When the emotional bottom falls out

chhockle

 

 

 

Hi all, I am new here and just wanted to post what I am going though to see if there are others out there who can relate and connect. I was diagnosed with jaw cancer in February of 2013 and had surgery and radiation shortly after that. I lost the  lower left side of my jaw. About 9 months ago I got the good news that the treatment had worked and there was no sign of cancer. At first life was great and I got back to things as normal but about 3 months ago emotionally the bottom fell out. I started having PTSD symptoms, even the slightest thing that reminded me of being in the hospital causes terrible panic attacks. I walk into places that use cleaners that smell like the hospital and I start shaking and I have to leave. It feels debilitating at the moment. I am seeing a therapist but progress seems very slow.

 

It is deeply frustrating because I realize so deeply how precious life is but I don’t feel like I am able to live it to anywhere near its fullest right now.  I also find it hard to relate to those around me because for them the experience my cancer is over and yet for me it is still effecting me. The depression, anxiety and PTSD are really doing a number on me. I need to find people to talk about this with who have some understanding of the experience and can be some emotional support as I try to move forward.

 

I used to be the kind of person who would make goals and plans but now I have a hard time imagining anything more that 6 months in the future.  Other survivors have told me this is common but I also wonder if anyone has any suggestions with coping  with that. It feels very hard to move forward when you don’t know what forward is. 

molimoli

So Sorry you are feeling depressed chhockle

Cancer robs us of life's fullness and  peace of mind but it can be found again if we try to live one day at a time, traveling and meeting new people helps alot.

Worry won't do anything but stand in your way of of figuring out how to embrace and enjoy life in a different way than you are used to.

If you embrace every tomorrow you will in effect be moving forward. Be determined that cancer is not going to take everything from you while you are still alive. Cancer leaves it's scars inside and outside ,we can't do anything about that but resolve to live quickly and meaningfully.

Have you tried just going on a vacation ,even if it's not abroad ? just to find yourself again. Being in an unfameliar  place with unfameliar people can lift your spirit and bring some calm to the turmoil you are living.If not a vacation try a long drive if you are well enough to do so.

Also you may get some help from a cancer support group, have you tried,? group settings may have someone with your issues or someone who found their way out of that emotional web and may tell you how they did it. I wish you peace of mind  and improved situation. I care, been there ,done that ,it takes time  go easy on yourself. Keep posting so I know when you have made the break through, it will come .  Moli.

Tethys41

Treatment Options

Cancer is hard.  It seems like, as a survivor, you can't ever really go back to your former life.  I went through a period, after treatment, when I experienced panic attacks.  My therapist told me it was very normal, after putting all my efforts towards getting well, to look back and see what a huge eventI had just passed through and have it affect me in the form of panic attacks.  I've been NED for over 5 years and have worked thorugh a lot of emotional baggage.  Writing about my cancer experience helped me process a lot.  When it came to trauma, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and EMDR (EYE MOVEMENT DESENSITIZATION AND REPROCESSING THERAPY) both worked better for me than regular talk therapy.  Both of these techniques are excellent at processing trauma.  I hope you find a way to work through your current condition.