Recurrence Fear

mro25

Once you have finished treatment, how do you stop yourself from constantly thinking about the possible return of cancer?

You think about it when you eat, what you eat, making time to exercise, appoitments etc. How to do you minimize thinking about it?

 

Prissy777

You just have to.  I know how hard it is but until you are diagnosed with recurrence, try enjoying life and giving yourself a break.  Wish I knew better what to suggest.  Hugs.

StrongerthanIthought

Wish I knew

I wish I knew the answer to that one.  Think of it every day.  I sometimes even avoid this site for that reason, but find myself drawn back to it too.  Cancer has become part of my decision making.  Might have to make it to the magical 5-year mark for recurrance not to be in my thoughts, but I'm not even sure that will do it.

Wish I could help, Barb

Abbycat2

StrongerthanIthought said:

Wish I knew

I wish I knew the answer to that one.  Think of it every day.  I sometimes even avoid this site for that reason, but find myself drawn back to it too.  Cancer has become part of my decision making.  Might have to make it to the magical 5-year mark for recurrance not to be in my thoughts, but I'm not even sure that will do it.

Wish I could help, Barb

You hit it on the nail! It's tough not to think about it

but as time goes by - I am NED- I seem to be able to "forget" that I was diagnosed with cancer for a few minutes and even a few hours. I am deeply grateful for those moments when my life feels normal. I am wishing for you the same experience.

Warm Wishes,

Cathy

 

Sandy3185

This is something we all have to deal with and, I think, each of us have developed our own coping mechanisms. Myself, I try to keep active so that I don't have time to dwell on it. I do get anxious before each quarterly checkup and whenever I get an unusual symptom( for example I have been having severe constipation lately and my first thought was colorectal cancer!).

But as time goes by I have relaxed somewhat and actually have started to believe that I will not have a reoccurrence. My children are all grown and I find so much joy in visiting with them and my grandchildren. We do not discuss my cancer nor do I talk about it very often with my husband. I find that this site is a great source of inspiration and information. Here is the one place where you can unload your deepest fears and in doing so you are able to let them go.  Sandy

artist49

Sandy3185 said:

This is something we all have to deal with and, I think, each of us have developed our own coping mechanisms. Myself, I try to keep active so that I don't have time to dwell on it. I do get anxious before each quarterly checkup and whenever I get an unusual symptom( for example I have been having severe constipation lately and my first thought was colorectal cancer!).

But as time goes by I have relaxed somewhat and actually have started to believe that I will not have a reoccurrence. My children are all grown and I find so much joy in visiting with them and my grandchildren. We do not discuss my cancer nor do I talk about it very often with my husband. I find that this site is a great source of inspiration and information. Here is the one place where you can unload your deepest fears and in doing so you are able to let them go.  Sandy

Sandy, you expressed so eloquently exactly what I wished

to say. Almost 5 and a half years since diagnosis I still

suffer extreme anxiety before ca125 tests and ct-scans.  I got

my  life back (a true second chance) and am so fearful of  losing

it again - especially since I know what chemo is like  .  The only thing

that helps is to be busy. busy. busy  with the things that are truly

meaningful to you  and to realize that no one is guaranteed forever. 

It happened to Me

MRO25

Trying to forget is hard.  At the beginning, it was 24/7 that it was in my brain.  Then, after my first few check-ups after my last chemo., it wasn't 24/7 on my brain, it was bits where I didn't think about it.  Since I am almost at 2 years NED, it's in the back of my mind and I, too, feel I am done.  I finally feel good almost everyday and am getting stronger. I am doing life.  I talk about it as a history thing, not a "what if I get it back" thing.  I'm ok talking about it to others as I want to educate people.  I know other women don't want to talk about it at all.  That is fine for them. 

As time goes by, I hope that you will be able to think less and less and begin living life again.  It's hard but it's doable.  We are survivors.  Try to stay active and when you begin thinking, give yourself permission to put it on the shelf.  One thing that was suggested to me was to designate a time to "worry", like everyday at 2:00 and you could think about it for an hour, then you tell yourself it's time to stop and then do the same thing the next day.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  Distractions are good.  Vacations are good.  Look forward to something every week. 

You will succeed MRO25.

Jeanette

cleo

Time will help.  I don't think it ever goes away.  After 8 fortunate years, although I don't talk or think about it I still visit this site to gain knowledge.  If an unusual ache or pain arrives the question then arises in my mind and I consider that I have NED, not that I am cured.   I volunteer at the local Cancer Society and appreciate every one of my days.  Good friends, travel and don't have 'what if's" in your life.

