Not yet diagnosed but still scared

fearless1956

My first post-----This past week I had mammogram and got called to return for additional films.  Radiologist told me there are linear microcalcifications with some branching in left breast.  Bi-rads 4.  He recommended stereotactic biopsy.  I'm to see breast surgeon on 10/6 for consultation, review of films and to find out if we will go ahead with biopsy.  I'm a nurse and have the reports on the initial mammogram and the repeat views.  I've been reading on the internet, trying to find something that is encouraging and will give me hope that this is benign.  So, far, most everything I'm reading (based on description of my mammogram findings) has me convinced this is cancer.  And I'm scared.  My fear is heightened even more because my mother (age 79) was diagnosed with breast cancer on 8/31 and is having lumpectomy this coming week.  I'm a strong Christian and know God is in control, but I'm also human and fearful.  

Puffin2014

glad you found us

Glad you found us, but keep in mind that the people you're looking for, people who found out it was benign, aren't going to be the ones in this discussion forum!

This first part is so very hard, when you don't have answers, don't have a plan, don't know what you should be preparing yourself for. I will pray that you get the results you're hoping for, but also pray for strength to handle whatever the results turn out to be. I know it's not easy to do, but try not to look too far ahead or go through all the what-if scenerios in your head. It just adds to your stress level. Deal with each day as it comes. We'll all be here for you with advice and support if it turns out you need us.

What you CAN do now is be there for your mom. I hope her surgery goes well. I had my lumpectomy last year. She'll be sore for awhile and will have some activity restrictions with that arm for awhile. If you can find (or make her) a small pillow (like about 6" by 2 or 3") it can make a nice cushion for the incisions while they're healing, like for sleeping or when riding in the car and the seat belt rubs against the incision, depending on which side her cancer is on.

Be careful about internet searches, they can take you to some scary places that don't have accurate information. Besides this site, my oncologist also recommended breastcancer.org as a reputable site. Besides having excellent educational articles, their discussion forums are subdivided, so you can follow forums specifically for those who have had lumpectomies, chemo, radiation, etc. I started with the lumpectomy forum, then moved to the chemo forum, then the radiation forum, and now am active on the Arimidex forum. Be sure and mark any forum you like as a favorite so it's easy to find again and easy to see when new responses have been added.

Let us know what you find out.

elisared

Hi.  Sept 15 I went in for a

Hi.  Sept 15 I went in for a diagnostic mammo with ultrasound.  I had found something in rt breast. At appt something not right. Everyone took longer than usual.Dr walked in and tells me something is in my other breast. Floored me when she told me. I went for stereotactic biopsy which was 9 days after mammo. Soonest appt possible.  Was put on ativan for anxiety. Everything moves so slow it seems. So I decided to learn as much as possible about what my report said. I feel better when I am being proactive regarding this. This limbo is maddening.

Eleven years ago i had axillary disection with a large lump taken out of my underarm which was benign 2004.  I have been reading everything on my report from this site ,and other accredited sites. Nlm for alot of info. Birad 4 architectural distortion of the breast. 

I know how you feel. The shock and knowing what this could me is hard to wrap ones head around. I have received good advice from many who have traveled this road.  Women are amazing supportive and strong.Stay focused. Fear can wreck you. 

I get results tues. I love my kids alot so I am trying to do as much as I can for them just like before my world turned upside down. I am still here I keep telling myself that when I freak out at times. I also tell myself that I have to play the hand that I am dealt. Hope it comes back benign and good results for both of us ((((Hugs)))) Elisa.

GlowMore

elisared said:

Hi.  Sept 15 I went in for a

Hi.  Sept 15 I went in for a diagnostic mammo with ultrasound.  I had found something in rt breast. At appt something not right. Everyone took longer than usual.Dr walked in and tells me something is in my other breast. Floored me when she told me. I went for stereotactic biopsy which was 9 days after mammo. Soonest appt possible.  Was put on ativan for anxiety. Everything moves so slow it seems. So I decided to learn as much as possible about what my report said. I feel better when I am being proactive regarding this. This limbo is maddening.

