of PTSD although back in the 80s it wasn't called that.  It's the psychological after effects of a mental or physical trama and I know, for a fact, they still don't have very effective treatments for it.

    I just called my gyno/oncologists office and asked for an extended appointment when I see him on Tuesday to get my port removed or fixed.  I talked to my husband last night and he said he would support whatever I decided.  He knows first hand what I went through those ten years and how history is starting to repeat itself.

    Last night was another bad night.  Not so much with night terrors but with repetative anxiety dreams.  When those would happen, I would have to get up and become fully awake to reset my sleep cycle.  I was up for several hours and then tried to go back to sleep.  Eating is still very painful for my digestive tract but I ate something too.  I woke up at 10 and feel like I've been through the ringer.  

    I have read everything that's out there about this cancer's treatment I can find so it's not like I'm making this decision without information.  

    As far as my first three chemos - the second one was twice as bad as the first and the third one has been twice as bad as the second.  If this progression continues which, a lot of you say it does, and becomes cumulative, stoping now makes sense.  

    I am not a nervous or anxious person.  Even the waiting for test, results, doctors' appointments, etc. did not affect my sleep or anxiety levels.  Life is what it is.  The problem is my subconscious.

    Well, I'm off to work for the afternoon.  75% of our company's bids for 2016 go out on January 1st so we've been working hard to get them done.  Our son who graduated from college in May is working in the business and has taken over some of my duties while I teach him others.  There has been NO snow so far this year in Green Bay, WI - in the winter our company plows and salts commercial parking lots.  Our snow business last year was dismal too.  But in a way it's nice because my husband doesn't have to be on snow alert tracking the snow and sending out the plows and salt trucks.

    Love,

    Eldri

     

    Eldri

    I can only echo what others have said.  Reach out to your oncologist and therapist.  I am so sorry the chemo has been so hard on you physically and mentally. There are some newer therapies, including EMDR, that are having good results with PTSD.  I hope that you and your oncologist can find some options that will work for you, whether it is delaying or ending chemo, changing meds, or something else entirely.  

    Sending healing energy your way to get you through the weekend til your appointment.

    Chris

  • SettledSue
    SettledSue Member Posts: 55 Member
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    I agree it's a form of PTSD

    I agree it's a form of PTSD although back in the 80s it wasn't called that.  It's the psychological after effects of a mental or physical trama and I know, for a fact, they still don't have very effective treatments for it.

    I just called my gyno/oncologists office and asked for an extended appointment when I see him on Tuesday to get my port removed or fixed.  I talked to my husband last night and he said he would support whatever I decided.  He knows first hand what I went through those ten years and how history is starting to repeat itself.

    Last night was another bad night.  Not so much with night terrors but with repetative anxiety dreams.  When those would happen, I would have to get up and become fully awake to reset my sleep cycle.  I was up for several hours and then tried to go back to sleep.  Eating is still very painful for my digestive tract but I ate something too.  I woke up at 10 and feel like I've been through the ringer.  

    I have read everything that's out there about this cancer's treatment I can find so it's not like I'm making this decision without information.  

    As far as my first three chemos - the second one was twice as bad as the first and the third one has been twice as bad as the second.  If this progression continues which, a lot of you say it does, and becomes cumulative, stoping now makes sense.  

    I am not a nervous or anxious person.  Even the waiting for test, results, doctors' appointments, etc. did not affect my sleep or anxiety levels.  Life is what it is.  The problem is my subconscious.

    Well, I'm off to work for the afternoon.  75% of our company's bids for 2016 go out on January 1st so we've been working hard to get them done.  Our son who graduated from college in May is working in the business and has taken over some of my duties while I teach him others.  There has been NO snow so far this year in Green Bay, WI - in the winter our company plows and salts commercial parking lots.  Our snow business last year was dismal too.  But in a way it's nice because my husband doesn't have to be on snow alert tracking the snow and sending out the plows and salt trucks.

    Love,

    Eldri

     

    Glad you seem to be doing better

    Your tone sounds much better today. I'm glad you asked for an extended appointment to discuss your options. Is it possible that you could continue your chemo at a lower dose? That's what I did when my neuropathy got worse. My doctor's initial recommendation was for 4-6 chemo treatments. After my fourth I asked if I could stop. He said 6 would be better, so I continued at the lower dose. Good luck to you! Sue

  • Lou Ann M
    Lou Ann M Member Posts: 996 Member
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    I agree it's a form of PTSD

    I agree it's a form of PTSD although back in the 80s it wasn't called that.  It's the psychological after effects of a mental or physical trama and I know, for a fact, they still don't have very effective treatments for it.

    I just called my gyno/oncologists office and asked for an extended appointment when I see him on Tuesday to get my port removed or fixed.  I talked to my husband last night and he said he would support whatever I decided.  He knows first hand what I went through those ten years and how history is starting to repeat itself.

    Last night was another bad night.  Not so much with night terrors but with repetative anxiety dreams.  When those would happen, I would have to get up and become fully awake to reset my sleep cycle.  I was up for several hours and then tried to go back to sleep.  Eating is still very painful for my digestive tract but I ate something too.  I woke up at 10 and feel like I've been through the ringer.  

    I have read everything that's out there about this cancer's treatment I can find so it's not like I'm making this decision without information.  

    As far as my first three chemos - the second one was twice as bad as the first and the third one has been twice as bad as the second.  If this progression continues which, a lot of you say it does, and becomes cumulative, stoping now makes sense.  

    I am not a nervous or anxious person.  Even the waiting for test, results, doctors' appointments, etc. did not affect my sleep or anxiety levels.  Life is what it is.  The problem is my subconscious.

