New here and looking for emotional support

Doodlebutt1

Hello, I'm a 35 year old cancer survivor!!

Well, my cancer journey started January 26th 2015. I found a lump in my right breast and wanted to have it checked out. I had gone to a different doctor because I wanted to get in as soon as possible. The doctor told me he thought it was nothing to worry about but wanted to do a mammogram just to be safe. Well the mammogram found what the doctor thought was just calcium. I had a biopsy on February 12th and on February 18th I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. At first the doctors thought that is was small and easily treatable but after a PET scan they found that the cancer had taken over my left breast and spread into the lymphnodes of my chest wall. As terrified as I was I think I handled things pretty well, I didnt have too much anxiety or depression through my whole process. I went through 15 weeks of chemo then a double mastectomy follwed by a month and a half of radiation therapy. I am done with everything except for a maintenance herceptin. Like I said earlier I think I handled things pretty well the whole time but it's now after it's been two months since radiation I feel like I'm falling apart. I feel depressed at least once a day if not more. I can be feeling great singing to music and having a great day and then all of the sudden it feels like the rug was pulled out from under me. I start to bawl and usually it doesn't stop for about a half an hour. People keep telling me this is normal and that it will get better but it kind of scares me. I've gone through depression before when I lost my mom at my dad's hand but this just seems so different. I know that I would never hurt myself because I care about my family and friends way too much to do that but I still feel like I'm drowning and just can't breath. So I'm asking anyone here for help, just knowing that I'm not alone isn't quite enough to help me through this. I know that so many men and women have gone through this but I still feel so alone. 

Treecy1106

Hi Doodle

Hi Doodle...

You are soooo not alone. First and foremost we are all here and willing to help you through this. You will be ok. I know how that sounds but I remember being exactly where you are now. My mind could not accept what was going on when I got diagnosed. I had about 6 surgeries. I had a bi-lateral as well. I had dose dense chemo AC/T I did not have rads.

When I lost my hair I thought to myself....WTF!!!???!!!! I was so crazy upset. 

SOmeone told me to love my cancer. I thought she was nuts but it makes sense. If you love something it cant hurt you. WHen I started to do that...I started researching how to build my immune system with vitamins and healthy foods.

I started to study.....that helped me so much. Instead of focusing on death and dying I focused on the here and now and not the what if's!

Get youself knowledgeable about your body and increase your immune system. Look for cancer fighting foods.

By doing this you stay focused on the positive.

You are not alone and if you need to talk I will forward my number.

Patrice

Doodlebutt1

Treecy1106 said:

Hi Doodle

Hi Doodle...

You are soooo not alone. First and foremost we are all here and willing to help you through this. You will be ok. I know how that sounds but I remember being exactly where you are now. My mind could not accept what was going on when I got diagnosed. I had about 6 surgeries. I had a bi-lateral as well. I had dose dense chemo AC/T I did not have rads.

When I lost my hair I thought to myself....WTF!!!???!!!! I was so crazy upset. 

SOmeone told me to love my cancer. I thought she was nuts but it makes sense. If you love something it cant hurt you. WHen I started to do that...I started researching how to build my immune system with vitamins and healthy foods.

I started to study.....that helped me so much. Instead of focusing on death and dying I focused on the here and now and not the what if's!

Get youself knowledgeable about your body and increase your immune system. Look for cancer fighting foods.

By doing this you stay focused on the positive.

You are not alone and if you need to talk I will forward my number.

Patrice

Hi Patrice, 
 
Thank you so

Hi Patrice, 

 

Thank you so much for the advice and just talking with me about this. I sometime feel like my journey is almost over and I haven't learned anything, except how to fight for my life. I know that is important but maybe learning a little bit more about this will help me to recover from this.

 

Once again thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me about this,

Lisa 

Gm2873

Depression

It's not uncommon to feel depressed after treatment. I think while you're going through all the surgery, chemo, and radiation, you're just too focused on surviving all that you don't even think. I finished everything except I'll be on letrozole and herceptin indefinitely (stage IV). Got great news on my last PET scan that I was NED, which should have made me ecstatic, but instead, I became depressed. My father passed away about 3 months before my NED news, so my doctor thinks everything just piled up on me and I was overwhelmed. She put me on an antidepressant and it has made all the difference for me. I'm back to being my usual self (with occasional periods of grief missing my Dad, which is normal). Perhaps you should talk to your doctor about getting on an antidepressant. 

Hope you get to feeling better soon.

Gayle

disneyfan2008

Treecy1106 said:

Hi Doodle

Hi Doodle...

You are soooo not alone. First and foremost we are all here and willing to help you through this. You will be ok. I know how that sounds but I remember being exactly where you are now. My mind could not accept what was going on when I got diagnosed. I had about 6 surgeries. I had a bi-lateral as well. I had dose dense chemo AC/T I did not have rads.

When I lost my hair I thought to myself....WTF!!!???!!!! I was so crazy upset. 

SOmeone told me to love my cancer. I thought she was nuts but it makes sense. If you love something it cant hurt you. WHen I started to do that...I started researching how to build my immune system with vitamins and healthy foods.

I started to study.....that helped me so much. Instead of focusing on death and dying I focused on the here and now and not the what if's!

Get youself knowledgeable about your body and increase your immune system. Look for cancer fighting foods.

By doing this you stay focused on the positive.

You are not alone and if you need to talk I will forward my number.

Patrice

hugs

hugs