NoTimeForCancer

mro25,
I don't know if you

mro25,

I don't know if you ever stop thinking about it or having those fears.  I think it gets better with time but then a pain or something stops you in your tracks and you think the worst.  I just had this conversation with my oncologist and she agreed, and understands, the fear that rears its ugly head.  If I could suggest going out and living every single day to the fullest.  If there is something you want to do, a place you want to see - go and find a way!  Do it for you!  

You're not alone.

survivingsu

Prissy777 said:

You just have to.  I know how hard it is but until you are diagnosed with recurrence, try enjoying life and giving yourself a break.  Wish I knew better what to suggest.  Hugs.

What a good question!

Here are my two cents - I think you just get busy living and put the fear on the back burner.  Even after 6 years the fear comes right back when I'm about to get a test, or am waiting for the results.  But then I try to put it back on the back burner again.  I don't like to think about the possibility, in my case I was told if it came back it would likely come to the brain, lungs or liver.  I was also told that over time I could get secondary cancers from my treatment.  Geesh!  I cannot enjoy life thinking about "what ifs".  So it's the back burner. 

Thank you for asking such an important question!

Susan

NoTimeForCancer

survivingsu said:

What a good question!

Here are my two cents - I think you just get busy living and put the fear on the back burner.  Even after 6 years the fear comes right back when I'm about to get a test, or am waiting for the results.  But then I try to put it back on the back burner again.  I don't like to think about the possibility, in my case I was told if it came back it would likely come to the brain, lungs or liver.  I was also told that over time I could get secondary cancers from my treatment.  Geesh!  I cannot enjoy life thinking about "what ifs".  So it's the back burner. 

Thank you for asking such an important question!

Susan

Susan, I agree with you - get

Susan, I agree with you - get busy living your life.  

I think the visits, the tests, a little twinge somewhere, all makes it come rushing back to the front of our minds, but everyday we live we cheat the reaper.  Ha!  There is no guarantee in life of anything, this whole thing just made us think something might try to cheat us out of what we have coming to us.  

Which is why I tell everyone I know to FIND what it is you want to do and FIND A WAY to DO IT!  Don't wait till tomorrow.  My chemo nurse even told me, "Go and live everyday!" Amen sister - let the living begin.

pinky104

Minimizing Worry

I guess the answer for me is that I don't even try to minimize it.  It became a part of me as soon as I was diagnosed, and it never really went away.  I'm over 5 years now and I think about it often.  What I hear on the news about foods that cause cancer only brings it back again.  Now I know that all the bacon and sausage I ate for breakfast, the red meats I had for dinner, potato chips I snacked on, fruits I ate such as strawberries with pesticides that can't even be washed off, and other things I ate that on the "dirty dozen" list, which I'd never even heard of before I got cancer (Google it if you're not familiar with it) were probably all involved in my having gotten cancer.  Sorry about the run-on sentence!  I used to put my water bottle in the freezer before I went to work not knowing about the chemicals in the plastic leaching out of it.  At work, I was always stressed out, and I personally think that was the biggest cause of both my cancer and my mother's breast cancer which she had twice.  I stayed up late because I couldn't bear to thing about going to work again in the morning so I was always tired and run down.

I was never much of an exerciser, and although I blame having been more overweight for higher estrogen levels which can cause cancer, even people who are thin and have exercised still get uterine cancer frequently.

I always wonder with every new symptom if it's come back, and still think there's a good chance it could.  Each year does get slightly easier, and I still dread the appointments.  Thank God I'm down to yearly ones with my gyn/onc (surgeon).  I still go every 6 months to my oncologist at another hospital because I also have hemochromatosis that he follows up on. 

At least I know that if it does come back, I'm experienced at dealing with it now, and I pretty much know what to expect if I have to undergo surgery and chemo again.  The first time is the worst because you hear such bad things on the news about chemo.  I was expecting to be vomiting all the time, but that never happened.  I'll probably be going for follow-ups the rest of my life, or at least until I wind up in a nursing home where nobody really cares much about a person's having a history of cancer.  Everyone in a nursing home is either sick or frail due to old age or injury.  My parents both lived long lives in spite of having had cancer, and I fully expect I will, too.  I'm 67 now, so I'm well on my way.  I think I worry more now about getting old and decrepit like my mother did (she lived to 90), eventually losing my husband, who's four years older than I am, not being able to take care of my house, which I love (I live in a log home), and having to hire people to take care of it or having to move elsewhere.  Those are my biggest worries right now.