Chemo/nerve pain

Txgirl

my fiancé:

upper left removed with more invasive surgery. Early stage 2. Surgery on 7/23. Was scheduled for 4 chemo/3 wks apart starting 9/3. After 2 he had swelling and red lumps on the left wrist. Fluid on the lung had it removed. Lung doc said no more treatments rare reaction.

he has had mild to severe scar and nerve pain contractions since surgery but now in the last 2 wks he says it is worse. Blames it on chemo ,says he can't sleep, says feels like someone tightens a band in the left side then releases then muscles hurt(reminded me of labor pains) but he says does not get better, still the same as the beginning, is convined he still has cancer. He can't sleep .bis not doing any exercise or therapy except to take a walk. Work for him is desk and mental fatigue not physical.

i feel he needs therapy and work it even if it hurts but he said anything hurts.n

i feel might have to go thru therapy or exercise to make it better he says no. 

He is depressed and very negative on thinking positive that it will get better at least. Any suggestions as what to do

dennycee

Wish you could make him go but you can't.

Perhaps you could persuade him to attend a meeting with other survivors.  Contact the oncology social worker at his hospital to learn where they might be.  

Txgirl

dennycee said:

Wish you could make him go but you can't.

Perhaps you could persuade him to attend a meeting with other survivors.  Contact the oncology social worker at his hospital to learn where they might be.  

Survivor meeting

I feel that would be the best thing for him. He wants nothing to do with talking to others about it, reliving it, helping others that have went thru it or doing a walk for survivors. I hate to say this but it is just all about him. I am very shocked and disappointed that he doesn't use this experience to help others meetings to help himself. 

I am at a loss for words anymore. If I send him an article that might help him he says I should just read it. He doesn't want to relive it. But he tells me in the mornings how he didn't sleep and went over everything that happened since the biopsy. 

I feel he will never believe that he is cured. So sad and I just have to quit fretting over it as it gave me shingles after his surgery. He has to figure it out I guess his way.

cant imagine there is another survivor out there with this attitude . Think I give up and need to concentrate on myself so I don't get sick. Thanks for responding And I will contact the social worker.

dennycee

Txgirl said:

Survivor meeting

I feel that would be the best thing for him. He wants nothing to do with talking to others about it, reliving it, helping others that have went thru it or doing a walk for survivors. I hate to say this but it is just all about him. I am very shocked and disappointed that he doesn't use this experience to help others meetings to help himself. 

I am at a loss for words anymore. If I send him an article that might help him he says I should just read it. He doesn't want to relive it. But he tells me in the mornings how he didn't sleep and went over everything that happened since the biopsy. 

I feel he will never believe that he is cured. So sad and I just have to quit fretting over it as it gave me shingles after his surgery. He has to figure it out I guess his way.

cant imagine there is another survivor out there with this attitude . Think I give up and need to concentrate on myself so I don't get sick. Thanks for responding And I will contact the social worker.

Unfortunately there are many

Unfortunately there are many survivors who are more obsessed with the fact that they might die from this and can't fathom that they might live with it.  Perhaps with more time he will allow himself to believe.  I've been here 5 years with stage 4.  I believe.  

Txgirl

dennycee said:

Unfortunately there are many

Unfortunately there are many survivors who are more obsessed with the fact that they might die from this and can't fathom that they might live with it.  Perhaps with more time he will allow himself to believe.  I've been here 5 years with stage 4.  I believe.  

Thanks

this weekend his son came down and he had a discussion with him about his negative angry attitude. So I hope it makes him think about it. Thanks again

Gins5

Txgirl said:

Thanks

this weekend his son came down and he had a discussion with him about his negative angry attitude. So I hope it makes him think about it. Thanks again

Dad with lung cancer

sorry to hear your dad is sick I'm new to this my dad also has lung cancer upper left lobe removed started chemotherapy Friday 

Gins5

Txgirl said:

Thanks

this weekend his son came down and he had a discussion with him about his negative angry attitude. So I hope it makes him think about it. Thanks again

Dad lung cancer

so sorry to hear your dad is sick also it's so tough hopefully he will get some  soon it's so tough on every one it effects all of the family  so many different ways