Anyone else plagued by anxiety and borderline hypochondria?

jason.2835

Tell me about it...

I am going through a bit of rough patch right now myself.  I keep telling myself that I am a Stage 1 patient, my tumor was less than 3 cm, they did a radical nephrectomy and I should shut up and count my blessings until the day I die at age 90.  

But it's impossible.  Today was the day I received my 1 year scans; not going to see the doctor about the results until Sept 18.  I won't lie and say that "I'm fine."  Every little thing that the ultrasound technician did and said; you're hanging on every word and every place they stop... It's a mental game we all play I am sure.  

I am just not sure why 6 months ago I barely gave it a second thought while this time I feel a more anxious about the entire thing.  But I don't think there is a survivor on this board that can say that they don't feel the way you describe.

- Jay 

APny

jason.2835 said:

Tell me about it...

I am going through a bit of rough patch right now myself.  I keep telling myself that I am a Stage 1 patient, my tumor was less than 3 cm, they did a radical nephrectomy and I should shut up and count my blessings until the day I die at age 90.  

But it's impossible.  Today was the day I received my 1 year scans; not going to see the doctor about the results until Sept 18.  I won't lie and say that "I'm fine."  Every little thing that the ultrasound technician did and said; you're hanging on every word and every place they stop... It's a mental game we all play I am sure.  

I am just not sure why 6 months ago I barely gave it a second thought while this time I feel a more anxious about the entire thing.  But I don't think there is a survivor on this board that can say that they don't feel the way you describe.

- Jay 

Nana, I agree. This board is

 

Nana, I agree. This board is amazing and you’re one of the amazing people on it J

 

Anmazon, gardening is one of the best antidotes to anxiety. I’m so glad you have the opportunity to make your friends’ garden florish. As for valium, I think whatever helps during those “dark moments” is fine. I have Xanax and it does take the edge off things when my mind starts doing its own thing.

 

Jason, I read your other thread and 100 percent with you on that. As you can see by this thread I started I find it impossible to be optimistic and hopeful 24/7. And scanxiety is very real. I think one reason why the later ones (1 year and past that) are more anxiety producing is because of that 2 – 3 year span where they say most come back. So we’re hoping to get past that hurdle. No guarantees of course, sadly it can come back anytime, but still, at least for me it’s a hurdle to get through and then I think I'll breathe a little easier.

 

Jojo, I read about your scan for ovaries. I'm being monitored for that as well. One cyst on each. Oh joy! And every six months I get the "magic wand." Even more joy! Hoping all goes well with your scan and it turns out harmless.

 

Jojo61

APny said:

Nana, I agree. This board is

 

Nana, I agree. This board is amazing and you’re one of the amazing people on it J

 

Anmazon, gardening is one of the best antidotes to anxiety. I’m so glad you have the opportunity to make your friends’ garden florish. As for valium, I think whatever helps during those “dark moments” is fine. I have Xanax and it does take the edge off things when my mind starts doing its own thing.

 

Jason, I read your other thread and 100 percent with you on that. As you can see by this thread I started I find it impossible to be optimistic and hopeful 24/7. And scanxiety is very real. I think one reason why the later ones (1 year and past that) are more anxiety producing is because of that 2 – 3 year span where they say most come back. So we’re hoping to get past that hurdle. No guarantees of course, sadly it can come back anytime, but still, at least for me it’s a hurdle to get through and then I think I'll breathe a little easier.

 

Jojo, I read about your scan for ovaries. I'm being monitored for that as well. One cyst on each. Oh joy! And every six months I get the "magic wand." Even more joy! Hoping all goes well with your scan and it turns out harmless.

 

Hi Andi
Thanks for your good

Hi Andi

Thanks for your good wishes on my results. Hoping your issues clear up for you as well!!

Hugs

Jojo

APny

Jojo61 said:

Hi Andi
Thanks for your good

Hi Andi

Thanks for your good wishes on my results. Hoping your issues clear up for you as well!!

Hugs

Jojo

Thanks Jojo! Hugs back

Thanks Jojo! Hugs back xo

Andi

todd121

I hear you. Thanks for posting!

I'm trying to take all the good advice here and applying it where I can. Keeping really busy has helped me. My work has been nearly overwhelming and then when I'm not working I've been busy at home. It keeps my mind off it, and helps me fall asleep quickly at night. I've been saying prayers of gratitude as I fall asleep. I just start thinking of things I'm grateful for and keep going until I dose off. The other day I started with the letter A and worked through the alphabet. The next day I started with Z and worked backwards.

I do still worry, but I do a little and then decide to stop. There's a decision in there somewhere to keep at it. Can feel like there's no choice. Instead of saying "I can't stop worrying", I say to myself "I won't stop worrying". Just getting away from the victim self talk has been helping.

I have my scans next week. Can't believe 3 months have gone by. I'm wondering if the new nodes they saw in my lungs last time will turn out to be anything.Then there's the prospect of brand new stuff. In the past I've had scans in the morning and saw the doc in the afternoon and they already had my results. Now they're doing them a week in advance, so I won't know for a week (although they promised to contact me if there's something worrisome, but, you know, i'd just as soon wait a week).

Best to you all,

Todd

APny

todd121 said:

I hear you. Thanks for posting!

I'm trying to take all the good advice here and applying it where I can. Keeping really busy has helped me. My work has been nearly overwhelming and then when I'm not working I've been busy at home. It keeps my mind off it, and helps me fall asleep quickly at night. I've been saying prayers of gratitude as I fall asleep. I just start thinking of things I'm grateful for and keep going until I dose off. The other day I started with the letter A and worked through the alphabet. The next day I started with Z and worked backwards.

I do still worry, but I do a little and then decide to stop. There's a decision in there somewhere to keep at it. Can feel like there's no choice. Instead of saying "I can't stop worrying", I say to myself "I won't stop worrying". Just getting away from the victim self talk has been helping.

I have my scans next week. Can't believe 3 months have gone by. I'm wondering if the new nodes they saw in my lungs last time will turn out to be anything.Then there's the prospect of brand new stuff. In the past I've had scans in the morning and saw the doc in the afternoon and they already had my results. Now they're doing them a week in advance, so I won't know for a week (although they promised to contact me if there's something worrisome, but, you know, i'd just as soon wait a week).

Best to you all,

Todd

Wow, what a great idea!

“I just start thinking of things I'm grateful for and keep going until I dose off. The other day I started with the letter A and worked through the alphabet. The next day I started with Z and worked backwards.”

I’m going to start doing that. Thanks, Todd! I also like the "I won't stop worrying" approach. Makes you feel in charge instead of helpless with "I can't stop".

 

And I'm wishing you all the very best on your upcoming scans. I hope there’s nothing new and that the lung nodules are you’re your average harmless nodules. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and keeping you in my thoughts.