Eleven years ago i had axillary disection with a large lump taken out of my underarm which was benign 2004.  I have been reading everything on my report from this site ,and other accredited sites. Nlm for alot of info. Birad 4 architectural distortion of the breast. 

I know how you feel. The shock and knowing what this could me is hard to wrap ones head around. I have received good advice from many who have traveled this road.  Women are amazing supportive and strong.Stay focused. Fear can wreck you. 

I get results tues. I love my kids alot so I am trying to do as much as I can for them just like before my world turned upside down. I am still here I keep telling myself that when I freak out at times. I also tell myself that I have to play the hand that I am dealt. Hope it comes back benign and good results for both of us ((((Hugs)))) Elisa.

Great Advice from Puffin**

Prayers for both of you ladies as you go thru the terrible waiting time.......

Agree with all the above advice........ xxoo  Glo

fearless1956

Puffin2014 said:

glad you found us

Glad you found us, but keep in mind that the people you're looking for, people who found out it was benign, aren't going to be the ones in this discussion forum!

This first part is so very hard, when you don't have answers, don't have a plan, don't know what you should be preparing yourself for. I will pray that you get the results you're hoping for, but also pray for strength to handle whatever the results turn out to be. I know it's not easy to do, but try not to look too far ahead or go through all the what-if scenerios in your head. It just adds to your stress level. Deal with each day as it comes. We'll all be here for you with advice and support if it turns out you need us.

What you CAN do now is be there for your mom. I hope her surgery goes well. I had my lumpectomy last year. She'll be sore for awhile and will have some activity restrictions with that arm for awhile. If you can find (or make her) a small pillow (like about 6" by 2 or 3") it can make a nice cushion for the incisions while they're healing, like for sleeping or when riding in the car and the seat belt rubs against the incision, depending on which side her cancer is on.

Be careful about internet searches, they can take you to some scary places that don't have accurate information. Besides this site, my oncologist also recommended breastcancer.org as a reputable site. Besides having excellent educational articles, their discussion forums are subdivided, so you can follow forums specifically for those who have had lumpectomies, chemo, radiation, etc. I started with the lumpectomy forum, then moved to the chemo forum, then the radiation forum, and now am active on the Arimidex forum. Be sure and mark any forum you like as a favorite so it's easy to find again and easy to see when new responses have been added.

Let us know what you find out.

Thank you for your words of

Thank you for your words of encouragement and advice.  And you are of course correct.............this is not the site to find those who would get a benign result.  Not sure what I was thinking to even make that comment, so I've deleted it from my original post.  I've gone all the way out there and thinking the worse.  I did the same when my mom was waiting on results and what she found out wasn't as worse as we had thought.  So, I'm hoping for similar answers.  If it weren't for her diagnosis, I might not have so much anxiety about it all.  The waiting for answers is the hardest.  I might do better to not even try to read anything so that I don't keep myself in a stressed mode.  My focus this upcoming week is my mom and helping her get through her surgery.  (and to be there for my dad)  She is already a strong example to me if I do indeed get the results that I don't want to hear.  

fearless1956

elisared said:

Hi.  Sept 15 I went in for a

Hi.  Sept 15 I went in for a diagnostic mammo with ultrasound.  I had found something in rt breast. At appt something not right. Everyone took longer than usual.Dr walked in and tells me something is in my other breast. Floored me when she told me. I went for stereotactic biopsy which was 9 days after mammo. Soonest appt possible.  Was put on ativan for anxiety. Everything moves so slow it seems. So I decided to learn as much as possible about what my report said. I feel better when I am being proactive regarding this. This limbo is maddening.

Eleven years ago i had axillary disection with a large lump taken out of my underarm which was benign 2004.  I have been reading everything on my report from this site ,and other accredited sites. Nlm for alot of info. Birad 4 architectural distortion of the breast. 