    Well, I'm off to work for the afternoon.  75% of our company's bids for 2016 go out on January 1st so we've been working hard to get them done.  Our son who graduated from college in May is working in the business and has taken over some of my duties while I teach him others.  There has been NO snow so far this year in Green Bay, WI - in the winter our company plows and salts commercial parking lots.  Our snow business last year was dismal too.  But in a way it's nice because my husband doesn't have to be on snow alert tracking the snow and sending out the plows and salt trucks.

    Love,

    Eldri

     

    More possibilities

    I have had to have my dosages lowered several times and the time between extended. Because of the damage it was doing to my blood.  My 2nd go round of 6 treatments was stopped after 5 because my blood was so bad. I was back to NED so I was given a chemo vacation that lasted about 4 months.  There are different kinds of chemo and maybe one of them would work better for you.  Taxol/Carbo. Just seems like it is the one they try 1st for this kind of cancer.

    We have lots of snow here and more coming this afternoon and tomorrow.  The snow crews could probably use some extra help.  Head west a couple of states.

    Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

  • oldbeauty
    oldbeauty Member Posts: 368 Member
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    I don't have any experience

    I don't have any experience with what you describe so I can only add my sadness for what you are going thru and hope you get some relief.  The only other thing that occurs to me is whether you think it might make a difference for you if you were admitted as an inpatient for your remaining treatment(s).  I know I've read that some people do get admitted and I wonder whether given the pain and torment you're going thru not to mention the port problem whether you would be able to weather the storm better in a hospital setting.  oldbeauty

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
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    I just had a conference call

    I just had a conference call with my doctor and chemo nurse.  My nurse called to tell me my WBC was really low and they were trying to decide what they should do.  I told her about my plan to quit chemo and she said she wanted to see if she could get my doctor on the line because that would make a difference in how they treated this low count.  I told them my reasons and my doctor wanted me to think about it until my appointment on Tuesday when he would meet with me.  He said if I was going to stop, he would remove the infected port.  They thought if I stayed home this weekend away from others they wouldn't give me the neupogen shot.  They want me to rest over the weekend, eat REALLY good and come in Monday morning to get my blood tested again. 

    Mentally I'm feeling better than I've felt in a while.  Physically I feel like I've been wrung out and hung up to dry (my grandma would say that - LOL).  If I can just get one night of sleep, it would make all the difference in how I feel physically.

    Love,

    Eldri

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
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    oldbeauty said:

    I don't have any experience

    I don't have any experience with what you describe so I can only add my sadness for what you are going thru and hope you get some relief.  The only other thing that occurs to me is whether you think it might make a difference for you if you were admitted as an inpatient for your remaining treatment(s).  I know I've read that some people do get admitted and I wonder whether given the pain and torment you're going thru not to mention the port problem whether you would be able to weather the storm better in a hospital setting.  oldbeauty

    I don't know how insurance

    I don't know how insurance would view that - LOL!  They seem to fight tooth and nail for everything that's just a little different.  Do they admit you just for the 10 days after chemo or for the full time?

    Love,

    Eldri

  • EZLiving66
    EZLiving66 Member Posts: 1,483 Member
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    Lou Ann M said:

    More possibilities

    I have had to have my dosages lowered several times and the time between extended. Because of the damage it was doing to my blood.  My 2nd go round of 6 treatments was stopped after 5 because my blood was so bad. I was back to NED so I was given a chemo vacation that lasted about 4 months.  There are different kinds of chemo and maybe one of them would work better for you.  Taxol/Carbo. Just seems like it is the one they try 1st for this kind of cancer.

    We have lots of snow here and more coming this afternoon and tomorrow.  The snow crews could probably use some extra help.  Head west a couple of states.

    Hugs and prayers, Lou Ann

    My doctor started me on

    My doctor started me on Taxotere/Carboplatin because he said the Taxotere had less side effects and was more easily tolerated.  I'd had to be on the stuff with MORE side effects!!  LOL

    Our only chance of snow is like 30% on Christmas Eve.  Just when we don't want to have to go out!!!

    Love,

    Eldri

  • giggs100
    giggs100 Member Posts: 91 Member
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    I just had a conference call

    I just had a conference call with my doctor and chemo nurse.  My nurse called to tell me my WBC was really low and they were trying to decide what they should do.  I told her about my plan to quit chemo and she said she wanted to see if she could get my doctor on the line because that would make a difference in how they treated this low count.  I told them my reasons and my doctor wanted me to think about it until my appointment on Tuesday when he would meet with me.  He said if I was going to stop, he would remove the infected port.  They thought if I stayed home this weekend away from others they wouldn't give me the neupogen shot.  They want me to rest over the weekend, eat REALLY good and come in Monday morning to get my blood tested again. 

    Mentally I'm feeling better than I've felt in a while.  Physically I feel like I've been wrung out and hung up to dry (my grandma would say that - LOL).  If I can just get one night of sleep, it would make all the difference in how I feel physically.

    Love,

    Eldri

    Port out

    Eldri have you thought about having a picc put in your arm.  Granted there is some daily maintenance that has to be done with that but it would help with them poking you looking for blood draws or chemo applications.  That is what they did for me when I had a port put in and then had a problem because they didn't stop my blood thinner drug and my port area keep seeping blood the whole day of my first day of chemo. After I had my first chemo application I had to return to the radio..... area for them to reopen my port area and cauterize some of the small blood vessels and add more stitches to the area and from there they went over to my left arm and put a picc in so they could continue with my next two applications of chemo plus be able to draw blood for testing from it.  It was a very long day for me (13 hours) for the first day of chemo.  Maybe something to talk to your doctor about.  My thoughts and prayers are with you that they find a solution for your problems.   It's enough for us to just being able to withstand going through chemo without ending up with all the problems.  

    Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.  Please stay strong.  XOXO

    Jerri