Hello Everybody....

phrannie51

This is my first post on the BC forum, tho I've been a member of the Head and Neck part of this community for a while now.  A very dear friend of mine just found out last week that she has a recurrance of BC.  She's been in remission for 12 years, but a lymph node in her neck popped up, and after the scan they told her there is a tumor behind her collarbone....3 centimeters.  She has never had rads or chemo.  She's seen the surgeon, but doesn't see the Onc until next week.  She asked me "what questions would you ask if this were you?".  I know every question I should have asked before treatment of HNC, now...but I honestly can't thing of what I'd ask for BC....I'd want to know what type of chemo I'd be getting and the ramifications of that....other than that, I'm void of real questions...so I thought I'd ask experts.....what questions did you ask?  What questions would you have asked if you knew then what you know now? 

I'm going to get her on here, just haven't had time to explain to her what an incredible place CSN is .

p

disneyfan2008

You sound like a great

You sound like a great friend....I barely remember my dr appts at the start of my BC-but thankfully I had a few friends and family come along to LISTEN and retain all the info.

I was there, heard them , but once i walked out it was a blur-so 2nd and 3rd set of  ears was GREAT.

I would bring a note pad (I forgot many things-once we got off the beaten path)-even if you do the jotting of misc things said. (EVEN use voice recorder on your phone) at the time, that was not an option for me.

 

Denise

Clementine_P

I agree with Denise

That you are a very good friend to do this for her.  I had my husband and father there with me in the first appointment and, like Denise, I was really glad I did.  So much of what was said went in one ear and out the other for me.  I was very happy they were there and we all discussed the next steps together.  I would consider asking if she can work during chemo if need be, how long will chemo take (in my case it was 4 months and I think I was on the short end of things), is this a recurrence of her breast cancer of 12 years ago or is this a new primary, and is she ER/PR positive and/or Her2 neu. 

Best of luck,

Clementine

Kats2

Questions to ask....

Hello....Your friend should ask if this is a new cancer, or indeed a recurrence of her breast cancer......Either way, it needs to be dealt with. I'd definitely bring someone with me for the Oncologist's visit and have them write notes down as the session goes on.......I'm sure the doctor will tell her what treatment or treatments she'll need to have.....If she feels unsure about what needs to be done, she should seek out a second opinion. That will make her feel that she's being treated correctly. ......Two opinions or three are better than one. I'm sure she'll receive follow-up care after this matter is taken care of. I wish her much luck and also courage to face this challenge......

Glad she has a friend like you...! BC patients really do need someone to confide in which helps reduce the fears that automatically come with a cancer diagnosis. Joining a breast cancer support group may help her too.....Just knowing that others are or have gone through what she's going through helps a lot.......! I'll be saying some prayers for your friend......and you too.......!  God bless....  Kats2

VickiSam

Kats2 said:

Questions to ask....

Hello....Your friend should ask if this is a new cancer, or indeed a recurrence of her breast cancer......Either way, it needs to be dealt with. I'd definitely bring someone with me for the Oncologist's visit and have them write notes down as the session goes on.......I'm sure the doctor will tell her what treatment or treatments she'll need to have.....If she feels unsure about what needs to be done, she should seek out a second opinion. That will make her feel that she's being treated correctly. ......Two opinions or three are better than one. I'm sure she'll receive follow-up care after this matter is taken care of. I wish her much luck and also courage to face this challenge......

Glad she has a friend like you...! BC patients really do need someone to confide in which helps reduce the fears that automatically come with a cancer diagnosis. Joining a breast cancer support group may help her too.....Just knowing that others are or have gone through what she's going through helps a lot.......! I'll be saying some prayers for your friend......and you too.......!  God bless....  Kats2

my suggestion

tape recorder, or tape visit on IPhone -- so much will be discussed,  this way your friend can go back multiple times and listen to what was discussed

Clinic trial research available - pertaining to chemo therapy recommended (if this is the case)

Are there any patients you can call and see how chemo or radiation affected them personally

Support groups affliated with hospital -

Remind your friend,  this is her journey - her health, and her decision .. dont allow anyone push your friend into a treatment program without giving her all the FACTS, and possible side efforts.

 

If the Oncologist refuses to provide details, or brushes you off - this may not the Doctor or facility for your friend.

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam

 

RozHopkins

Think the main questions

Think the main questions though a little obvious we still get forgetful when in the middle of things.

 

what type of cancer it is

what stage

has it spread 

 

as it is large I would think chemo would be required

 

what chemo mix will I get, how many

make sure anti nausea med is given just before chemo intravenously 

i would request a port inserted, makes life much easier

ask about all side effects (we can help her with all of those later)

get prepared for the hair loss around second infusion

get prepared for some times of absolutely normal fatigue

see what insurance coverage you get

keep good friends and family close, people who will listen, people who are uplifting and positive that you trust

 

sorry I did not receive radiation

 

others will happily advise on that if she needs it

 

Any advice she is not sure of, or any discomfort with her surgeons, oncologists, cancer nurse, change them.  Mine were brilliant, not all are.  Write everything down and tick off every question as answered, I felt silly doing this but it is absolutely necessary, this is your body, your life.  For important appointments take someone with you to take in the info and is supportive of you, and perhaps do the driving.

 

Please note personally I found the chemo very doable and I am a big baby, most have four infusions but some have many more which I would not have liked to be honest.  So let's see what she is advised we would love to be there for her and thank you for being an amazing, caring friend, I guess we all know who she will want to lean on in the not so distant future.

 

good luck

 

 

 

 

 

Puffin2014

hormone receptive

She's also going to want to know whether her cancer is hormone receptive (estrogen/progesterone/HER2) as that will affect her treatment.

 

button2

Snake oil

Any claims of miraculously curing Stage 4 cancers is completely fradulent. Save your money/sanity folks!