I know how you feel. The shock and knowing what this could me is hard to wrap ones head around. I have received good advice from many who have traveled this road.  Women are amazing supportive and strong.Stay focused. Fear can wreck you. 

I get results tues. I love my kids alot so I am trying to do as much as I can for them just like before my world turned upside down. I am still here I keep telling myself that when I freak out at times. I also tell myself that I have to play the hand that I am dealt. Hope it comes back benign and good results for both of us ((((Hugs)))) Elisa.

Prayers

Elisa, I'll be saying a prayer for you as you await your results.  The waiting is definitey the hardest part.  I can tell that you are a fighter from the words you've said, so even if it's not the answer you want, I bet you face things head on.  

elisared

fearless1956 said:

Prayers

Elisa, I'll be saying a prayer for you as you await your results.  The waiting is definitey the hardest part.  I can tell that you are a fighter from the words you've said, so even if it's not the answer you want, I bet you face things head on.  

I will say a prayer for you

I will say a prayer for you too.  We can do this even though we are really scared. One day at a time. We have to help ourselves. Goodnight

elisared

GlowMore said:

Great Advice from Puffin**

Prayers for both of you ladies as you go thru the terrible waiting time.......

Agree with all the above advice........ xxoo  Glo

Thank you sweet lady xoxo at

Thank you sweet lady xoxo at times I feel like I really need to focus and not be scared.

pris1313

fearless1956 said:

Prayers

Elisa, I'll be saying a prayer for you as you await your results.  The waiting is definitey the hardest part.  I can tell that you are a fighter from the words you've said, so even if it's not the answer you want, I bet you face things head on.  

Scary stuff

I so understand your fear.  I was recently diagnosed with stage 2 invasive lobular carcinoma in my left breast and one lymph node and my world seems to be spinning out of control.  I went to see my gynocologist on Sept 3 about a lump in my left breast.  She was greatly concerned and rushed me to the women's diagnostic center for a diagnostic mammogram and needle biopsy on Sept 10.  I was diagnosed on Sept 15, had an appointment with the oncologist on the 16th, had an appointment with the surgeon and did my pre-op at the hospital on the 18th to make arrangements to get my port catheter placed.  Finally, I had the port put in on Sept 21.  I will begin chemo on Oct 1st.

I am just sick with fear over all the scary things I've read about chemo treatments.  And I'm really freaked out about the hair loss.  They've told me that I will definitely lose mine.  I'm not in the best of health and I'm terrified of getting an infection from my immune system being knocked out.  

I definitely wish you all the best and I pray that you do not get the same news that I received.  Good luck.     

elisared

pris1313 said:

Scary stuff

I so understand your fear.  I was recently diagnosed with stage 2 invasive lobular carcinoma in my left breast and one lymph node and my world seems to be spinning out of control.  I went to see my gynocologist on Sept 3 about a lump in my left breast.  She was greatly concerned and rushed me to the women's diagnostic center for a diagnostic mammogram and needle biopsy on Sept 10.  I was diagnosed on Sept 15, had an appointment with the oncologist on the 16th, had an appointment with the surgeon and did my pre-op at the hospital on the 18th to make arrangements to get my port catheter placed.  Finally, I had the port put in on Sept 21.  I will begin chemo on Oct 1st.

I am just sick with fear over all the scary things I've read about chemo treatments.  And I'm really freaked out about the hair loss.  They've told me that I will definitely lose mine.  I'm not in the best of health and I'm terrified of getting an infection from my immune system being knocked out.  

I definitely wish you all the best and I pray that you do not get the same news that I received.  Good luck.     

Thank you for your pray. Many

Thank you for your pray. Many wonderful people here. I wish you a speedy recovery. The hair loss is sad I know but you can find nice wigs. You are moving forward and quickly which is good. Cancer is scary. I have been on ativan.